


Every Morning as I Wake

by StripedSunhat



Series: Waking Words [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Can It Be Slowburn If It's an Outline?, Communication Failure, Crack Treated Seriously, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Emotional Constipation, F/M, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Just Add Ninjas, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves better, More Batfam Than Batcanon, Notfic, Secrets, self-indulgent nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 59,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25738840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StripedSunhat/pseuds/StripedSunhat
Summary: An OutlinePlustmstyle Notfic! of a fairly snarky, very plotty look at Damian and Marinette as soulmates.Hopefully a fairly nuanced exploration of soulmates and how they would affect their lives, and how these two characters could come together and eventually work as a couple while still keeping their personalities and the basic tenets of both their canons; with all the gravitas of a pun-off between Chat Noir and Nightwing.  Which is to say, none.Featuring the Batfam in all it’sinsanityglory, Ladybug and Chat Noir in all theirinsanitypower, Bad parenting, worse parenting, Chat Noir actually being returned to being Ladybug’s partner, ninjas, abysmal life decisions, a trolling author and kicking Hawkmoth in the butterflies.
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Damian Wayne
Series: Waking Words [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946038
Comments: 600
Kudos: 985





	1. Getting to Know You

**Author's Note:**

> Getting to Know You  
> Getting to Know All About You,  
> Getting to Like You  
> Getting to Hope You Like Me
> 
> Getting to Know Y–  
> just kidding.  
> You get nothing.

So. Soulmates.

Some background on how soulmates would work here

    1. Most people do not have soulmates. It’s not _~~Oh my god the sacred bonds of prophecy!!!~~_ levels of rare but it’s more unexpected than not.
    2. If you have a soulmate then the first thing they say when they wake up each day you hear in your head.
    3. It usually takes about a year or two until you can hear your soulmate because the bond somehow knows how to filter out nonsense sounds. A good thing because otherwise the only thing a lot of people would ever hear from their soulmate is a lot of weird grumble-yawns.
    4. Of Marinette’s class Marinette, Rose, Juleka and Nathaniel have soulmates. Rose and Juleka with each other and Nathaniel with a girl in Germany.  
(You know who else has a soulmate? Gabriel. Because soulbound does **_not_** mean healthy and oohh boy is he a case study on how soulmates can go horribly, _horribly_ wrong.)
    5. None of the Batfam have soulmates. There is a rumor that Batman’s soulmate is Gotham itself. No one’s quite sure who started that rumor but you can be damn sure Dick perpetuates it. Back when he was Robin he used to drop down on unsuspecting criminals, intoning ‘The city awakens’ as creepily as he could manage or if he was alone, claim that ‘B got sent on a little errand.’ Because he is a troll. He makes it a point to teach every one of his siblings, official or otherwise, his tricks. This rumor will live on to eternity.  
(Later, after everything goes wrong with Lazarus pits and pit madness and then starts crawling back to something maybe hopefully slightly less horrible Jason starts dropping down on unsuspecting criminals, intoning ‘Crime Alley awakens’. It’s one of the first signs of making peace with even parts of his family, way way before he actually does.)



Now that we’ve got that out of the way let’s go back to our actual main characters, okay? Okay.

Mari first.

Time zones, they’re a thing. As are language barriers.

…

~Yay~

It actually takes a while for Marinette’s parents to realize she has a soulmate since he lives in a completely different time zone and doesn’t speak French. Eventually they figure out that baby Mari’s resistance to a set sleep schedule isn’t just her being a handful but because ‘the boy in my head only talks _after_ I’m supposed to go to bed’.

Cue a whole lot of tears and hugs and ‘my baby’s got a soulmate!’ and ‘oh sweetie I’m so happy for you!’ and ‘we can’t wait until you get to meet him’ and ‘my precious sweet baby!!!’

    Tom and Sabine: “So what’s he like Marinette?”  
Marinette: *shrugs* “I dunno.”  
Tom and Sabine: Does he know about you yet?”  
Marinette: *shrugs* “I dunno.”  
Tom and Sabine: “What does he say sweetie?”  
Marinette: *shrugs* “I dunno.”  
Tom and Sabine: “What do you mean _I dunno_?”  
Marinette: “I don’t understand what he’s saying.”

…

~Yaay~

~^~

The next part’s the hard part. Tom and Sabine figure out that Mari’s Magical Mystery Soulmate greets her between 11:00 and midnight Paris time so they work out a compromise. Marinette’s bedtime is bumped an hour earlier, Tom and Sabine will wake her up at 11:00, then they’ll all sit up until she hears her soulmate before she goes back to bed.

The language part is harder. Tom and Sabine start playing clips of languages for Marinette in hopes of finding one that ‘sounds right’. But all they’ve got to go on is the not exactly discerning ear of a three-year-old who’s only ever heard French. They’re pretty sure he speaks multiple languages and switches between them just to make everything even harder. Eventually they figure out one of the languages is English. ~Guess who’s getting English lessons?~

They think Marinette’s Magical Mystery Soulmate is probably about her age but that’s pretty much all they know because Marinette has been stuck with the most stubborn and cold three/four-year-old on the planet. Tom and Sabine aren’t quite sure what to think about Magical Mystery Soulmate. He has to know about Marinette by now. Mari’s introduced herself in every language she could parrot ‘My name is Marinette’ in. But so far MMS has never given her a name in return or a greeting or any kind of acknowledgment of Marinette at all. (See? This is what they mean. Just a hello. Would it kill him? No, it wouldn’t. But nope. MMS is too good for such things as manners or proper introductions or _interaction at all_ ) Marinette by contrast is _soooper_ protective of her soulmate. She plows through her English lessons and spends hours scribbling out ideas in crayons about what to say to him.

~^~

Then comes The Night.

    It’s 11:12. Marinette is half asleep on the couch, determined to stay awake for her Magical Mystery Soulmate. Tom is reading. Sabine is tweaking a new recipe for bugnes. Then Marinette’s eyes _shoot open_ and the next thing they know they’re dealing with **Rocket Marinette**.  
Marinette: “Maman! Papa! Maman! Papa!”  
 **[Rocket Marinette** is jumping on every flat surface in the entire room, seemingly at once.]  
Marinette: “Maman!! Papa!! Guess what guess what guess what!!! MY SOULMATE SAID MY NAME MY SOULMATE SAID MY NAME!!!!!”  
 **[Rocket Marinette** has now reached warp speed.]  
Marinette:“Hesaidmynamehesaidmynamehesaidmyname! Hesaidhellohesaidmynamehesaidhellohesaidit _inFRENCH!!!!!!_ ”  
There is no more sleep that night.

~^~

So Magical Mystery Soulmate starts learning French and starts _occasionally_ addressing Marinette’s existence. He still doesn’t give his name because two-way communication is for losers. Marinette doubles down on her soulmate kick. She starts a journal of everything she knows about MMS. It’s a very sparse journal.

(There is a page that’s been ripped out, crumpled up, folded in half and tucked back into the journal that reads _he’s killed someone_. Older Marinette has tried to throw it out more times than she can count but she could never quite bring herself to. It had to be wrong. I mean, look at that handwriting, think about how young she must have been (how young _he_ must have been) when she wrote it she doesn’t even remember it if it wasn’t for the note she wouldn’t have any proof about any of it ever happening at all she must have been mistaken. Or making a joke. Or something. It can’t be true. She should just rip the page up and forget about it. She still doesn’t.)

One night she comes back from her patented ‘zoning out listening to Magical Mystery Soulmate’ trance, looks at her parents and goes, “Maman, Papa. I need to learn Arabic.” ~Guess who’s getting Arabic lessons?~

Marinette starts getting older. She starts getting into fashion and designing. (Okay, so at this point they’re still mostly crayon scribbles but it’s a start.) Her parents stop sitting up with her so her soulmate can be private so long as she promises to go to bed as soon as he wakes up _._ Marinette promises. Then she immediately stays up designing dresses (crayon scribbles).

Fun fact: it is possible to get so little sleep that whatever cosmic force controls soulbonds mark it as **_Nap_** rather than **_Sleep_** and your morning message doesn’t get sent. The night after Marinette’s all-night designing extravaganza she receives the world’s most aggressive greeting of _‘I’m not worried I just want to make sure you’re okay you didn’t say anything yesterday why didn’t you say anything did something happen is something wrong not that I’m worried I’m definitely not worried **Marinette you’d better answer.** ’_

Oops.

Marinette keeps growing up. Her crayon scribbles start becoming actual designs. She starts actually creating some of them (or trying anyway but she’s getting there). MMS continues to be standoffish. He still almost never talks _directly_ to her. When he does it’s usually reminders to get some fucking **sleep**. Seven/eight-year-old Marinette is a little less enamored by MMS than three-year-old Marinette was. She still loves him but he’s kind of an asshole.

Marinette turns ten. MMS moves. Suddenly he lives in a _completely different time zone **and it’s still not hers.**_ No now, rather than Australia or New Zealand (nope! but nice try Mari) MMS is somewhere on the eastern coast of one of the Americas. Want more specifics? So does Marinette and MMS **_WON’T TELL HER ANYTHING_**. He does _eventually_ cave and specify he’s now in the American northeast. (he won’t give her the city though because specifics are for losers)

There are benefits to this new move. MMS starts talking directly to her pretty much every day. Rather than eleven at night she hears him at around one in the afternoon. (Mari has to ask him not to use French because she wants to make sure she knows it’s him and not one of her classmates) MMS seems happier wherever he is. He even starts occasionally dropping personal facts. (Still no names because names are for losers)

Then one day Marinette’s soulmate doesn’t say anything.

It’s fine, it’s happened before.

Two days.

Still fine. There’s been times before when this has happened. It used to be a thing, occasionally wherever he lived before.

Three days.

Fine. Absolutely fine. He’s fine he’s gotta be fine–

A week.

A month.

At all.

Marinette’s soulmate is gone.

* * *

And now everyone’s favorite demon spawn assassin baby.

Time zones, still a thing. As are language barriers.

Thank god for that.

Damian al Ghul is born to be the heir apparent of the League of Assassins and the heir laying in wait for The Bat and a baby murder bot and a spy the League can send to infiltrate, investigate and alter the outside world _and_ a potential future meatsuit for his grandfather if he’s not good enough at everything else and maybe even if he is. Damian is taught to hold a knife before he can even speak.

…

~Yaaay~

The League does **not** talk about soulmates. So baby Damian has no clue what they are at all. What he does know is every afternoon a voice in his head talks to him. It’s less than a minute each day and he has no clue what she’s saying but that doesn’t stop it from being his favorite time of day. ( ~~and the only time of day he feels human~~ )

(There’s every possibility that when his instructors first taught him about angels his mind immediately went to the voice in his head.)

He should tell his mother. Or his grandfather. But he doesn’t want to. He learned how to hold a knife since before he could speak. He learned that anything good gets taken away since before he could hold a knife. It gets taken away because he wasn’t good enough or focused enough or he hasn’t earned it or it could get in the way of his loyalty to the League. Damian might not have the words to articulate all that yet but he _knows_ it. Anything good gets taken away and the voice is the _best_ thing.

So the voice stays his secret.

The voice has a name. Marinette. She tells him that. And keeps telling him. For days and days and days in like every language ever. (not quite Dami, but good try)

Marinette.

The voice has a name.

The voice is named Marinette.

His Marinette.

He does not give her his name. Even if she’s just a voice in his head he knows the importance of secrets. You keep absolutely everything secret always. Ever.

His Marinette starts learning English. He’s been learning English since it’s his father’s main language and if he ever plans to take his rightful place as his heir and eventual replacement he should know it. Suddenly English lessons become a lot more important.

His mother tells him about soulmates. She explains how soulmates hear the first words the other speaks every morning and they’re bound together and about how in the League there are no such thing as soulmates because nothing comes before the League. She watches his face very closely as she does. But every morning is different every afternoon and a soulmate is different from an angel so it doesn’t ping enough right then to show on his face. And thank god for that.

The whole soulmate thing percolates in his brain for the rest of the day and all night. By the time he wakes up the next morning all the pieces have clicked.

Soulmates. Marinette is his soulmate.

Probably.

Maybe.

_He can never tell anyone. ~~Anything good gets taken away.~~_

If she is his soulmate then she hears everything he says every morning. And now that he’s thinking about it, Marinette has always known how he’s feeling (mostly through tone. He’s sad she’s comforting; he’s angry, she’s cheerful; he’s scared, she’s strong). She’s his soulmate. He has a _soulmate._ She is _his_ he gets to keep her no one can take her away. The League can’t take her away Grandfather can’t take her away she is perfect and good and he gets to keep her.

Right?

He asks his angel if she’s his soulmate because Marinette will hear him. Because Marinette is the only good thing ever and she would tell him and she _has_ to be his soulmate. He asks in Arabic because Marinette doesn’t speak it so she won’t understand. Because secrets.

Damian is four years old when he gives himself a birthday gift. He wakes himself up an hour and a half early and spends that time silently trying not to hyperventilate. He has looked everything up he knows what he’s doing now he just needs to actually do it. It’s just two words. Two words.

He can’t do this.

At 5:12, three minutes before his keepers are set to come get him, he manages it.

    “Bonjour, Marinette.”

Almost eleven hours later, way later than Marinette usually greets him he gets absolutely bombarded with a flood of overexcited French and English. He’s sparring with one of his instructors when it happens and ends up breaking a rib and nearly losing an arm. It’s the first time he thinks of Marinette as a distraction rather than a lifeline. ~~Still worth it~~.

Damian gets older. He starts sneak teaching himself French because he doesn’t like the idea of his soulmate saying things he can’t understand. He also starts sneak-leaning Spanish and Polish so if he gets caught the importance of – _must learn French now because soulmate_ – is hidden. Because secrets.

He kills someone. He tells Marinette then **immediately regrets**.

He kills a second person. He doesn’t tell Marinette. (It doesn’t count if it’s in Arabic and she can’t understand him)

He kills a lot of people because his mother or grandfather or instructors tell him to. He doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t tell Marinette.

Marinette starts learning Arabic. It’s ~~perfect~~ horrible. How is he supposed to not tell her things he doesn’t want her to know if she can understand him? (Oh Dami you little baby hypocrite we love you.)

Then one day Marinette doesn’t say anything. Damian ~~promptly freaks the fuck out~~ is fine, asking perfectly calmly and rationally if something happened he should be informed about. It turns out she stayed up too late and didn’t get enough sleep to count as sleep. That’s a thing that can happen?!?

Damian gets older. He starts endurance training and Talia has him stay up for days on end. He spends an impressive amount of time thinking of what to say to Marinette as soon as he’s allowed to sleep again. So yeah sleep deprivation training quickly becomes his least favorite thing. At least when Marinette falls down the design rabbit hole it a.) is only for one night and b.) promises an exited babble about her latest project. Inspired Marinette is one of his favorite Marinettes.

~^~

And then comes **The Day.**

    Damian is seven. He’s walking through part of the training grounds with Talia when he hears one of the League Members talking. Damian stops. He knows that League member. That League member _doesn’t talk._  
Damian: [staring at the ninja who is very much speaking] “But. He can’t speak.”  
Talia: “He had lost the right to speak. He has recently regained it.”  
Damian: “What did he do?”  
Talia: “He had a soulmate.”  
Damian: [Damian.ex is now offline] “What.”  
Talia: [not noticing the signs her child has turned into a malfunctioning robot at the mention of soulmates] “Any member of the League who is born with a soulmate is barred from speaking so as to not spread any information about us to the outside world. In order to regain the right to do so they must track their soulmate down and either bring them into League where they have to prove both their loyalty and worth or kill them.”  
Damian: [starts frantically looking around for a newcomer. He couldn’t have– The League couldn’t–]  
Talia: [still not noticing the signs, possibly purposefully so because she’s not completely soulless, I haven’t decided yet] “He killed her.”  
[Damian.ex has crashed]

The League kills soulmates. The League would kill his soulmate. The League can take his soulmate away. The League can take Marinette away Grandfather can take Marinette away ~~she is perfect and good and anything good is gets taken away.~~

Inspired Marinette is no longer one of his favorites. It is not worth Silent Marinette.

~^~

Damian turns ten. He is sent to The Bat in order to distract and undermine him. He meets his father. He stabs his father’s inadequate sidekick. Drake doesn’t die which means Damian’s already failing. ( ~~not good enough~~ ) He may or may not babble the entire story along all his fears at not knowing what to do and what the new rules are except that he’s failing by both his mother’s rules and his father’s rules to Marinette the next morning. (He’s had to resort to ancient Sumerian when he wants to tell Marinette something he doesn’t want her to know. He doesn’t trust her not to just magically understand him otherwise. If anyone could manage it, it’s his angel.)

Killing is against his father’s rules.

Scratch that, killing is _wrong_ according to his father’s rules.

Tt.

Learning how to be a real boy is going to take a while.

Gotham is a change and a half. He doesn’t know what to think of his father with his rules and his unworthy fake children. But he has a room and there’s less worry of someone spying on him in the morning than there was in the League. He can greet Marinette without having to be afraid of being caught. Marinette no longer greets him in the early afternoon. Instead he has to wait for one in the morning to hear her. Damian stays up in the cave or later on the rooftops. He stops getting up at the crack of nothing and instead starts getting up at actual sane times.

He meets the rest of the Batfam. There are too many of them. He becomes Robin. Bruce dies. Grayson takes over as Batman. Grayson proves himself to not be a complete waste. Drake finds Bruce. They bring Bruce back. Perhaps it was a good thing he didn’t succeed in killing him. Todd dubs him demon spawn. He tries to stab him. He’s less successful than he was with Drake. He carves a life in Gotham. He starts thinking very hard about everything the League taught him. He asks Marinette a lot of questions in Sumerian.

Damian Wayne has a life in Gotham. He is Robin and he is his father’s son and he is not a member of the League of Assassins anymore.

And then Heretic happens.

And Damian dies.


	2. You'd Think Something More Would Happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so Damian's dead.  
> Bummer.  
> Well I guess that's the end of this AU.

What are you still doing here?

The story's over.

Shoo.

In all seriousness I’m going to say Damian was dead for about three months. I know it’s probably longer but that’s what I’m going with. 1.) I haven’t read the actual comics 2.) comic book time is weird at the best of times 3.) I feel bad enough for poor baby Marinette as is without taking away her soulmate for even longer 4.) let’s be honest, that’s hardly the biggest canon issue here.

So Damian dies and Marinette kind of falls apart. Day 1 she doesn’t really think anything of it. Day 2 she’s nervous. Day 3 she tells her parents. Day 4 officially marks the longest she’s ever gone without hearing from him. Day 7 her parents try to talk to her about it while awkwardly dancing around actually saying ‘dead’. Day 10 Marinette is nothing more than a puddle of tears. Her soulmate is dead. Her soulmate is dead and she doesn’t even know his name and now she never will because he’s **dead.** He’s dead and all she’s got left of him is a notebook with almost nothing in it and she’ll never learn anything else to write in it and she won’t ever hear his voice ever again.

Marinette cries her eyes out multiple times and slowly learns to live in a world without her soulmate.

Meanwhile with the Batfam someone has stolen Damian’s corpse. (because that’s canon. Seriously the boy’s corpse is stolen multiple times what the actual hell?) Bruce is… less than pleased with this turn of events. They get him back. Darkside happens. Suddenly Damian isn’t dead anymore.

…

Well.

That happened.

~^~

Damian’s alive again. Yay! It’s wonderful and perfect for all of five minutes before Bats realizes Damian hasn’t said a single word since he came back. Now is when the worry kicks in.

Resurrections are not all created equal. (Just ask Gabriel about Emilie. hey-o!). What if he’s hurt? What if he physically can’t speak? Bruce told him not to speak when he first woke up, what if he took it as an order to never speak again?

Worry mode is in full gear now. What if he has amnesia? What if he’s traumatized? What if he’s evil? What if he’s crazy like Jason was? What if he’s not truly back and is just a soulless husk animated by dark magic? No, wait. He’s glaring. That’s his signature glare; he’s fine, soul fully in place.

Then why won’t you speak?!?

From Damian’s point of view Heretic stabbed him; then there was pain, just for a second; then, darkness. In between the pain and the dark there’d been a point – suspended in between heartbeats – of clarity. Realizing _I am going to die._ And he was here getting hugged by Bruce. So he’d been dead and now he wasn’t.

Neat.

During that death-sparked moment of clarity Damian realized he’d never talk with Marinette again. He wished soulmates worked so that they were the last thing you heard before you fell asleep. In that moment all he wanted was to hear his angel.

A second resurrection-sparked moment of clarity hits Damian about five seconds after he wakes up. He’s awake. He _woke up_. He just woke up so the first thing he says Marinette will be able to hear.

**It must be perfect.**

His father’s none too happy about this temporary vow of silence but it doesn’t matter. He’ll prove he’s fully functioning to his father’s satisfaction **_after_** he greets Marinette.

He gets dragged back to the cave. (Not literally. Dick and Bruce are about five seconds away from covering him in pillows and bubble wrap)

Damian needs to get away long enough to greet Marinette without any of his family overhearing. First he needs to figure out what to say, then he needs to slip away.

He has absolutely no idea what to say.

Months. They told him he had been dead for months. Marinette hasn’t heard from him in _months._

**It. Must. Be. Perfect.**

Damian spends the next few hours beating his head against the wall trying to come up with the perfect words. Around him his family is going insane. (Bruce is running tests and creating on the fly contingencies for god knows what. Dick is panicking. Barbara is researching everything she can get her hands on so _everything_. Tim is casually floating the idea that maybe the demon spawn came back wrong and was he ever really right to start with?) Damian does not care. He can deal with all of them **_after._**

He needs help. 

Grayson. He the closest to human in this family. And he’s had relationships with females before. He’d be able to help Damian figure out what to say.

But there’s no way to get him away from everyone else and definitely no way he wouldn’t tell everyone.

**It Must Be Perfect.**

Fuck it.

Damian grabs a pen and a sheet of paper and angrily writes

> I need help figuring out how to greet my soulmate.

    Dick: “But you don’t have a soulmate.”  
[Ah Damian’s ‘you are an idiot’ glare. Dick had actually missed that glare while he was dead.]  
Dick: “Wait… are you saying you have a soulmate?”  
[the ‘you are an idiot’ glare intensifies]  
Tim: “Demon Spawn has a soulmate!?!”  
[idiot glare now reaching critical mass]  
Dick: [whips out cellphone] “Jay, you’ve got to get over to the cave now.”  
Jason: “Why the fuck would I–”  
Dick: _“Damian has a soulmate.”_  
Jason: “What the fuck!?”  
Damian regrets everything. Will someone please kill him again?

Within thirty minutes every member of the Batfam who’s currently on planet is in the cave crowding around Damian pestering him about his soulmate because the Bat-grapevine works with terrifying efficiency. Everyone has suggestions. Every one of them is bad. Amazingly enough it’s Bruce who offers up the first useful piece of advice. (Look, I’m not necessarily saying he’s had to write ‘ _Surprise I’m not actually dead, I just faked it!’_ notes to women before I’m just saying with the life he lives there’s no saying he hasn’t.)

    Bruce: “Do you know her name?”  
Damian: [nods]  
Bruce: “Start with that.” (yes, this is how much the assorted Batfam has been failing at this. It took _2 hours_ to reach ‘start with her name’)  
Jason: “And that name is…?”  
Damian: [murder glare]  
Dick: “Does she know your name?”  
Damian: [second murder glare]  
Barbara: “I’m going to take that as a ‘no’.”  
Steph: “Why doesn’t your soulmate know your name? She’s your _soulmate_.”  
Tim: “I’m still trying to wrap my head around Demon Spawn having a soulmate.”  
Damian: [glare intensifies]  
Cass: “Is he the first of us to have a soulmate?”  
Dick: “Superheroes? Nah, Clark and Lois won that ages ago.”  
Barbara: “I still have money on Diana and Steve.”  
Cass: “No. [gestures around at the Batcave] _Us_.”  
Barbara: “Oh. Yes, he is.”  
Steph: “I can’t believe we finally have a soulbound family member.”  
Tim: “I can’t believe it’s the Demon Spawn.”  
[Damian has given up on glaring and is now reaching for a sword]  
Bruce: “We’re getting off track.” (this is why it took 2 hours)  
Jason: “Have you considered apologizing for your existence?”
    

    

Finally, the collective braincell of the Batkids (you’d think there’d be more being raised by the by the world’s greatest detective and all, but whatcha gonna do?) help Damian cobble together a suitable greeting. Now he just has to wait until he’s sure Marinette’s awake. He won’t tell them where she lives, only that she’s definitely asleep right now. The best idea is to wait for her to wake up and greet him and he greet her right after. Cue Damian sitting on the floor in the middle of the cave, eyes closed, listening intently while everyone else hovers in middle school study hall levels of quiet.

    

Everyone expects him to get up and bolt as soon as soon as he hears her. That’s Damian’s plan too. Except then he hears her. She’s stopped talking to him. Damian can count on one hand the number of times she hasn’t directly greeted him.

    

She’s given up.

    

Fuck it. He’s not waiting a single second longer to greet his angel.

    

The entire Batfam promptly freaks out when rather than running away Damian starts _talking_. In **_French._**

    

Everyone’s reeling from that huge show of faith. Of course Damian has to ruin it. “Marinette is a civilian and deserves her life and her privacy. If any of you try to find her I’ll decapitate you. [completely ignores the whiplash he’s just caused] Now, Father I believe you had some more test you wanted to run?”

    

* * *

    

It’s just another normal morning for Marinette. She’s finally starting to get used to her first words of the day not meaning anything. It only hurts a little anymore. (That’s a lie it’s a gaping hole in the middle of her soul that rips itself back open every time she wakes up and opens her mouth then remembers there’s no one out there to greet). She starts getting ready for the day. “Why is my shoe all the way over there?”

    

Then she hears him.

    

It’s a normal morning for Tom and Sabine too. At least until there’s a loud crash followed by the sound of Marinette crying.

    

Marinette is a sobbing heap in the middle of her room. She’s clutching a shoe crying her eyes out. She looks worse than she has since the second week after her soulmate went silent. When she catches sight of her parents she starts sobbing harder.

    
    Marinette: “I heard him I heard him!”  
Tom and Sabine: “Heard who sweetheart?”  
Marinette: “He’s awake I heard him!”  
Tom and Sabine: “Heard who?”  
Marinette: “My soulmate!”  
Tom and Sabine: [glances at each other] [okay which of us is going to tackle that our grieving daughter is now hallucinating?]

It takes another hour for Marinette to calm down enough to explain things properly. He wasn’t dead he was in a coma! (sure Mari, let’s go with that) Sure it sounds bad but he’s awake now so it doesn’t matter anymore! (uhhh… No. It definitely still matters) He was there. He was there and he was in Marinette’s head. No, not in her head as in _‘it’s all in your head’_ in her head as in _‘soulmate’_. Yes she’s sure Papa. Yes she’s sure it was him. She knows her own soulmate Maman! No he still hasn’t given her a name. _That’s part of how she’s so sure!_

Fun fact: it is possible to take a long enough nap that whatever cosmic force controls soulbonds marks it as **_Sleep_** rather than **_Nap_**. It’s harder to do than the reverse but still possible. 

Think those fifteen-minute power naps you wake up from nine hours later. Marinette wants to immediately down enough sleepy time tea to knock her out for the next six to eight hours. Tom and Sabine disagree. At least wait more than an hour. Please? For us?

_Fiiiine._

Marinette waits. She and Sabine make bugnes. (It’s been the official unofficial pastry for MMS ever since the night he first said hello) Marinette drinks like three gallons of sleepy time tea then conks out at the table in the middle of crafting draft #72 of what to say. She wakes up at like six at night then proceeds to freak the hell out because she slept through early afternoon and that’s when he used to greet her and what if he greeted her again and she slept through it oh god she never should have fallen asleep what if she slept through his greeting she knew she should have gone back to sleep at like 8 am why did you make her stay up she should have started downing tea as soon as he finished greeting her–

    Sabine: “Sweetheart, he just got out of a three-month coma then waited up until one in the morning to greet-snipe you. I don’t think he’s keeping a normal schedule just yet.”  
Marinette: “Oh. Right.”  
Sabine: “Did you at least greet him before you started freaking out?”  
…  
Oops.

(We now see the tragic flaw in Marinette’s meticulous logic: not planning for Damian’s brand of crazy)

~^~

Somewhere in Wayne Manor Damian has just sat down for lunch – his first meal post-resurrection – when a spam of panicked French hits him. He’s on his feet pulling a knife from god knows where before he can blink. He’s just about to go tearing off downstairs to steal the batplane – that’s his angel it’s the middle of the day in Paris something must have happened – when he realizes she’s not hurt she’s just panicking. A lot. Wait. Still the middle of the day there. Further listening reveals her cunning mid-day nap plan.

    Alfred: [who is fazed by nothing, still calmly drying dishes] “Is everything alright with Mlle. Marinette? [and then because there is a legitimate chance he’s psychic] I do hope her nap was restful after the shock she must have had this morning.”  
Damian: “Alfred I need sleeping pills.”  
Alfred: “You just emerged from one ‘coma’ Master Damian, let’s not put you in another just yet.”  
Damian: “I need to make it seem like I slept all morning.”  
Alfred: “You did. You didn’t awaken until 11:30.”  
Damian: “That was half an hour before she did. She slept through my greeting the only solution is to immediately go back to sleep and pretend that never happened.”  
Alfred: “Yes given how determined you were with your first greeting one did wonder why you didn’t similarly wait for confirmation before delivering your second.”  
Damian: “I didn’t expect her to be asleep!”>/dd>

    

(We now see the tragic flaw in Damian’s meticulous logic: not planning for Marinette’s brand of crazy)

    

~^~

    

Marinette stays home the next day too and she spends the entire morning high-key panicking. What if she really did hallucinate yesterday? What if it really was all in her head. What if she just wanted to hear him again so much she made it up? She keeps panicking all the way until 1:38 exactly which is when she hears him. (the exact same greeting she slept through yesterday, which as far as Damian’s concerned _she need never know_ ) She breaks down crying again. But she has proof she’s not crazy and her soulmate is BACK.

    

Smiles and teary hugs all around!

    

~^~

    
    Bonus because there’s no way the boys actually listened to Damian’s threat to back off. Dick: “So we have the name Marinette, the fact that she speaks French, and a potential time zone which contains France.”  
Tim: “Along with six other French speaking countries.”  
…  
Tim: “Just being accurate.”  
Dick: “How popular is the name Marinette?”  
Tim: “You don’t want me to answer that.”  
Dick: “This is going to be so hard.”  
Jason: “Why am I here again?”

* * *

As life goes back to normal Marinette she decides she’s never again going to have no idea what’s happened to her soulmate. She’s looked up Gotham and that place is _terrifying_. He got hurt once, what’s to stop him from getting hurt again? Is she just supposed to wait around for him to go silent again? Nope. Not happening. No way.

So she gives MMS (and she would like to point out here that she _still_ doesn’t even know his **_name_** ) her phone number. Open up some non-metaphysical channels of communication.

––> side note: she has to give it to him after Dami’s little dirt-nap not before because ‘back from months of being dead’ is one of the few things I could see him breaking his communication embargo for

Damian is on his first patrol back when Mari springs it on him. 

Damian promptly falls off the roof.

Because nothing says no adverse side effects like falling off a roof for literally no reason! Then someone (Dick, let’s be honest it’s definitely Dick) does the time zone crunch and realizes it’s Marinette Time. (Marinette Time has a two-fold definition in the cave Marinette time –lowercase time: CET`, Marinette Time – uppercase Time: when Marinette wakes up and greets him) That’s when the teasing starts.

So this is his life now.

…he hates it already.

Marinette is so excited when MMS greets her with a phone number. He’s– oh wait. That’s _her_ number. Maybe he’s just repeating it back to her to make it clear he got it right. Or maybe he isn’t sure and he wants verification before he calls her tomorrow–

    Damian: “I’m not going to call you. And I’m not going to give you my phone number either. [Remember when little Marinette thought her soulmate was a bit of an asshole? Scratch that, her soulmate is a _dick._ ] It’s not worth the risk to communicate further than we already do. You might think you can manage it but you are not equipped to handle my world. [ ** _Dick._** ] …My name is Damian.”

Congratulations Damian, you took something that only yesterday Marinette wanted to know more than pretty much anything else and made it feel like the world’s worst consolation prize.

Right, that cinches it. Damian might be her soulmate and she’ll always love him but she’ll never be in love with him. Not even if he showed up tomorrow dropped down on one knee and declared his eternal love for her. In fact if he did she’d have some choice words for him.

~^~

The next couple years go pretty much like they would without soulmates. The biggest differences are Marinette is _sliiightly_ better at getting up on time and Damian has to endure more teasing/pestering from his brothers. Since Marinette grew up knowing so little about ~~MMS~~ Damian she doesn’t really talk about him. How would you explain ‘oh yeah I’ve totally got a soulmate he just lives on the other side of the world and I don’t know where he lives or even what is name is’? Nino knows since she’s known Nino forever but otherwise it’s not exactly common knowledge. Damian of course tells **_no one_**. He already deeply regrets revealing Marinette to the Batfam. He’s made it very clear that Marinette is a **_secret_** and if anyone tells anyone else about her he’ll start stabbing people. ~~The League kills soulmates. Anything good gets taken away~~.

What’s that? Maybe Damian should consider telling Bruce or the others about the giant metaphorical sword hanging over Marinette’s head? Nah. Secrets have kept her alive thus far and besides open communication is for losers.

Life goes on for both of them. Marinette accepts that her soulmate is a secret-keeping jerk. At least he’s not a liar. Damian totally doesn’t pull out his phone at least once a week and think really, really hard about dialing a certain number he’s memorized (and written down exactly once as a precaution against amnesia).

And then comes Hawkmoth.

The fucker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've reached the beginning of something resembling the plot!  
> Woo hoo!
> 
> We're already playing fast and loose with BatCanon, on the ML side of things expect broad strokes canon except for when I arbitrarily change it because it ~~pleases me~~ fits the story better.  
> Fits the story, yeah totally…  
> That's absolutely why
> 
> Also: I know Damian/Marinette tends to be pretty salt heavy so I'm letting you guys know now expect very little salt, if any at all.  
> Except Hawkmoth.  
> The fucker.


	3. A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings, the Eiffel Tower Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's not even a cute send up to the butterfly effect. It's a plot summary of the Origins episodes.
> 
> I'm trying a different formatting look for the quotes. Whichever I decide I like better I'll go back and change the other chapters to match. Because I'm just that kind of person.

Look I firmly believe the Miraculous have some sort of glamour on them that makes everyone put 2 and 2 together and get 5. And any time there’s no way to hide that the answer’s 4 then it makes it so 4 minus 2 equals 3. Because otherwise _literally everyone in the ML universe has less brains than a potato_. _**Collectively.**_

Ipso facto: Glamour. The people of Paris know what Ladybug and Chat Noir look like. The people of Paris know what Ladybug and Chat Noir sound like. They can build statues and paint murals and recognize pictures and audio clips. They can know exactly what their features are. They can recognize them. But they will _never_ connect them if they see those exact same features on Marinette or Adrien. Likewise, if someone sees them and their brain goes ‘oh, Marinette!’ or ‘oh, Adrien!’ they will _never_ connect them to Ladybug or Chat Noir, even if they’re transformed at the time.

Young girl who looks a lot like Ladybug runs into an empty hallway + Ladybug bursts into the scene from that hallway less than ten seconds later = {**~these facts are not connected at all~**}

Adrien looks just like Chat Noir + See? Look at this pic I edited to show him in Chat’s outfit = {**~isn’t it funny how similar these two _completely different people_ are? funny right?~**}

My workaround for the whole Alya recognizing Nino thing is a jumble of the power/effectiveness of the glamour being determined through a combination of the power level of the miraculous, the desire of the holder to remain hidden and the holder’s overall mental strength. Sorry Nino.

This is all a longwinded preface to say Bats and his birds are still as smart and observant as ever but they won’t be able to crack the ML masks. Because ~~plot~~ magic. (Plot magic!)

~^~

Marinette ruins a box full of macarons to help an old man who never figured out the ‘look both ways’ rule of street crossing. She makes a new friend and meets a weird bug-fairy-god thing. Ivan has the most aggressive fail at ‘just suck it up and ask her out’ since the Mad Hatter. Marinette ~~becomes a superhero~~ fails at being a superhero. She can’t do this. She really can’t. Marinette can **not** do this. Chat Noir believes in her but her new partner’s only known her for a day, what does he know? (Can she even call him her partner if she only just met him and she’s planning on giving up the earrings?) Ivan has his encore. Hawkmoth has his grand entrance, extra drama extra queen. Marinette becomes a god damned **superhero.**

So this is her life now.

Neat.

~^~

In between all of that two things happen. 1.) An unknown number calls her at around 2:00 the day of Stoneheart. She ignores it. 2.) Marinette wakes up the day after Stoneheart (aka the day of Stoneheart the Sequel not that she knows that yet) stares very hard at her ceiling and decides for quite possibly the first time in her life not to tell her soulmate something. It’s not lying it’s omission. And not even that much because she’s giving the earrings to Alya and never going to be involved in any of this superhero stuff ever again.

    Marinette: “Yesterday was a trip and a half but I’m fine and at least it’s over.”

There, reassuring in case Damian’s heard about what happened but vague in case he hasn’t. His greeting yesterday didn’t mention anything about Stoneheart or Ladybug or anything so he probably doesn’t know at all. (Oh Mari you sweet naïve little child)

After Stoneheart the Sequel happens school is closed because Paris is new to being a SuperCity and hasn’t yet gotten into the groove of allotting the same amount recovery/gaping at the carnage time as you do for the average smoke break. They’ll learn. Marinette goes home, talks to Tikki and is in her room when Damian greets her.

    Damian in her head: **_“Answer. Your damn. Phone.”_**  
Marinette: [checks phone. 72 calls from yesterday’s unknown number. Wait, 73] “Hello?”  
Damian: “What was even the point of giving me your phone number if you weren’t planning on answering?”  
Marinette: [Marinette’s brain is offline. Damian is calling her. Damian is _calling_ her. Can supervillains warp reality?] “Damian?”  
Damian: [no time for any of this shit] “Tell me you’re unharmed. Stoneheart started his rampage in your school were you anywhere near there when it happened? Did you go after him? Are you alright? Were your parents unharmed? [belatedly] “Did anyone else get hurt?”  
Marinette: “No, everyone’s fine. Well, Officer Roger broke his arm but other than that everyone’s fine. Ladybug’s Miraculous Cure took care of everything else.”  
Damian: “Miraculous… Cure. [frantically mentally planning now that magic has been confirmed] Can the… Cure, not heal people? I saw she took down the Eiffel Tower.”  
Marinette: [muttering] “Of course you saw that. [normal people voice] No it can heal people too. I guess it’s just got a time limit? Or maybe there’s a cause-effect thing to it? I don’t know.” [someone has questions for Tikki now]  
Damian: [dawning realizations] “Were you hurt _before_ the Miraculous Cure?”  
Marinette: [trying frantically to balance her hatred of lying and liars with not telling Damian ‘thrown into a couple walls and off a few monuments’] “Um… A little scraped up?”  
Damian: [preparing to burn the entire world down starting with Hawkmoth] “Noted. And why didn’t you tell me about the supervillain attack?”  
Marinette: “I’ll tell you about when my supervillain encounters if you tell me about yours.”  
Damian: “I live in Gotham. We average three supervillain attacks a week. And that’s not counting all the fainéants trying to make a name for themselves.”  
[Damian then proceeds to interrogate her for another 10 minutes because he’s bad at people. Mari spends the whole time torn between panicking because secret identity and trying to have a real conversation because soulmate]  
Damian: “I have to go. [having this entire conversation on a burner phone that’s now connected to an overcomplicated encryption and message retrieval system] If anything happens call me. If I don’t pick up don’t waste time trying to call me back just leave a message. I’ll get it I promise.” [And then he hangs up no warning because ‘courtesy’ is still a vague concept to him.]  
Dick: [wandering into the cave] “Are you why the cave security was down? What are you looking at?” (We’ve entered a whole new conversation, seamlessly. Look at that transition. Look at it.)  
Damian: [with 7 different monitors open] “None of your concern Grayson.”  
Dick: [looks at monitor #5 where Hawkmoth’s ‘I’m totally not a villain now give me ultimate power’ speech is playing on a loop] “Is the League on this?”  
Damian: “No. It began yesterday [waves at screens 5-7] These are from 3 hours ago.”  
[Ladybug and Chat Noir appear onscreen]  
Dick: “They’re not bad. Are they part of the Titans?”  
Damian: “No.” [sets up three new monitors]  
Dick: “Then why are you so obsessed? And is that the Eiffel Tower? [light clicks on] Does Marinette live in Paris?”  
Damian: [murder glare. Just. Pure murder]  
Alfred: [appearing at the top of the stairs] “Master Damian could you please come upstairs for breakfast now. You’re running late.”  
Damian: “I’m not going to school today.”  
Alfred: *the world’s longest sigh*  
Dick: “Marinette’s city got itself a supervillain.”  
Alfred: “Should I prepare the Batjet?”  
Damian: “Yes.”  
Dick: [at the same time] “No. Locals got it handled.”  
Damian: “ _Untrained, unqualified **children**_.”  
Dick: “I think they’re your age.”  
Damian: “I’ve been trained to kill from birth. Do you really think these two have?” [on screen #2 Ladybug accidently yoyos Chat Noir]  
Bruce: [coming down 3 hours later] “…shouldn’t you be at school?”  
Dick: “Marinette’s city has become a SuperCity.”  
Bruce: “Alfred lock up the Batjet.”  
Alfred: “Already done sir.”

* * *

Remember Adrien? Fluff-haired sunshine child? Marinette’s canon love interest? Well Marinette’s got a soulmate in this universe. Except he’s kind of an asshole and Marinette’s already decided she’ll never be in love with him. Just in time to share an umbrella with a new classmate who’s sweet and kind and has a laugh that’s just–

Yeah.

Marinette tells Damian. Because at least one of them believes in sharing personal details (spoilers, it’s not Damian).

The Batfam had gotten really good at adapting to Damian’s soulbondedness. More than once another member of the Batfam has swooped in or told Damian to pull back coincidentally right before Marinette Time. (Mari is very consistent with the timing of her greetings) Damian claims to hate it but hey it means he never misses Marinette’s greeting, even in the middle of Firefly’s ‘symphony of explosions’. Dami’s always in a better mood after hearing from Mari. Tim loves that part of the night. He calls it the ‘five blissful minutes of Demon Spawn acting like an actual human before he snaps back to normal’. So no one knows what to do when Robin drops back into an interrogation after right Marinette Time just **_raining death from above._**

    Nightwing: [physically pulling Robin off a thug] “I thought I told you to cool off! Red a little help here!”  
Robin: [fucking hissing like an angry cat. But with more knives]  
Red Robin: “Isn’t he supposed to be happier right now?” [gets kicked in the face]  
Nightwing: [did something happen to Marinette?] “Robin maybe you should head back to the cave?”  
Robin: “We’re not done here.”  
Thug: “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know! Anything! Just keep the small angry child away from me!”

~^~

Damian goes… a little insane. With the whole Mari now lives in a SuperCity thing. He hacks _soooo_ many traffic and security cams (Correction. He _continues_ to hack all the traffic cams. And adds to his collection). There’s a dedicated section of the cave monitoring traffic cams, police scanners, news stations and one freakishly accurate amateur cape-chaser blog. (Jason’s calling it now, this Alya’s totally pulling a Tim to get such exclusive videos)

The rest of the Batfam keep up with the Paris scene too. They treat it kinda like a soap opera/reality show. Dami might be the only one who deserves to get hit with the stalker card but the Batfam being who they are, they’re all going to end up just casually knowing just a terrifying amount about everyone. (the night Gordon overhears Spoiler and Red Hood chatting about the lives of random French teenagers the same way most people gossip about the Waynes is one he’d rather forget)

They all keep up with it on their own but if something’s going down and they’re anywhere near the manor they’ll come join Dami. (it leads to a huge uptick of just happening to be at/near home. Bruce is so happy.) While new episodes of As the Butterfly Attacks are always fun Damian’s reactions and running commentary are a good 60% of the entertainment. But Steph’s the only one ~~dumb~~ ~~reckless~~ daring enough to say that out loud.

And while our favorite idiots’ glamours might be going strong this is still a family full of some of the best detectives on earth. It takes all of, oh I don’t know, fiiive minutes for all of them to connect ‘cute girl with pigtails Dami’s age’ with ‘Damian’s soulmate’ {**~and not also Ladybug at all~**}

* * *

Tikki holds about the same opinion about communication As Damian. Because _that’s_ what this whole thing needs: **less** communication. No telling Chat Noir, no telling her parents, no telling Damian. Chat’s easy, they need to stay professional. And anyway she’s not hiding anything. They both know they have other lives outside superheroing. Her parents, they’d freak out if they knew and it would put them in danger. Damian… Ladybug’s the first important thing in her life she’s kept from Damian ever. She might overcompensate by telling him everything else. Just a little. Which means Damian hears a lot about Adrien. A lot.

Tim redubs the minutes immediately following Marinette Time ‘the danger zone’. Jason likens it to patrolling with Two-Face. They confront him on it and he finally yells something like “She’s allowed to like whoever she wants! I don’t care! I just don’t want to _hear_ about it!”

    Dick: “Marinette’s… got a crush?”  
Jason: “Aww… does someone not like listening to girl talk?”  
Dick: “Better get used to it now Little D. It’s only going to get worse as you get older.”  
[Damian has knives. If he happens to lose a sibling oh well]  
Dick: “Little D are you _blushing?”_  
Jason: “Marinette has a crush… and it’s not you.” [Losing a sibling would be a good thing. Thinning the herd] “You’re _jealous_.” [Jason dies first. Jason definitely dies first]  
[Bruce knew what was up from the first outburst and just noped right out of there because he’s done this before and everyone agrees that when it comes to anything resembling relationships Bruce is a flaming wreck who should never be allowed to give out advice ever.]

Bonus

    Damian: [indistinct grumbling] “~And he fences Damian isn’t that just the coolest most badass thing ever?’~ Tt _Fencing_. I’d like to see how pretty boy model does in a _real_ fight.”  
Tim: “The other guy’s a _model?_ ”

* * *

You know that feeling when you’re just going to add a couple lines about a secondary character and instead you end up worldbuilding the fictional impact soulmates would have on a branch on the romance novel industry? Just me?1

Yeah that figures.

Alya has a guilty-pleasure love of ‘love stronger than soulmates’ romance novels, especially ones with a soulbound girl and an unattached guy. So when Mari tells her about her soulmate (you’re supposed to tell a best friend everything, aren’t you? But she can’t tell her about Ladybug, so the soulmate thing’s a good compromise. Shut up, she’s trying.) and her description of him isn’t the most flattering thing (she doesn’t mean to, but Damian’s, well… Damian), coupled with the crush on Adrien, Alya jumps on being wingwoman. She’s completely down with being the wiser more worldly friend who encourages the heroine to defy fate in favor of truly true love!!

(Alya lets Marinette borrow her favorite romance novel. Mari breaks down when she reaches the part where the evil soulmate dies which in turn causes Alya to freak. It’s a good thing Nino’s on hand to calm Mari down/explain things. And that’s how Alya finds out about JMS’s coma. Fun!)

(Any future book loans are thoroughly vetted to assure 100% soulmate survival)

* * *

Meanwhile Dami broods and he analyzes. He has notes on all Ladybug and Chat Noir’s failures. They are **very** comprehensive notes.

Damian’s Marinette alarms are so obsessively comprehensive he beats Ladybug and Chat Noir to finding out about akuma attacks more than anyone who’s on a different continent has any right to.

Most akuma attacks happen in the middle of the day. (11:00-16:00 Marinette time so 5:00-10:00 Dami time) It becomes a common occurrence for Damian to start the day being woken up by his Marinette alarm. He then he gets to sit and brood in complete silence while he watches the fight de jour. (it feels lot like mornings in the League of Assassins felt like – complete silence, isolation and nerve-wracking tension for things he can’t change, having to monitor himself not to speak or risk potentially lethal consequences. Good times)

He refuses to greet Marinette while an attack is happening. What if she’s in the danger zone? What if she gets attacked by evil brainwashed pigeons or shot by an evil cupid or turned into an evil medieval knight or transformed into video game points or– Is Gotham this weird?

Nah.

It also becomes a common occurrence for the Marinette alarm to go off while he’s in school. Education vs Marinette: which do you _think_ wins? He usually restricts himself just blatantly ignoring the teacher and not physically walking out of class. Usually. His teachers are all Gotham veterans. Damian’s not their first Wayne child. Look, just roll with it, it’s easier than fighting _that_ battle every day. If – _if_ – his grades slip then suck it up and call big bad Brucie in so he can blather, otherwise, well at least he’s stopped bringing his sword with him. Mostly.

Midnight Akumas aren’t all that common but they make the _best_ dinner theatre. Damian’s started bringing his phone with him everywhere, including to the dinner table in flagrant disregard for Alfred’s rules. If his Marinette alarm goes off he’ll get up and leave the table, which unless Gotham is mid-explosion you simply _do not do._ No joke, at least half the batfam count braving Alfred’s wrath like that as the bravest thing Dami’s done (and remember, this kid _died_ at _eleven._ )

Everyone else has working self-preservation instincts so they wait until Alfred heaves a bereaved sigh and waves them all off before following.

    Damian: “This is unacceptable. This is the third attack in a row they’ve been late to. Chat Noir nearly missed the last fight entirely! The attack’s been going on for two minutes forty-three seconds and neither of these juvenile charlatans of heroes have arrived yet!”  
Bruce: “They can’t teleport Damian. Even we don’t instantaneously arrive at crime scenes.”  
[maniacal laughter from the monitor screen]  
Tim: “You know you’ve got to feel for Graveyard here. Five double night shifts in a row and then they take away his coffee breaks? I’m just saying I’m pretty sure he’s the one in the right here.”  
Dick: “I think he’d be more in the right if he wasn’t draining the energy of random citizens leaving them in magical comas.”  
Damian: “And now the fight’s woken Marinette up. [making angry notations] It’s inexcusable.”  
Dick: “Oh hey, look! There’s Ladybug!”

* * *

Chat Noir likes to flirt with Ladybug. He’s not in love with her of course he’s not hahaha he’s just flirting because he’s a flirt not because he _loves_ her or anything why are you looking at her like that please stop.

(Look. We’re already playing fast and loose with canon so we’re going to do it _right_. So yes, Chat flirts and he teases and he makes his feelings so blindingly clear that eventually even Mari’s truly impressive quantum denial shield can’t ignore it. **_BUT_** he is respectful about it. Kitty pushes his luck. A lot. But if his Lady ever feels truly uncomfortable she will just simply tell him and he will apologize and pull it all back. And he will remember where those lines are and he will keep away from them. (Because I don’t think what the show thinks it’s saying and what it’s actually saying always line up. So we’re going to do things **right.** ))(I just want them to be friends! With or without the lovesquare all I want is for them to trust each other and actually talk to each other and be _friends!_ )

She’s tells him about her soulmate because just because she can’t tell him who she is doesn’t mean she can’t tell him anything. (And because I’m going to shove as much _actual freaking communication_ into this story as I can. We even have the in au universe excuse of Mari growing up with MMS and knowing what it’s like to have someone keep all the secrets all the time) She keeps it vague; no names, no identifying details. 

She eventually tells him about Adrien in even vaguer terms. Chat’s always respectful about it. Of course he is. This is why she loves him.

Not in love though! Not like she loves Adrien! More like Damian–love than Adrien-love. Adrien’s the only one for her!

Ahem.

…

Meanwhile.

The Justice League’s been keeping an eye on the situation in Paris. Robin’s been hardcore pushing to go in. Because… Bat…reasons? Look the rest of the League’s going to be perfectly honest, they don’t even pretend to understand Gotham reasoning for things. If you want to ask Batman – or god help you Robin himself – about it it’s your funeral. But the French government is very clear on their stance of ‘Superheroes piss off’. Honestly they’d probably try pulling it on Ladybug and Chat Noir themselves if Paris didn’t love them so much and if the French govt. wasn’t less useful against Hawkmoth than a bat made of damp toilet paper. Robin is… less than pleased with this turn of events. This is why the Batjet now lives in the Fortress of Solitude. Along with the Batcopter. And anything capable of cross-continental travel.

Then the entirety of Paris disappears for 1 hour 7 minutes and 2 seconds. Damian counted. 

He calls Marinette the second Paris reappears (in a swarm of magical ladybugs what even is life anymore?). It takes eight calls and 5 minutes 27 seconds for her to pick up. Damian counted.

    Damian: “Are you okay? Are you experiencing any side effects of transdimensional fading? Nothing’s fazing in and out is it?”  
Marinette: “I– Damian?”  
Damian: “Not all the effects are immediately evident. Someone should monitor you for at least 36 hours. No, 48.”  
Marinette: “This is not the number you called me on last time.”  
Damian: “That was a burner.”  
Marinette: “ _What?!?”_  
Damian: “That’s not important you still haven’t answered my questions.”

~^~

Chat Noir just thought it was going to be a quiet night. Meet up with his Lady, go over the fight that afternoon, pull a light patrol, maybe chase each other around the Arc de Triomphe. Relax after the particularly hard akuma that afternoon. Instead he gets an incensed Ladybug ranting about how the phone number her jerk of a soulmate had given her was to a burner phone. Marinette expects a sympathetic ear, maybe some encouragement. Her partner latches on to a completely different part. Of course.

    Chat: “My Lady, do you think we should get burner phones?”  
Ladybug: “What? Nooo. Pfshh why would we need burner phones we’ve got our miraculous communicators and besides secret identities and stuff and no, absolutely definitely not needed absolutely not and I’m not panicking are you panicking is it warm up here all of a sudden?”  
Chat: “But what if we need to get in contact with each other?”  
Ladybug: “Miraculous communicators. Here see, I’ll call you right now.” [Ladybug proceeds to whip out her yoyo and call Chat. Chat doesn’t reach for his baton and it just rings awkwardly while they both stand there listening to it]  
Chat: “But what if we get to get in contact with each other when we’re not transformed? Like if there’s an akuma. [The baton phone is still ringing.] Right now we only find out if we’re nearby or if it makes the news or Ladyblog. [still ringing] Or what if one of us gets a lead on Hawkmoth or needs help with something else or we just need to set up a meet and talk about something? [now it’s ringing and vibrating] We can’t rely on both of us always being in the suits at the right time.”  
Ladybug: “But. Secret identities.”  
Chat: “Ladybug.”  
Ladybug: “But. Secret.”  
Chat: “My lady.”  
Ladybug: “Secret.”  
[The baton has moved on from ringing to saying ‘Ladybug calling pick up Ladybug calling pick up’ in an endless loop in Plagg’s voice. He sounds _very_ annoyed]  
Ladybug and Chat Noir get burner phones.

They buy cheap phones with prepaid minutes that do have cameras but do not have gps. Marinette alters her purse so there’s a hidden inner pocket she can stash it in. She has no clue where Chat puts his. (In the bottom of his cheese stash drawer at home and in the bottom the cheese stash pocket of his bag when he’s out. In Adrien’s defense he’s not wrong in his thinking of no one really wants to go rooting through there.)

(Felix comes the closest to ever finding it but even he just pokes at the drawer, not willing to paw through the layers of apparently calcified cheese in it to the bottom)

Marinette might spend the first night after they buy them staying up staring at the phone painfully aware that she holds an open line of communication to her partner but she can’t and there’s so many things she wants to tell him but she has to protect her identity and anything she says could put that at risk and there’s all this stuff she knows about that he’s not allowed to know about but he’s her kitty and she’s got a line directly to him anytime right there in her hand and _Gaugh!!!_

Marinette suddenly has a lot more sympathy for Damian. Except not because he’s her soulmate and what could he possibly have to worry about her finding out. But anyway, back to the phone in hand. The phone that connects her to Chat who is her partner and possibly the most important person in the world to her except she can’t let herself get closer because they can’t know each other’s identity and–

The next afternoon Marinette gets a very snarky greeting from Damian about her sleeping habits and how she stayed up late enough for her sleep to not actually count as sleep again and it’s stupid and counterproductive to try to embroider when she’s that tired, especially something as intricate as the vines on the newest skirt she’s working on so maybe give it a rest for a day and get some real sleep like a sane person?

Despite Marinette’s worries things do not immediately burst into flames. Chat limits himself to one text at roughly the same time every day. Usually it’s a pun or a funny picture of a cat. He sends them in the morning, possibly, Marinette thinks, first thing after he wakes up. (got it in one!) Marinette is resolutely _not_ thinking about that part.

Other than that though it’s great. They haven’t had to use them yet but just knowing she can call her kitty if she needs to is such a relief. It takes away a burden she hadn’t even realized was there.

~^~

Marinette re-meets an old man who apparently does in fact know how to cross the street properly. She doles out superpowers to her besties – and Chloé. (countdown to this biting them in the ass initiated)

The first time Rena Rouge shows up Damian breaks his phone’s screen. He immediately storms the cave and opens every one of his now 27 ‘Marinette Monitors’. 

    Damian: “Yet another untrained, unqualified child.”

The first time Carapace shows up Damian tries to threaten Supes into giving the batjet back.

    Damian: “He referred Ladybug as ‘Dude’! While in uniform! It’s almost as if whomever is arbitrarily doling out these is purposefully lowering his standards with each new selection.”

And then there’s Queen Bee.

    Damian: “Chloé. Bourgeois.”  
Jason: “Oh shit.”  
Tim: “That’s a bad choice.”  
Damian: **“Chloé. Bourgeois.”**  
Jason: “Did she just–”  
Dick: “Yep.”  
Cass: “Oh Shit.”  
Damian: _“Chloé. Bourgeois.”_  
Steph: “We’re here! We’re here! What’d we miss?”  
Dick: “Chloé was chosen as a holder.”  
Damian: **_“Chloé.”_**  
Barbara: “Oh shit.”  
Dick: “And immediately revealed her identity.”  
Alfred: “Oh my.”  
Damian: “Chloé Fucking Bourgeois.”

* * *

Then Hero Day happens. And Marinette **_kisses_** _Adrien_.

Oh. And Hawkmoth gets himself a partner. Because of course he does. She can make sentimonsters. _Because of course she can._

…

Yaaaay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1Soulmate-themed romances are as you’d imagined a huge thing in romance novels. A smaller but still healthy subsection is the idea of ‘love stronger than soulmates’ aka one who has a soulmate and one who doesn’t. Usually the guy is the one with the soulmate. The main couple usually meet each other either
> 
>   1. When he’s supposed to meet his soulmate for the first time and he mistakes the main character for them
>   2. Immediately before or after he officially becomes engaged to his soulmate
> 

> 
> The ‘official’ soulmate is always a b*tch who hates the main character immediately who gets humiliated by the end. Cue X number of pages of denial, drama and unspoken sexual tension until the love interest storms in and declares he doesn’t care who his soulmate is he only loves her!  
> The genderswitched version is less popular but has a strong niche (especially as a crossover with historical/period romance). The soulmate’s usually a mostly-absent presence until the end of the story. He’s either
> 
>   1. Someone she’s never met/had any real communication with but she still feels obligated to ‘wait for’
>   2. Someone’s she’s never met but is whose arrival is imminent
> 

> 
> If the ‘official’ soulmate is evil, he’ll end up having to be killed, usually by the love interest, often in self-defense. If he’s good, he’ll get to sacrifice himself for the one or both of the main couple. He might even get some last words, usually to give them his blessing.  
> Cue X number of pages of denial, drama and unspoken sexual attraction until the love interest convinces her that damn soulmates she’s supposed to be with him!  
> (Mari’s ‘he’s very private and wouldn’t want me to give out his name’ Magical Jerk Mystery Soulmate fits the ‘asshole soulmate’ character archetype from these types of stories to a T.)  
> (He also fits the ‘mysterious aloof soulmate’ character archetype of the ‘heroine wrongly fights against fate except in the end it turns out the universe knows what it’s doing’ stories to a T too.)
> 
> The advantage of an OutlinePlustm rather than a real story is all the bits of ML plot (and batplot for that matter) that would definitely change but I have no idea _how_ I can just skip over rather than go slowly insane over.


	4. Officially Off the Map

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're continuing our speed run through ML canon. We're burning all the way through canon straight on into the great unknown beyond it. Strap in people

Damian continues to piss off every single member of the League and every liaison ever in his never-ending quest to get himself to Paris. And none of the Batfam ever volunteer any info about why ever. Because Bruce is a shameless information hoarder he and has passed that on to every one of his baby birds. Most people if they’re crazy enough to try ask Nightwing since he’s the ~~safest?~~ ~~friendliest?~~ ~~least actively homicidal?~~ most likely to answer. Dick is also, as previously stated way back in the beginning, _a giant troll._

    **G** : “Hunting instincts. Robins, ladybugs; you know how it is.”  
 **I** : “Self-preservation instincts. Robins, alley cats; you know how it is.”  
 **A** : “He has a giant crush on Ladybug.”  
 **N** : “Representation. All these new heroes fighting alongside Ladybug and Chat Noir and still no birds.”  
 **T** : “He _really_ hates Chat Noir’s costume.”  
 **T** : “He wants to replace Ladybug’s yoyo with a ‘proper’ weapon. I’ve tried telling him it’s magic, he just doesn’t listen.”  
 **R** : “A deep-seated hatred of butterflies.”  
 **O** : “Look, Gotham had the knock-off owl thing first and if Paris won’t respect our copyright claim someone has to go down there and make them.”  
 **L** : “Part of his interactive campaign to change Hawkmoth’s name to Hornworm.”  
 **L** : “I _told_ him not to make that that bet with MultiMouse.”

~^~

Ladybug starts giving out miraculouses like candy. Damian fills seven new notebooks full of ways they’re screwing up in two weeks.

It doesn’t help that Marinette has taken up a new approach to Dami’s burner phone habit.

    Marinette: “Are you dying?”  
Damian: “…No?”  
Marinette: “Is anyone in your family dying? Is Gotham on fire or is the world under attack? Are you in some kind of immediate danger from something?”  
Damian: “Tt. No. [moment of realization] Did something happen?”  
Marinette: “No everything’s fine. Or as fine as it can be with Hawkmoth hanging over everything.”  
Damian: “That’s why I’m calling. I–”  
Marinette: “Is this your real number?”  
Damian: “As I’ve already explained, opening up a permanent line of communication–”  
Marinette: “Great! So we’ve established no one’s dying and the world isn’t about to blow up. In that case I’ll greet you in the morning.”  
[And then she just hangs up like a boss. She strongly considers throwing the phone as far as she can. But she doesn’t since _unlike some people_ this is her real phone. It starts ringing with Damian’s burner number.]  
Marinette: “Have any of the answers to my questions changed in the last 2 minutes?”  
Damian: “No–”  
Marinette: “Goodbye then.” [hangs up.]  
Damian: *some choice swearing he picked up from the League of Assassins*

    Marinette: “Are you dying?”  
Damian: “No and neither are any of my family or the city or the world. No more than usual anyway.”  
Marinette: “Is this your real phone number?”  
Damian: “We’ve already had this discussion about–”  
Marinette: “No _you’ve_ given _your_ ultimatum. This is mine. Until you either trust me with your real phone number or give me a **real** reason why you can't this is how I’m going to answer your phone calls. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t call if something happens, because I remember back when the answer to the ‘are you dying’ question was yes but once I know everything’s okay I’m hanging up. That’s how this is going to go.”  
Damian: “Tt. You’re being ridicu– [Marinette hangs up] –lous.” *some choice swearing he picked up from Jason*

    Marinette: “Are you dying.”  
Damian: _“Your father got akumatized and locked you into a giant tower you’re not allowed to ask that question until you answer it first!”_  
Marinette: “I’m fine. Papa and Maman are fine. Just a little shook up but nothing lasting.”  
Damian: _“Why did your father even get akumatized in the first place!”_  
Marinette: “He was upset that my dating Chat Noir would put me in danger.”  
Damian: **_“Why wasn’t I told you were dating Chat Noir!!!”_**  
Marinette: “Oh. That was a lie to explain why we were embracing on my balcony.”  
Damian: _“Why were you embracing a superhero on your balcony!!!”_  
Marinette: “Is this your real phone number?”  
Damian: [lying through his teeth] “Yes.”  
Marinette: “Has anyone ever told you you’re a really bad liar?” [hangs up]  
Damian: *all the swearing. all of it*

    Bonus:  
Tim walks down into the cave to find Damian destroying his ‘special stabbing bag’. Rather than the usual picture of Adrien (or more recently occasionally of Luka) pinned to it is a picture of Chat Noir.  
Tim: [turning right back around] “Nope.”  
Bruce: “I thought you were going to check on–”  
Tim: “Nope.”  
Bruce: [goes down into the cave.] “Damian. I know you don’t like Marinette’s boyfriends–”  
Damian: “They are **not** her _boyfriends!”_  
Bruce: “–but Chat Noir is a superhero.”  
Damian: _“And he’s not her boyfriend either!!”_  
Bruce: […] [turns around and goes back upstairs] “Nope.”

~^~

And As the Butterfly Attacks is reaching critical mass of ridiculousness.

    Tim: “Are they… rhyming? And dancing?”  
Dick: “I kinda like it. Keeps the fights fun, ya know?”  
Tim: “I’m getting Music Meister flashbacks.”  
Damian: _“If you can’t come up with rhymes without stopping to think every time you open your mouth then just **don’t talk**. Honestly, don’t they have any form of handsigns worked out?”_

    
    Jason: “Ha! That marks the third appearance Big-ass Baby!”  
Tim: “Gigantitan.”  
Jason: “No one cares, Replacement. Hey old man! Pay up! Big-ass Baby’s the first akuma to reach triple threat!”

    Jason: “Called it! I told you Undine had a crush on Kim!”  
Tim: “You ever consider we’ve gotten a little too overly emotionally invested in the lives of teenagers?”  
Dick: “Nah. For this family? This is almost healthy.”  
Jason: “You’re just pissed you were wrong.”  
Tim: “ _I totally got Nathaniel and Marc. You didn’t hear me bragging about it.”_  
Damian: “…ran off halfway through the fight… obviously never used them before… no previous preparation for alternate terrains…”

    Dick: “We’ve got an even dozen Mr. Pigeon sightings!”

    [reflectdoll appears on screen]  
Steph: “Aw man not another rerun. I’m out.”  
Tim: “Wait no, Steph come back it’s a power swap episode! It’s a power swap!!”  
Steph: [sprints back in] _“ohmygodwhat!”_  
Cass: [appears with a giant bowl of popcorn]  
Dick: [leaning over Cass’s shoulder stealing popcorn] “Jaybird’s going to be so pissed he missed this.”  
Damian: “Do you mean to tell me they’ve never practiced with each other’s powers before!? Exactly how stupidly negligent are they!”

    Steph: “Pigeon Party!! [hits a button a releases fake feathers over everyone] Mr. Pigeon’s officially hit two dozen!”  
Damian: “…I give up.”

* * *

    

On the Paris side of things Marinette realizes Kagami isn’t just her love rival but has the possibility of being a really good friend. (yes please. This girl needs friends. She’s even less socialized than Adrien and he lives with a literal supervillain) And Luka’s around more all of a sudden. Smiling and playing his guitar and making all these beautiful and romantic declarations and generally being all… what was she saying again?

    

Lila comes back. That’s a thing that happens. She’s a lying sociopath. That’s also definitely a thing. Marinette… tries her best to _not_ tell Damian about all that. Not _lie_ , just… downplay. Excessively. Look, when Nathaniel got akumatized because of his crush on her Damian suggested everything from a very aggressively enforced restraining order to floating something that sounded like he was testing the waters for her opinion on assassinations. She does **not** want to see what he’d do with someone who was intentionally attacking her. Lila may be a liar and kind of evil but that doesn’t mean Marinette wants her _dead._ Besides, Damian would go crazy, being in another country and not being able to do anything about it. Best not to let him know too much about it. (Damian totally knows. He is in fact going crazy being in a different country where he can’t stab her. So long as it was non-lethal the rest of the Batfam would probably look the other way when he did so. As it is Lila’s digital life is constantly in shambles, every account she has keeps getting hacked, she keeps getting subscribed to all these stupid services – self-help, how to stop lying, what to do if you’re a horrible person, world’s smelliest foods, neon patterned socks, ‘it doesn’t matter if you’re ugly’ self-care, bobbleheads of serial killers – all of which cost money, she hasn’t been able to keep a phone or laptop for more than three weeks before it gets a virus and dies. And her mom keeps getting better and better job offers in worse and worse places – last one was a research station on an island 100 miles from any other humans)

    

And hey, that countdown to Chloé biting them in the ass?

3

2

1…

~^~

There’s a lot to unpack in that season 3 finale isn’t there? So there are some parts I already _know_ I’m absolutely changing. But That doesn’t mean I won’t discover something new I want to change with it. I reserve the right to continue to change and/or ignore anything from the canon later.

For now, the definitive changes/clarifications are:

**Chloé keeps the bee miraculous and Marinette keeps Pollen.**

Ladybug steals the bee miraculous off Chloé before Master Fu transfers the Guardian title. Which means Pollen is out of the clip when all the free Kwamis get sucked into the box. Chloé then fights rather than standing there shucking miraculouses and waiting for Ladybug to take her hair clip. So instead we get something like a dodge fight where Ladybug keeps plucking miraculous off Chloé. Right near the end Chloé does something stupid which forces Ladybug to catch her. Chloé yoinks the bee miraculous back and books it out of there.

We know from the first season miraculous don’t work if their kwamis aren’t nearby. (Nooroo and Duusu are probably under ‘do not run’ orders) Pollen now has instructions from the brand-new Guardian not to return to her miraculous until they get it back.

Ladybug (and Chat, mostly as Adrien) keeps doing raiding missions looking for the clip but can’t find it. We have a stand-off.

**Being the Guardian does not automatically mean you lose your memory when you give it up.**

Because No. We are not saying Marinette will one day lose her whole life from age 13 to age ? because that is awful.

Master Fu chose to erase his memories in addition to giving up guardianship as extra security.

**Hawkmoth and Mayura only got a partially translated copy of the grimoire.**

Because I think we can agree that the guy who got his entire temple eaten because he wanted a midnight snack might not have been the _best_ guardian around?

**Fu had two copies of the grimoire.**

One with the translations he’d worked out that Mayura grabbed and one untranslated copy which Marinette has. Guardianship gave her the ability to read it and now she needs to retranslate everything.

**The peacock miraculous is only _partially_ fixed.**

Only a Guardian can fix miraculouses. That’s my headcanon and you can claw it out of my cold dead hands. But the partially translated grimoire they grabbed didn’t say that so Gabriel, lord of hubris that he is, thinks he totally completely fixed it. Go him! (Fuck Hawkmoth.)

**Ladybug called Chat on their burner phones right away so Adrien left Kagami to go help.**

The entire love triangle is a good two steps further back than how canon left it.

Ladybug still picked Kagami because Kagami’s awesome. (oh, and Hawkmoth hasn’t figured out Ryuko’s identity {**~because glamour~**})

**Chloé doesn’t know the identity of the other miraculous holders.**

Akumatized people don’t remember bupkis so she doesn’t remember who they are. For now I’m saying Hawkmoth does know though because I think it could be fun.

* * *

So now we’re in post-canon. Here be monsters.

Marinette is dealing with

  * Damian being a secretive jerk
  * Luka being…unfairly distracting
  * Lila being a manipulative bitch
  * Chloé being a _literal supervillain_
  * **Still** not being able to confess to Adrien



Meanwhile Ladybug is dealing with

  * The multiple supervillains still constantly attacking Paris
  * Learning how to be the next guardian
  * Chat’s continued feelings for her even if he trying (failing) to keep them on the down-low
  * Juggling the ‘on-call’ heroes and the danger of Hawkmoth knowing their secret identities
  * Keeping _everything_ from Chat, her **_partner_**



Which makes her feel in turns like a secretive jerk, a distraction, a manipulative bitch, and on occasion _worse_ than a supervillain.

Mari kind of hates life right now.

Just a bit.

The Marinette problems are… okay.

  * She’s already handling Damian
  * Luka is a friend no matter what, she can focus on that
  * Lila is a pain but she’s got Adrien in her corner. Plus while her friends are still being idiots about realizing Lila’s evil, they’re still solidly her friends. Take that Lila’s empty threats!
  * Chloé… is really more of a Ladybug problem. She’s _busy_ okay? She’s allowed to sidestep!
  * um… well…. She’s working on it.



Ladybug’s problems?

  * The supervillains are just a constant at this point
  * So that’s… happening. It’s um… a thing. It’s definitely… that.
  * Well at least the thing with Chat’s feelings is easy. Chat’s a friend first and for all he might flirt and tease and push he never steps over the line and always has her back and is her **_partner_**. No matter what. That just leaves the lingering guilt and the little flickers of attraction for Chat which Ladybug _absolutely in no way has_. _None._ (riiight…)
  * The other heroes, um… she…weelll… yeah.
  * the secrets–



You know what? Supervillains. Hawkmoth. She’s going to focus on him. They’ve really been a problem for way to long and anyway she can always come back and deal with the other stuff later she should really be focusing on Hawkmoth anyway so it absolutely makes sense to start there. Totally.

She’s had her suspicions about Gabriel Agreste for a long time. And yes Gabriel’s been akumatized and that caused her to drop it at the time but there have been multiple Marinettes running around multiple times now. Plus he has a partner. Or hell, even a butterfly net attached to a spring release and an egg timer. Point being, time to circle back around to that.

Marinette starts digging. She repurposes her old, now unused Adrien-schedule-tracker to organize her Gabriel findings. She goes full red string crazy wall. The results are… well they’re not a slam dunk but they are definitely **not** nothing. And that’s worrying.

( ~~Don’t tell Chat Don’t tell anyone what if you’re wrong what if you’re right, what if he finds out because you told someone Don’t tell Chat you’re the guardian you’re Ladybug this is your duty you have to do this alone Don’t tell Chat Don’t tell Chat Don’t tell your partner–~~ )

**Fuck. That.**

Marinette tells Chat.

    Ladybug: “I think I know who Hawkmoth is. And this time I have proof. Sharable proof.”  
Chat: “Great, who?”  
Ladybug: “Gabriel Agreste.”  
Chat: “haha what.”  
…  
“No.”  
“Yes.”  
 **“No.”**  
 **“Yes.”**

So that goes… less than well. Chat flat-out refuses to believe her. He snaps at her and gets defensive and almost – _angry_ – whenever she brings it up. Marinette doesn’t understand. Kitty didn’t react like that _last_ time she accused Gabriel of being extra evil. Sure he acted weird when they thought Gabriel was worse than normal but not actively hostile. Then again he did only have to entertain the idea of Gabe being a supervillain than just a normal grade asshole for like an hour and a half, maybe it just takes longer to sink in?

He’s still her partner in akuma fights but it’s strained. There’s a fight just waiting to boil over. Even the **akumas** start to notice. Which means the villains notice.

Like sharks scenting blood.

To make matters even ~better~ Adrien starts acting weird at school. Broody and distracted and withdrawn and no one has any clue why. (have you considered spectacularly crappy parental figures? or does that just get skipped over since it’s a constant?)

Mari hates her life.

    Chat: “You don’t understand. Gabriel Agreste can’t be Hawkmoth. He’s tried to kill me.”  
Ladybug: “Gabriel’s tried to kill me too you know.”  
Chat: “No he hasn't! Hawkmoth has!”  
Ladybug: “Gabriel _is_ Hawkmoth.”  
Chat: “No he isn’t!”  
Ladybug: “Why?”  
Chat: _“Because he’s tried to kill me!!”_

So Marinette’s life is in shambles. And Ladybug’s is even worse. And maybe she’s a _little_ stressed. And maybe the next time Damian calls on yet another **_goddamn_** _burner phone_ Marinette just –

Snaps.

Just a little.

And maybe she spends a solid half hour ranting at him about how much of an asshole and control freak he is and how being soulmates is a _partnership_ and they’re _equals_ with each other and he has _no right_ to keep secrets or make decisions for the both of them (sheesh Mari, projecting much?). And maybe at some point she transitions to yelling about the three months he was in a coma (not there’s a breakdown a long time coming). About how he just stopped greeting her and she didn’t know why – he was just gone and she didn’t know anything she didn’t even know his _name_ he was gone and then he was back but he had been gone _do you understand that Damian, you were **gone** and I was **alone** and what if it happened again I wouldn’t know anything **again** all I have is the stupid number for a stupid burner phone and no way to find out anything or if you were alright or if– if–_ And maybe she breaks down crying into the phone. Maybe.

The details are unimportant. What is important is just when Marinette – sniffling, embarrassed and exhausted – is about to hang up Damian interrupts her with his phone number. And his brother’s phone number. And his other brother’s phone number. And his other other brother’s phone number. And his father’s phone number. And the emergency number.

(And maybe, just maybe, Marinette hangs up and dials Damian’s real phone number. And maybe Damian _answers._ )

Maybe.

Marinette starts calling Damian every few days. The same number each time. Damian always answers.

Those calls become a refuge, something she can hold onto whenever everything else around her is trying it’s best to fall down. And Damian himself is something she’d never even imagined. He’s overly formal and arrogant and rude, sometimes without even meaning to because it never occurs to him to act like anything else. He always has to be in control and he’ll cut her off or redirect the conversation or talk over her and he can be absolutely infuriating when he thinks he knows better than everyone else. But he’s also sweet. And painfully shy at times. He’s stumbling and uncertain, something Marinette would never have thought to describe him before. It makes her think of the little boy she used to wait up for, whose French was always perfect, who almost never greeted _her_ but never forgot a single thing, and who used to ask her quiet, faltering questions in languages he knew she didn’t understand (who still does, sometimes).

He has a cat and a dog and a cow and he practically dotes on them. He has a hard time understanding kids his age but won’t say he’s lonely because he was raised to see other people as weaknesses. He loves his brothers even if he won’t admit it possibly even to himself. He wants his father to be proud of him. He sometimes wishes he didn’t still love his mother. He needs her daily greetings as much as she needs his.

~^~

Things with Chat are not getting better.

The villains keep getting harder and Ladybug and Chat’s partnership keeps getting even more strained and Chat keeps getting more upset until he almost gets akumatized from it. (Don’t worry. He wouldn’t really. If Chloé can fight them off you can bet Adrien can. Or he’d just have Plagg eat them.) She should have stayed a secretive jerk.

Marinette starts relying even more on her calls with Damian; they become her emotional touchstone. _Damian_ becomes her touchstone; a living safe haven.

That fight? The one just waiting to boil over? It boils over.

There’s an akuma, they create voids, Ladybug and Chat Noir get caught in one. It’s okay, this is a team fight, not just a partner one. (and you can be damn sure whoever Mari dragged along is 110% painfully aware they’re here as a referee oh god will mom and dad please stop fighting the kids are getting worried) Anyway. They’re stuck. Gabriel gets brought up. Again. Chat gets snippy. Again. Ladybug gets frustrated. Again. Chat starts yelling. Again. Ladybug starts yelling back. Again. Chat outs himself. Ag– Wait.

    Ladybug: “Gabriel is totally Hawkmoth!”  
Chat: “No he’s not!”  
Ladybug: “I have evidence!”  
Chat: “Well I have denial!”  
Ladybug: ‘Why won’t you listen to me!”  
Chat: “BECAUSE MY FATHER IS NOT HAWKMOTH!!!”  
Ladybug:…  
Chat:…

Ladybug’s pretty sure they win. She doesn’t really remember how but there’s a butterfly and someone pressing a lucky charm into her hands and a swarm of ladybugs so something must have happened. When the ladybugs dissipate Chat’s not there to fist bump. He’s already run off.

Mari blows off calling Damian for the first time ever. She doesn’t have to worry about what to greet Damian with: she gets _no_ sleep.

She spends all of the next day watching Adrien. She walks into 27 walls. Alya is starting to get _really_ worried. Nino’s already been worried. His bestie’s gone from ‘bad week’ to ‘basket case’.

An akuma attacks.

Ladybug goes out alone.

(Is recruiting someone else a betrayal to Chat? Is not recruiting someone else a betrayal to Ladybug? Mari’s mind is one part massively overthinking and one part completely shut down except bare minimum auto-pilot. In the end nothing gets done.)

Chat is not there to help her. Ladybug is alone and off her game and this particular akuma likes to taunt.

…

Great.

Just as things start looking really bad Chat launches onto the scene, flying-tackling the akuma before they can reach Ladybug.

    Chat: “Sorry for being so late My Lady!”

Teamwork saves the day. Akuma goes down, random civilian released from their involuntary destruction therapy session. Ladybug and Chat are left standing there, fists decidedly unbumped.

They end up agreeing to recharge and meet at one of their usual hidy-roofs. Ladybug gets there first followed by Chat a second later.

Adrien’s ~~not~~ ready. He’s ~~not~~ okay. It’s what needs to be done. It’s a horrible idea to have the ring so close to Gabriel anyway, regardless of whether he’s actually Hawkmoth, it always has been. Adrien is watched and monitored and controlled so much, getting away to fight has always been a struggle. Ladybug needs a Chat she can trust. Not the son of who she thinks is a supervillain. He can ~~not~~ handle this. He’s sure the next Chat will be ~~better~~ great. (oh Adrien, you dear sweet idiot you.)

    Chat: “I’m sorry My Lady.”  
Ladybug:[deep breath, still partially on autopilot] “Next time don’t be late.”  
Chat:[…What?] (Dear. Sweet. _Idiot._ )

Right so Chat Noir is Adrien and Ladybug knows that now and Adrien is Chat Noir and there’s a pretty big chance 66% of the people he lives with are actively evil. They should talk about that. They should definitely, absolutely talk about that.

    Ladybug: “So my soulmate finally gave me his real phone number.”

Avoidance is healthy, right?

They spend the rest of the night talking about Ladybug’s soulmate and what he’s like now that she gets more than a couple sentences every day and at no point at all do they talk about Adrien’s identity or Hawkmoth’s.

Totally healthy.

Chat and Ladybug spend the night stitching their relationship back together. By the time dawn breaks they’ve both exhausted their emergency kwami food supplies, gotten no sleep and are on the way to healing.

Congratulations. You two emotional dumpster fires managed to make avoidance a valid emotional choice. (I can’t believe I’m saying this but Damian might be the emotionally stable and balanced one here. Relatively.)

~^~

There’s still tension. They’re better but– There is still tension. I mean we haven’t solved the Gabriel problem. Or the Nathalie problem. Which is really just the Gabriel problem 2.0. Avoidance is not actually a valid problem-solving strategy. Even if they can’t solve the Gabriel part of the Gabriel problem yet they can at least do something. Anything.

There. Is. Tension.

You know what breaks tension really well?

Assassins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.  
> Assassins.  
> …  
> Well this will end just perfect I’m sure.


	5. NIGHT OF THE NINJAS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When ninjas from a secret death cult have come to kill you is it too much to ask for the ninjas to be your biggest problem?  
> I mean, apparently, yeah.
> 
> Unlike the last couple of chapters, which have speedrun through the actual plot with lots of fun little detours now we’re slowing down for a bit. This whole chapter is less than one night and even has some real-people type prose writing there at the end.

We return you now to the bats and birds side of this story. But not in Gotham.

With the League of Assassins.

Y’all remember them?

Great! Now repeat their stance on soulmates with me.

* * *

Talia finds out that her bouncing baby boy has a soulmate. Someone lets something slip in front of her when she drops into town with a small army of ninja to ‘check in’ on the Batfam. Probably Jason makes a smartass remark. Or maybe Tim cracks a joke about the ‘danger zone’. Or maybe Dick is a little too honest calling Damian back from the fight right before Marinette Time. Or hell, maybe Bruce just flat out says something.

Because the Bats keep secrets like a black hole. But – _and this is important_ – **they don’t realize Marinette’s a secret to keep.**

Talia for all her filicidal flaws is still Damian’s mother. She raised him. It’s one thing to keep a soulmate a secret when you’re a ten-year-old murderbot it’s another thing entirely when you’re two and just learning to speak. They don’t know about little Damian desperately hiding everything.

And they let something slip.

Because family communication is for losers.

…

~Yaaaaay~

Damian finds out and **_Flips His Shit._** The Batfam learns how the League of Assassins handle soulmates. Everyone flips their shit.

Damian calls Marinette.

Damian: **_“Marinette.”_**  
Dick in background: “You have her phone number?!”  
Damian: “You are in grave, immediate danger. Assassins are after you. You know Chat Noir, find him. Right now. Do not go anywhere without him or Ladybug. I’m coming to Paris immediately. Do not do anything until I arrive”  
Dick in background: “How long have you had that for?!”

Damian is going to Paris. He will steal a plane. He will blackmail Superman for a superlift. He will break into the Justice League headquarters and hijack their teleportation tech. He is going if he has to fucking swim there.

Oh, foreign heroes still aren’t welcome in France? Still fucking going. He’d draw too much attention as either Robin or Damian let alone both? Too fucking bad. Hawkmoth literally controls people based on strong negative emotion and Damian’s a little homicidally unhinged right now so maybe it’s not the best idea to drop himself into the literal epicenter of his control? Oh Fucking Well!

~^~

Damian gets into an every-way screaming argument with every one of his family about who’s going and how.

Civilian identities are out. It’ll be hard enough to explain the ninjas at all without further explaining their ability to hold their own against them. One bat can get in and operate fine. Two maybe but it would be a definite push. Three or more straight no. So only one of them, masked up.

Screaming match part deux.

Damian wins.

Batman breaks out a class 33A level emergency and gets the jet back from Supes in two minutes flat. The good one with the cloaking tech and all the goodies. Birdy’s going to be going in hot.

This is probably a bad idea.

Right after Damian takes off Mari calls on the emergency line.

Marinette: “So… Ninjas.”  
Chat in the background: “It’s fine!”  
Damian: [I can absolutely cannibalize the plane I’m sitting in midflight to make it faster.] “Assistance will arrive within six hours.”  
Chat in the background: [nervously] “ _Cutting_ right to the _point_ , aren’t you?” [crashing sounds] [ _super_ nervously] “Oh. Wow. Those blades are uh… sharp.”  
Damian: [why bother having redundancy safety features when you can turn them into more thrusters] “Five hours.”  
Tim: “Paris is going to end up a smoking crater.”  
Dick: [my brother is going to _die_ ] “Little D, please think about what you’re doing.”  
Tim: “Do you think Ladybug’s ladybug swarm’ll be able to fix it?”  
Jason: [gleeful] “Nope.”

~^~

Robin thought he was going to be seeing Marinette. So he planned accordingly. Robin has a voice changer on he hastily slapped together, made in (and out of) the plane. The thing about voice-changing tech is that it works best with a mask that covers more than, you know, eyes. Like maybe his, oh I don’t know, mouth. He looks stupid.

Robin: “Where is Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” [wow Dami, rude much? Not even a hello?]  
Ladybug: “Hidden. Safe. I’m the only one who can get to her. The assassins won’t be able to find her.” (so long as she’s transformed, technically true)  
Robin: “But _where?”_  
Ladybug: Safe.  
Robin: But **_where?”_**  
Chat: “Hey don’t look at me. Princess’s location is a Ladybug-only secret.”  
Ladybug: “Do you want to expose her to the ninjas everywhere!?”

Oh yeah, ninjas. They’re a thing. A lot right now.

Ninja attack.

~^~

Damian is dangerously unhappy. His angel’s life is in danger, Mother’s personal ninjas are here, Marinette is **not** here, Ladybug won’t tell him where Marinette is, Chat’s puns are worse than Grayson’s, Damian’s stupid apparently pointless voice-changer is blocking his range of motion and there’s a fucking butterfly floating above them distracting his ‘‘‘‘partners’’’’ from what’s really important.

Robin: [takes voice changer off and CHUCKS it at the nearest ninja, yelling swears so foul the ninja who’d accidently taught them to him had been beheaded]  
Ladybug: [promptly falls off the roof]  
Robin: “I’m working with children.”

Well. That’s one way to introduce yourself to your soulmate. (None of _those_ words were covered in Mari’s Arabic lessons.)

Marinette’s freaking out.

On the upshot ninjas being after her makes a bit more sense now. So many things make a bit more sense actually, most of them having to do with Damian.

Ninjas. Still here. Still a problem.

Avoidance Powers Activate!!

~^~

And Now, **Masked Idiot Theatre** and **Miraculous Birdbrain Archives** Present a Collaborative Exhibition:

#  THE NIGHT OF THE NINJAS

Scene – The street  
[a ninja goes flying through the air. He smacks into an electronic Adrien (the fragrance) ad-sign, breaking it.]  
Ladybug: [stares at smoking, now ninja infused pillar] “Um… Did you mean to hit– Nah I’m imagining things.”  
[The pillar sputters and dies. Robin smirks]  
Chat: “Ye-owch. [shrugs] Eh, can’t say I ever liked that ad.”

Scene – Plaza staircase  
Chat: [beep beep beep goes the plot ring] “Guess it’s break time!”  
Ladybug: “Cool, meet us by the museum!”  
Robin: “Not “cool”. Do you always take breaks halfway through a fight?”  
Ladybug: “When we need to. Magic. No real choice.”  
Robin: “Tt.”

Scene – Outside the Louvre, surrounded by ninjas  
[Robin’s katana goes flying]  
Chat: “Don’t suppose you have a spare?”  
Robin: “I can make one.” [smashes the glass pyramid into a million razor-sharp pieces]  
Chat: “Well that… works?”  
Cultural Treasure Count – 1

Scene – A rooftop  
Robin: [glaring at billboard of Adrien. It’s a miracle the thing hasn’t lit on fire]  
Chat: “My Lady did you tell him your theory?”  
Ladybug: [every gushing thing she’d ever told Damian about Adrien flashing before her eyes] “No…”  
Chat: “oh shit do you think he figured it out?”  
Robin: [muttering] _“~and he fences, isn’t that the coolest most badass thing ever?~”_  
Ladybug: [The time she spent seven consecutive days’ worth of greetings describing his eyes. With metaphors] “I… [The poem she wrote about his arms.] don’t think so.” [ _The time she described the smell of his hair_ ]  
Chat: “Does he hate me? Is my glamour broken? Did telling you my identity break it?  
Robin: _“~ emeralds came to life and decided to smile.~”_  
Ladybug: [oh god kill me now]  
Butterfly: “Oh is that my cue?”  
Ninja: “Actually it’s mine.”

** Fun Factoid the First! **

Robin hates Adrien Agreste. Like really hates him. Really _really_ hates him.

Adrien’s freaking out now too. Yay! Damian’s managed to unnerve and/or unbalance the entire first and last line of defense in a SuperCity in under four hours! Good job you!

Scene– The park  
Ladybug: [beep beep beep go the plot earrings] “See you soon!”  
Robin: “The ninjas are _that_ way!”  
Chat: “Magic. It’s fine!”  
Robin: “No it’s not!”

Scene – The Eiffel Tower  
Ladybug: “I have a plan. Gentlemen, who wants to be bait and who wants to take the Tower down?”  
Chat: “Been there, done that, let’s let the tourist take the tower.”  
Cultural Treasure Count – 2

Scene – A balcony  
Chat: [beep beep beep goes the plot ring] Gotta go!  
Robin: “Again!?!”  
Ladybug: “Magic. Don’t worry about it!”  
Robin: “Oh I’m absolutely worrying.”

Scene – A residential neighborhood  
Nino: “Dude! Are those _ninjas?”_  
Ladybug: “Get back inside Nino!”  
Chat: “Actually… you’re still dating Alya, right?”  
Nino: “Yeah.”  
Chat: “Great. Can you call her and ask her to put out a stay at home order on the ladyblog?”  
Nino: “Totally. I guess that explains the butterfly I saw flying by a few minutes ago.”  
Ladybug and Chat: _“What? Where!?”_

** Super Secret the Second! **

Ladybug and Chat are the most distracted, undisciplined, pathetic excuse for heroes Robin’s ever met. Ladybug keeps staring at him and startling every time Damian opens his mouth. Which makes giving orders really, _really_ hard. And Chat Noir is so nervous he’s ready to jump out of his stupid leather catsuit. (and no, he does not care what Marinette’s said, the catsuit does not look good. Nor does it show off his arms. Or his ass.) And they both keep getting distracted by every stray butterfly and feather that floats by.

Butterfly: “Does that mean I get to do something?”  
Robin: “PISS OFF!!”  
Butterfly: “Icanseeyou’rebusyI’llcomebacklaterbye!”

Scene – Arc de Triomphe  
Chat: “Cataclysm!”  
Cultural Treasure Count – 6

Scene – A rooftop  
Ladybug: [beep beep beep go the plot earrings!] “Brb!”  
Robin: “Stop that!!”  
Chat: “It’s magic. Ma–gic. Do we have to _spell_ it out for you?”  
Robin: [feral growl]  
Butterfly: “Is it my turn?”  
Ninja: “Nope. Still mine.”

Scene – The Catacombs  
Chat: “Great. Creepy catacombs full of ninjas. And now a _dead_ end.”  
Ladybug: “Focus kitty.”  
Robin: “Collapse it.”  
Chat: “I– what?”  
Robin: “Cataclysm the floor. We can escape and the resulting structural instability will bury our pursuers alive behind us.”  
Ladybug: …  
Chat: …  
Robin: [pulls out explosives] “Fine. I’ll do it myself.”  
Cultural Treasure Count – 10

** True Trivia the Third! **

Robin is an asshole.

Since he arrived he’s yelled profanity at the ninjas, insulted both her and Chat Noir, ignored all of her suggestions, barked orders at them, complained about them being distracted while taking time to stop and destroy every picture of Adrien he’s seen, and scowled a butterfly into submission. (okay, maybe that last one was kinda useful)

Whew! That’s a relief. All those weeks of deep, emotionally vulnerable conversations had started to distract Marinette from that fact. Always good to regain perspective.

Robin: [muttering in Arabic] “stupid, impulsive, immature… …don’t know who thought he should… …at least Ladybug has _some_ brains even if… …no right to wield power like…”  
[Oh. You did not. Congratulations Robin. It takes effort to completely piss off Ladybug. But you did it.]  
Ladybug: [in completely flawless Arabic] “It’s considered rude to insult one’s teammates, even temporary ones. Particularly when you’re a guest in their city.”

** Fantastic Finding the Forth! **

~~Ladybug speaks Ara –~~ WHY THE FUCK DOES LADYBUG KNOW ARABIC?!?! AND WHY HADN’T HE KNOWN THAT BEFORE!!! HE’D TOLD ONE NINJA TO–

Father can never know. Scratch that. _Alfred_ can never know.

Marinette. Marinette can _never_ know.

Ladybug: [still in Arabic because she can be _vindictive_ when she wants to] “I’m pretty sure most of what you suggested to that ninja isn’t anatomically possible. But I’m not the best at Arabic. Maybe I should ask Mlle Dupain-Cheng. I hear she speaks it.”  
Robin: [oh god why]

Scene – Musée d’Orsay  
Ladybug: “Miraculous Ladybug!”  
Robin: “Why did you do that!”  
Ladybug: “Me? You set the museum on fire!”  
Robin: “And now _you’ve_ healed all of our opponents. Now we have to fight them all again except with our energy reserves depleted. Can’t you control that swarm of yours better?”  
Chat: “Uh, we tend to fight brainwashed _civilians_. Healing our opponent afterwards is usually a good thing?”  
Robin: “I’m setting it on fire again.”  
Ladybug and Chat: “NO!”  
Butterfly: “Yes!”  
Cultural Treasure Count – 31,472

Scene – A residential neighborhood  
[a ninja goes sailing through the air]  
Alya: “Is the akuma attack still going? Was that a ninja and OhmygodisthatRobinthat’stotallyRobinwhatareyoudoinghereohmygodI _have_ toblogthis!”  
Robin: [takes phone] [smashes it in half]  
Ladybug: “Lucky Charm! Miraculous Ladybug! [fixes phone] You know foreign heroes aren’t allowed in France. We need you to not record or post anything about this.”  
Alya: “Then why–” [a second ninja comes flying through the air. Robin throws a smoke bomb at them]  
Robin: “That.”  
Ladybug: “Please Alya. I know you can keep a secret.” (wink wink nudge nudge)  
Alya: “I– yeah. Of course I can.”  
Ladybug: “Good.” [beep beep beep go the plot earrings] “Here.” [hands back phone and yeets away]  
Robin: “What did she mean by ‘I know you can keep a secret’?”  
Alya: “Sorry a secret is a secret. Unless you wanna tell me why the ninjas.”  
Robin: [takes phone] [smashes it in half]  
Ladybug: “Okay I’m ba– Seriously? Lucky Charm! Miraculous Ladybug! [fixes phone] No. Bad bird.”  
Robin: [takes phone] [smashes it in half]  
Ladybug: [in Arabic] “Do we need have another talk about manners?”

The night is spent in a battle tug-of-war, neither side clearly winning. Then the ninjas pull back.

Chat: “That’s a… good thing, right?”  
Robin: “No it is not.”  
___: “And here I thought all that time around your father’s riffraff would have taught you some measure of competence in managing incompetents.”  
Robin: “It’s a very bad thing.”  
Talia: “Hello son.”

~^~

Talia’s here! And just for extra special added fun this confrontation is definitely 100% taking place in the bakery. (where are Tom and Sabine in all this you ask? Ladybug totally secreted them away sometime between the first ninja and Robin showing up.)

~^~

Batman has a rule: No killing. Stop. Done. That’s it. No killing, cut, dry, print, that’s a wrap.

That’s Batman’s rule and he lives and breathes it.

But the baby birds all know that sometimes the rule can be bent. Sometimes life goes ‘haha Nope’ and they have to. Sometimes they don’t have to. Sometimes they’ve choosen to break it. (Jason. Red Hood. Heads in a duffle bag) The baby birds all know that if push comes to shove and they come back to the cave with blood on their hands, when Bruce has been faced with love verses principle, so far love has always won out in the end. (and they all know every time they return to the cave with blood on their hands they run the risk that this time love will lose)

Damian Wayne follows his father’s rules.

But Talia is here and Marinette is in danger so if he must he will revert back to his mother’s. Mercy is a weakness never show weakness never leave your enemy alive. _~~she is perfect and good and he **will not lose her**~~_

Damian al Ghul lifts his sword.

Ladybug: “Son!?! That’s your _mother?!”_

Oh. Right. He’s not alone. He can’t afford to fight his mother’s forces and his supposed allies. Guess that puts a kibosh on the killing everyone thing for now.

~^~

Marinette’s definitely freaking out.

Well the ninjas being after her makes **a lot** more sense now. So many things make **a lot** more sense actually, most of them having to do with Damian. _~~He’s killed someone think about how young he must have been~~_

_OhMyGodDamian’sMotherWantsToKillMe. SheWantsToKillMeBecauseI’mHisSoulmate._

Oh god she thought Damian being _Robin_ was life-changing information.

~^~

You know all those ninjas that bugged out before Talia showed up? They’re back now.

Right so Robin’s got a look on his face that in Adrien’s animes usually immediately precedes a murderous rampage and Ladybug’s freaking out. That just leaves Chat… against the army of ninja assassins… and their terrifying leader.

Kitty **_steps up._**

Chat: [launches himself off the wall to cannonball into a giant knot of ninjas] “Can I _cut_ in? [flips a ninja over his shoulder, ducking under another and sweeping out his legs] So. I hear you fellas are looking for Marinette Dupain-Cheng. [whips out his baton and slams it into a ninja’s ribs] “I’m sorry. Your princess is in another castle.” [come and get me hand motion] “You’ll just have to make do with me.”  
Ninja: “You will bring us to the girl.”  
Chat: [kicks a ninja in the chest] “I would have but a little birdy told me you’re bad news.” [extends baton and launches himself into the air over their heads]  
“Just a _tip_ , [throws the cash register] you’re never going to _cut_ it [smashes a ninja into the glass case. throws glass shards at three others] in the bakery business if you can’t [flings ninja into a pile of flour bags, making a giant flour cloud] go with the _flour_. [hits a ninja with a bag of sugar] Jeeze. Talk about a sugar-crash.”  
[gets thrown into a wall] “Not much for chit- _chat_ are you?”  
[blocking a sword to the chest] “I see you still prefer to _cut_ right to the _heart_ of the matter.” But any way you _slice_ it [flips the sword out of the ninjas hand] you won’t get Marinette. [throws it at another’s leg] So I’m afraid I’ll have to _blade_ you adieu.” [weaves through zerg rush of ninjas, launching off them to the other side of the store]  
And then he gets right up in Talia’s space because kitty’s developed what you might call a suicidally protective style of fighting that mainly involves throwing himself between Ladybug and danger.  
“What’s the matter? _Chat_ got your tongue?” [Chat. This is a bad idea]  
[Talia _thrashes_ him]  
Talia: [drags chat up by the throat] “You _will_ tell me where she is.”  
Chat: “Tempting offer. But I can’t. It’s a Ladybug-only secret. [absolutely giving her a cheerfully defiant ‘fuck you’ smile because that boy has no self-control. He also absolutely has blood on his teeth because I have no self-control] Oh, does that _bug_ you?”

Whelp. Chat’s definitely going to die. that’s just– you couldn’t pick someone _slightly_ less lethal to royally piss off? just a little? (at least it solves our main love triangle)

[a yoyo flies throw the air wrapping around Talia’s wrist forcing her to let go of Chat]  
Ladybug: “Back off!”  
Talia: [grabs wrist string and uses it to pull Ladybug off balance and within striking distance]  
Robin: [fully-body tackles Talia] [rolls to come to one of those cool Bat-sliding-stops] “No.”  
Marinette’s soulmate lifts his sword holding it defensively in front of Paris’s heroes.  
Damian: “You will not win this fight mother.”

Now the fight **_really_** gets going.

Battle 1 – Start!

Now that Mari and Damian’s heads are back in the game team good guy starts actually gaining some ground. Ladybug’s spinning magic shield of yoyo power plows through everything while Robin and his katana protect her other side, cutting down anything that dares get close. Chat rounds it out by watching their backs, filling in any weak spots before anything can get through.

Talia is quickly going from coldly aloof to _not happy_.

Butterfly: Now me?

You know what? Yes. Butterfly’s time is now. I can’t see Talia or any of the League not having enough control over their emotions to avoid getting akumatized but screw it, akumatized Talia sounds too fun to _not_ do. She could pull a Lila and grab a passing butterfly out of the air.

Talia pulls a Lila and grabs the butterfly out of the air.

Ladybug: “Oh–  
Chat: –Shit.”

~^~

Hawkmoth: [maniacal laugh] “Kunoichi, you have been wr–”  
Talia: “Do you really believe you are the one in _control?”_  
Hawkmoth: “I’ve made a horrible mistake.” [wouldn’t be your first you trainwreck of a man you]

A brief description of some aspects of akuma!Talia: the most ridiculously stereotypey ninja outfit you could imagine, her sword is still around but has gotten bigger and _even sharper_ , a wispy shadowy form that solidifies and desolidifies in constant flux, able to meld with shadows and then step back out of a different shadow, ALL THE KNIVES, able to launch bits of her own shadows that solidify into razor sharp shards for **even more knives!**

Chat: “Anyone see just what got akumatized?”  
Ladybug and Robin: “Nope.”  
Chat: “Great. And I’ve already used up all my best knife puns.”

Battle 2 – Start!

Ladybug: “Chat! Get us a perimeter! Keep those ninjas out!”  
Robin: “I’ve studied your fights; you analyze from a distance. Look for a weak point.” [launches himself at akuma!Talia, sword first]  
[Akuma!Talia and Robin go at it, swords moving fast enough to blur, taking out the rest of the already-destroyed bakery.]  
akuma!Talia: “Your father has always been too weak to do what needs to be done. I raised you to be stronger but still you failed.”  
Robin: “And yet it was your choices that ended with me being killed and _father’s_ that brought me back.”  
Ladybug: …  
 ** _KILLED?!?!??!?_**

Nope. Not thinking about it. Not going to think about it. Avoidance shields, full strength. Worry about it once the ninjas are gone Mari, not now. Not thinking about it. No siree.

[Robin’s sword snaps in half. He flips himself out of the way while akuma!Talia advances]  
akuma!Talia: “Disgraceful. That you would not only hide your soulmate but you’d let such glaring weakness as this girl control you.”  
Robin: _“Do not speak of her.”_  
[shadow knives go!] [Ladybug knocks them out of the air.]  
Ladybug: “Lucky Charm!”

Robin gets a brand new red and black spotted sword. But now the fight’s on a countdown timer.

[beep beep beep go the plot earrings]

Ladybug: “Chat! Time to tag in!”

And Marinette is just Marinette again until she can recharge.

_needaplanneedaplanneedaplan_

!

A good Ladybug always has a plan.

~^~

Chat and Robin are so ridiculously screwed.

_needaplanneedaplanneedaplan_

!

Chat: “Hey birdy! Remember the catacombs?”  
Robin: “This is a bad idea.”  
Chat: “Too late! Cataclysm!” [cataclysms the floor] [grabs Robin and baton-elevator lifts them up]

No more ninjas. But now we’re on another countdown timer.

[beep beep beep goes the plot ring]

And now Damian is exhausted, unarmed and alone.

* * *

Damian forces himself into a fighting position. Every breath burns with the fire of broken ribs grinding against each other. He curls shaking hands into fists, waiting. He doesn’t have to win. Ladybug or Chat Noir will be back as soon as they can. He just has to hold out until one of them returns.

And if the worst happens… then Marinette is safe. She is hidden somewhere his mother and the League can never reach. It doesn’t matter if he loses. Marinette will be safe.

“Hey!” Both Robin and Talia turn. Marinette stands in a collapsed doorway wielding a metal pipe. “Get away from him!”

Damian damn near has a heart attack. “Marinette!”

Marinette turns in Robin’s direction. She gives him a small, shy smile. “Bonjour Damian.” Then she turns back to Talia, hefting her pipe higher. “You want me? I’m right here!”

Talia advances on Marinette. The first volley of knives forces Marinette to dive, falling backwards. She scrambles out of the way of the sword swung almost idly at her throat. The next strike comes lightning fast, catching her unawares. Her pipe goes flying.

“No!” Damian throws himself toward Marinette. _He can’t lose her he **can’t lose her–**_ Talia slams him against the far wall. He lands with a thud and the dull crack of broken bones. The remnants of the ceiling crashes down on him, pinning him underneath it.

“Now son. You chose to keep this weakness. She chose to come out and fight by your side rather than continuing to hide like a child. The least you can do is let her try to prove whether she is worth anything. And when she is not I shall strike her down and it will be the end of it.” Talia turns back to Marinette, sword raised. “To have such weakness fester so long it is no wonder you failed as you did.”

“Damian is not weak!” Marinette yells dragging herself to her feet. She’s already panting and clutching her ribs even though so far all Talia’s done is toy with her but she glares up defiantly at her anyway. “He’s brave and kind and smart and he is **strong!** And you can’t have him. So get. Out.”

“He is my son.”

“And he’s _my soulmate_. Damian is not yours. Not anymore. Not ever again.”

Another volley of knives goes flying at her head. Marinette lets out a squeak of fear and tumbles sideways into one of the walls only for it to give out under her. Talia waits, watching silently as Marinette picks herself up once again. She forms a sword out of solid shadows and holds it out to Marinette. Marinette looks at the sword. She picks her pipe back up.

“Very well. If that is what you wish to die wielding, so be it.” With a wave of her hand the shadow-sword disappears and the fight begins.

It is a very one-sided, very downhill fight.

For every blow Marinette manages to just barely dodge or defect there are two she can’t. Blood seeps out of a dozen cuts, splashing onto the ground. She scrambles backwards, losing more and more ground. Then Marinette’s footing betrays her. She’s looking frantically around when her ankle catches on debris, sending her to the ground. Talia’s sword flashes. Marinette lets out a chocked-off gasp.

_“No!! Marinette!!!”_

It stabs her clean through the chest.

**_“MARINETTE!!!!”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya it'd be perfect  
> •-•


	6. Saying Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marinette dies. Damian’s setting the world on fire until he gets to a time machine or dark magic.

**_“MARINETTE!!!!”_ **

_No. Nonononono. Not his angel. Anyone but his angel._

Damian claws his way out from under the rubble.

_Please no. God no._

“M–Marinette!!!”

_She can’t– She **can’t–**_

Talia pulls her sword away, red and shining with blood. With _Marinette’s_ blood.

_Anything good gets taken away. The League kills soulmates._

He forces himself upright onto a broken leg. It collapses under him at his first step.

_~~She is perfect and good and he does not get to keep her~~ _

“Marinette.”

Marinette reaches up and touches the hole in her torso. Her eyes focus on something behind Talia’s head. “You lose.”

    akuma!Talia: “I– What?”  
Marinette *poofs out of existence*  
Damian: “What.”  
akuma!Talia takes a confused step forward triggering the Rube Goldberg-like trap Ladybug had set up with her lucky charm  
A foxy Ladybug materializes holding a flute.  
foxy Ladybug: “Boo.” [cold-clocks akuma!Talia]  
Damian: **“What.”**

A good Ladybug always has a plan.

And a good Guardian has access to the Miracle Box.

(Congratulations Greenqueen2001 and Angel_Luna! You two win all the marbles)

So… um… Surprise! She’s not actually dead, she just faked it!

…Yay?

    foxy Ladybug: [breaks Talia’s sword releasing the akuma] “That’s enough from you. [does her purifying thing] Um, hi. I’m really sorry about the whole making you think your soulmate had been killed thing.”  
Damian: **_“What.”_**

Ladybug defoxes. She explains how the entire Marinette-fight was an illusion. Robin catches on really quick now that he’s thinking again. She apologizes so so much for not being able to let him know ahead of time that it was an illusion and for making him watch it in the first place and for not coming up with a better plan and– just for everything really. (oh my god his _voice_ when copy Marinette had been stabbed. Marinette never wants to hear him sound like that again.)

Chat barges in before anything else could happen. Okay, ‘barges’ might be pushing it for someone who’s relying on his staff to keep himself upright. Ladybug grabs her lucky charm (it’s a shoe!) and fixes everything. Robin can walk again! Chat can walk again! The bakery is fixed! Robin has his sword again!

    Robin: “Excuse me while I kill my mother.”  
Ladybug: “Marinette is safe. She’s in the same place she’s been all night. I would never put a civilian in danger like that. Marinette is alright. And she wouldn’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”  
Robin: “I don’t feel regret.”  
Ladybug: “I know you still love her. No stabbing.”  
 _Fiiiine._

While Ladybug goes to recharge Chat babysits– uh I mean _observes_ one very intense standoff between Talia and Damian. 

In the end it boils down to threats and violence with a splash of Talia putting a stop to everything because deep down she still loves her son (especially now that she’s not literally controlled by her worst emotions) to readers’ individual taste, creating a tense uneasy truce.

    Robin: “Great. Now Get. Out.”  
Talia: “Why should I?”  
Chat: [totally bluffing] “Ladybug said no stabbing. She didn’t say anything about cataclysm.”

Chat escorts the ninjas out of the city. Ladybug and Robin stay behind. They’ve got a lot to talk about, don’t they?

    Ladybug: “I’m sorry, again. For making a fake Marinette and traumatizing you with the apparent death of the person you love more than anyone else in the world.”  
Robin: [I’m going to shut my emotions down and deal with them never] “It doesn’t matter.”  
Ladybug: “Yes it does matter! She’s your soulmate and I made you think she was dead and I hurt you and I should have come up with some other plan I should have come up with something better. I failed and screwed up and you thought you were alone, because of _me!_ I just– you were injured and losing and I had to do something before Talia could hurt you, you said she’d already killed you before and what did you mean by that anyway and that doesn’t matter right now you’re here aren’t you? Anyway I couldn’t see you get hurt or– or– I couldn’t see you get hurt and I panicked and didn’t think I just had to do _something_ – But that doesn’t matter because I should have–”  
Robin: [too many emotions too many emotions Abort! Abort!] “You know who I am.”  
Ladybug: “Oh I– uh–Yeah! I mean no! I mean… I figured it out?”  
Robin: “You knew I’m Marinette’s soulmate and you knew my real name.”  
Ladybug: [OhCrapOhCrapOhCrap] [totally didn’t think about what she was saying and just yelled what she’s wanted to say to Talia since she was five] “Um… You see I know Marinette has a soulmate. And I know the ninjas were here because of her soulmate. And Marinette– she said her soulmate’s name is Damian! And then uh– when the head ninja lady showed up she called you her son and I kinda– put it together?”  
Robin: “You guessed.”  
Ladybug: “Shut up.”  
[And now that that’s out of the way.]  
Ladybug: “I won’t tell Marinette who you are.”  
Robin: “Thank you.”

Chat calls up and says the ninjas have all skedaddled. Ladybug makes her excuses as to why Robin can’t come with her to retrieve Marinette. Given that it’s now probably dawn or thereabouts he very reluctantly agrees to wait until night to see her. Our heroes scatter. The Night of the Ninjas has officially ended.

* * *

Ladybug retrieves Tom and Sabine, and then ‘retrieves’ Marinette. Mari very pointedly spends a huge chunk of time out on her balcony in plain view which Damian, who’s pulling a stalker from the shadows, really appreciates. (Marinette absolutely calls Damian. She also absolutely ignores the traffic sounds and background snippets of French that is the exact same as from outside her window.)

    Bonus  
Marinette: “Aaahh! Tikki!!! Why did I say I wouldn’t tell Marinette! Now I’ve got no reason to know that he’s Robin! Tikki what is my life!”  
Tikki: “A hot mess usually of your own creation.”

    Bonus #2  
Robin: “Where’d I chuck that stupid voice changer?”

~^~

Night falls. Robin drops in on Marinette’s balcony. He’s found the smaller, less stupid looking voice changer that was apparently in the ship the whole time. Marinette’s there waiting for him. There’s stilted smalltalk, awkward reassurances and thank yous. There’s the worst covering for secret identities you’ve ever seen. (and I know what fandom I’m writing for) There’s a hug.

It’s a way too long, way too tight hug. If Marinette didn’t know what had happened and didn’t know who Robin really was and if Damian was thinking clearly enough to remember Mari doesn’t (shouldn’t) know what happened or who he is then it would be an awkwardly, suspiciously clingy hug. But they? Both _reeeaallly_ need this hug. So they stand there for way too long clinging to each other like the world will fall apart if they don’t.

Eventually they break apart. There’s more awkward, stilted small talk. Robin forces himself to leave so Marinette can get some sleep.

~^~

The night after that Ladybug and Chat Noir see Robin off. They all exchange burner numbers so they can keep in contact. Ladybug’s got boxes of pastry’s that she’s ‘passing along from Marinette’, a big box of thank-you treats for Robin and the whole Batfam and a smaller box for Robin to ‘pass along to Damian’.

    Ladybug: “Sooo… you going to tell Marinette who you are?”  
Robin: [is threatening panic a thing? because Dami’s coming pretty close] “You said you wouldn’t.”  
Ladybug: “I meant what I said when I said I wouldn’t tell her. It should come from you.”  
Robin: “Thank you. You know how important secrets are.”  
Ladybug: “You should really consider telling her.”  
Robin: [absolutely not] “I’ll consider it.”  
Ladybug: “At the very least you should at least give her some sort of explanation about the ninjas.”  
Robin: [haha. No] “I’ll consider it.”

And then Robin is heading off. And just like that our two lovers are separated once again. (Marinette absolutely calls Damian. She also absolutely ignores the background jet noises.)

* * *

Damian returns home.

He is _immediately_ swarmed.

By **_Everyone._**

Damain had _massively_ underestimated how much his family cared about all of this. (You are their family Damian. This is what families look like. It’s not even a terribly functional one, it’s just not horror-show levels like the other side of your heritage.) He’d love to know when Drake started thinking of him as an actual brother. He would have sworn that was only on his side and Drake still saw him as a homicide risk. (siiighhh… Damian.)

If the Batfam already loved Marinette for how happy she makes Damian and from what they’ve seen from Paris TV then she gets a huge bump with those pastries she sent back. Marinette had to detective her way to finding out where Damian lives. Which means she researched the _shit_ out Gotham. And after the night she had, Mari had a _lot_ of excess energy/tension to burn off.  
There are personalized treats for every one of the Batfam, most of them ~just coincidently~ in their publicly favorite flavors. There are even some for Alfred. Not marked as such but totally for him.

Robin hoards his Damian-box like a dragon.

    Damian: “Mine.”  
Tim: “I mean, if it’s a Robin-box then all of us who’ve _been_ Robin should be allowed to–”  
Damian: _“Mine.”_  
Dick: “Awww, did Marinette send treats back with Robin just for you-you? That’s so sweet!”  
Jason: [shoving five bonbons in his mouth like a cretin] “What even are they?”  
Alfred: “I believe they are bugnes. Sometimes called angel wings.” (^~^)

Ladybug calls the cave the next day, officially opening up the Paris-Gotham communication lines. It takes her almost no time to realize Robin told his family as little as humanly possible. She waits for the end of the call then very loudly outs that she knows who Robin is and that he’d seen what he’d thought was Marinette dying. She lives in a city currently terrorized by negative emotions, she’s learned a few things about emotional repression and support systems. Damian ends up in the middle of a family-wide cuddle pile. It’s– not as horrible as he claims. It’s almost nice. (he’s never telling Dick that) It helps that Marinette calls less than five minutes after Ladybug. There are worse places in the world than surrounded by his family listening to his angel.

* * *

It’s mostly quiet after NinjaNight. Hawkmoth seems a little shy after getting owned by one of his own akumas. Which is good because Chat Noir’s gotten quiet again.

It lasts a few days before Chat calls up Ladybug and asks to meet.

    Chat: “You really think Hawkmoth is Gabriel?”  
Ladybug: “Yes.”

They can’t let Hawkmoth get their miraculouses. It’s dangerous to have a miraculous so close to Hawkmoth. It’s dangerous to have a miraculous wielder so close to Hawkmoth. Everything Adrien does could run the risk of letting Hawkmoth find out who he is. And anyway if Gabriel’s evil what does that say about Adrien? What if he becomes evil next? (Baby, no. That’s not how this works)

Adrien pulls off his ring and hold it out to Ladybug.

Nope. Nuh-uh. No way. Ladybug is not losing her partner to this.

Avoidance worked last time, so it’ll totally work again, right?

    Ladybug: “So it turns out my soulmate is Robin.”

Chat promptly falls off the roof.

Except Chat is currently Adrien and it’s a lot less graceful of a landing than normal. He’s fine.

He drops the ring.

We’ve officially lost the miraculous of chaos and destruction off the side of a building. Yay!!!

Marinette threatens to superglue it to his finger.

They have an actual talk with actual emotions (shocking I know) about their partnership and how important it is and how important Chat is, whether as Chat or as Adrien. “You are my partner and I’ll always love you.” They talk about how Adrien feels about Gabriel being evil and trying to kill him, leaving the tactical part of the conversation behind for the night. And when they’ve both maxed out their emotional capacity they have the handy distraction of Ladybug’s super-soulmate.

~^~

Ladybug and Chat Noir are back and better than ever!

But they can’t pretend things aren’t different now. They’d both been trying to get over the other before everything went to hell. For Marinette their mini cold war had re-centered her feelings for Chat firmly out of romantic. And she’s spent the last few weeks thinking about Adrien in ‘Ladybug mode’ – as a helpless civilian in harm’s way she’d have to work around/protect when it came to Gabriel/Hawkmoth. ~~(and then of course there’s Damian)~~ For Adrien he’s had exactly Zero extra emotional energy to think about Marinette. And he’s spent the last few weeks shunting a lot of undeserved but still very real resentment and anger onto Ladybug (thanks emotional projection!) and he’s (barely) emotionally not-stunted enough to recognize that whatever they could have been they… can’t anymore. At least on his end. Then the impromptu identity reveal and subsequent mess that followed well and truly put out the last of the sparks between them.

They’re back but they’re not stitched back together quite the same way they were before.

But maybe that’s okay.

So long as they have each other, maybe all of it will be okay.


	7. Meanwhile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is less plotting and more gardening. Clearing the field a little. Planting some plot seeds and pruning away some of the old plot points to make room for new growth. Shaping up the bushes as it were to make for cleaner landscaping and clearly this line of metaphors has gotten away from me I’m going to stop now

Before we being chapter proper, an amendment to season finale changes.

I’ve decided it took a little while for Hawkmoth to ‘fix’ the peacock miraculous. So we’ll be dealing with that next chapter.

Okay. Now, on with the show.

Mari now knows ALL THE SECRETS

help.

She’s Ladybug, which means lying to everyone. She’s the Guardian, which means all the Guardian secrets and even more lying to everyone. She knows who Hawkmoth is (maybe), which means she has to watch herself in case she lets something slip which lets _him_ know that _she_ knows. She knows who Mayura is (maybe), which means she has to watch herself in case she lets something slip which lets _her_ know that _she_ knows. She knows who Chat Noir is, which means she has to watch herself _all the time_ in case she lets something slip. (thank god her crush had already been petering out when she found out otherwise she would have imploded, she knows it)

She saw Lila grab an akuma out of the air yesterday (grand total of a thirty second fight if it wasn’t so worrying it’d be kinda pathetic) but she saw as Ladybug not Marinette so she can’t tell anyone. Chloé wasn’t just akumatized into Miracle Queen but _chose_ to join Hawkmoth but they can’t out that without creating one hell of a legal mess. There’s a box full of some of the most powerful items in the world sitting under her bed–

All that she could handle. It wasn’t fun. She didn’t like it. She didn’t _want_ to lie to _everyone_. It was hard and draining and she was stressed almost all the time. It was driving her slowly **_insane_** – But. She could handle it.

But then–

–Then!

Damian had to happen. Damian who is Robin. Damian whose mother is the leader of a group of ninja assassins. _Damian still won’t tell her either those things so she can stop pretending not to know about them!_

Robin will call Ladybug and Marinette will have to physically slap a hand over her mouth from being too familiar or saying something personal that Ladybug shouldn’t know. And then _Damian_ will call _Marinette_ and she’ll start to telling him about things that are bothering her because more and more she finds she wants to tell Damian _everything_ only to catch herself almost bringing up hero stuff.

Yesterday morning she’d checked the Gotham news feeds ( _after_ greeting Damian. She learned a long time ago to always do that first) and found a video of Robin going up against Bane. Robin – Damian, _her_ Damian – had been thrown out of third story window. Marinette had sat on the floor, heart in her throat watching it. Bane had separated him from the other heroes in the fight, cutting him off from escape. By the time Damian managed to fight his way back to his family he was unsteady on his feet, favoring one side.

And what was Marinette supposed to do? _Ladybug_ was just a colleague and a fellow hero so she was supposed to understand that these things happened. And _Marinette_ didn’t know that Robin was Damian and so had no reason to freak out about injuries she wasn’t supposed to know he had.

She called Damian. Because she couldn’t not. She sat there, phone pressed to her ear listening to it ring, video playing on a muted loop until Tikki had forcibly shut her computer off. It took three calls before he finally picked up. She’d babbled at Damian for almost two hours, trying desperately to focus on the smile in his voice rather than the repressed wince of pain.

This cannot go on.

Solution? Stop having so many secrets.

Marinette’s _not_ going to tell Damian who she is. Not yet. The boy literally tried to stab his mother last time he got even peripherally involved. And he lives on another continent. She’s not going to subject him to that same horrible waiting/watching/unable to do anything she has to live with. Until Hawkmoth’s caught he can’t know.

Marinette’s not going to _tell_ Adrien who she is. That’d be irresponsible. She’s just going to stop trying so hard to hide it. Or at all.

Remember ladies and gents, glamours are tied in part to whether the wielder wants to remain hidden from someone.

    Ladybug: “I can’t believe Kim ate 40 croissants in under ten minutes!”  
Chat: “I can’t believe he didn’t puke. So you watched the video Alix posted of it?”  
Ladybug: “There’s the akuma over there.”  
Chat: “Ladybug?”  
Ladybug: “Let’s go!”  
Chat: “You didn’t answer.”  
Ladybug: “Focus Chat Noir!”

    Marinette: “Good morning Kitty.”  
Adrien: “Good morning Mar– inette?”

    Random citizen: “Oh no! An akuma!”  
Marinette and Adrien: [stare at each other]  
Marinette: “I’m going to go… hide. Somewhere. Bye.” [turns and walks around a corner] “Tikki! Spots On!”  
Ladybug: [walks out from around same corner] “You gonna join me kitty?”  
Adrien:…

    Ladybug: “What did you get for #12 on the math homework?”  
Chat: “72.”  
Ladybug: “Great thanks!”  
Chat: “I mean, uh that probably won’t help you or anything given that we don’t go to the same school, let alone the same class.”  
Ladybug: “Uh-huh, sure. What’d you get for #15?”

    Marinette: “A… bottled laugh? That can’t be right. Maybe I…”  
Adrien: “You okay there Mari?”  
Marinette: [passes over a tablet] “Yeah just having some translating issues.”  
Adrien: [looks down expecting English homework or maybe Chinese. Instead gets a page of the grimoire, complete with a full illustration of a previous Ladybug] “Oh wow that looks like some really involved extra credit there Mari sorry but I don’t think I’ll be able to help you with it oh would you look at the time I’ve gotta go I’m late for the– thing! at the place! I told Nino I’d help Ivan with Rose said she needed– anyway so yeah I’ll see you later Marinette bye!”

    Ladybug: “It’s a bummer you couldn’t come with us to Nino’s DJing gig.”  
Chat: “You’re using the royal us, right? Like the royal we?”  
Ladybug: “Sure Chaton. Oh! Nino wanted me to tell you there’s a cd recording of the show waiting for you at the studio if you want it. It’s under the name Monsieur Hot Pants.”  
[later after the akuma’s gone]  
Nino: “Hey Dude! Did Marinette get a chance to tell you I left a recor–”  
Adrien: “MARINETTE TOLD ME NOTHING!!”  
Marinette: “Ignore him Nino. I ran into him during the akuma attack and told him then.”

    Ladybug: [opens mouth]  
Chat: “lalalala I can’t hear you lalala I have no idea you’re Marinette, none at all!” [how has my greatest wish become a living nightmare?]

So Adrien ~~maybe kinda knows~~ ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT KNOW _STOP SPREADING LIES_

~^~

Marinette is _so much less stressed_ now that she doesn’t have to keep massive secrets from Adrien.

She and Tiki have a talk when Mari first starts dropping hints. It boils down to ‘this is a bad idea’ ‘you can’t stop me. Tikki does not approve but if this is what her wielder and the new guardian wants to do she’ll support her because Tikki loves her. Plagg gets open access to a bakery because of it and therefore loves this plan.

Ladybug had already told Chat a ton about her soulmate. Marinette tells Adrien about her soulmate somewhere between Adrien’s ‘still oblivious’ and ‘willful denial’ stages. (her description of Damian is much more flattering than the one she gave to Alya. Instead of words like ‘secretive’ and ‘antisocial’ and ‘stubborn’ Damian is ‘shy’ and ‘surprisingly sweet’ and – okay ‘stubborn’ still makes it in.) One abandonment of denial later and dum da da dum! Adrien now knows the entire identity of the Batfamily! It doesn’t take long for him to ask about the ninja thing. Dum da da dum! Adrien now has the full context for the night of the ninja. (I am giving these children informed shoulders to cry on. just watch me.)

Now that they know who each other are they both get a bit high infatuated with the idea of being able to share their secrets. They start gleefully rehashing every fight, filling in their sides of the stories.

Which is how Adrien comes to learn that Marinette had a **giant** crush on him. There’s a quiet moment where they both mourn the ‘ _had_ ’ part of the ‘had been in love with each other’. Then they spend the night laughing over all the ways they’d accidently sabotaged themselves romantically. It’ll be years before that stops being ridiculous.

Adrien takes the chance to very loudly and obnoxiously expound on the fact that they’d both been in love with each other without even realizing it. He dubs the whole mess ‘The Love Square’.

Marinette threatens to suffocate him with a pillow.

* * *

Meanwhile

Damian’s family now knows he has Marinette’s phone number.

You can bet they’re going to do something with that.

Dick absolutely starts a pestering campaign to get his hands on it. Then he learns Marinette has all of their phone numbers.

    Dick: “Come on Dami! You told her they were just for emergencies didn’t you? What am I saying of course you did.”  
Jason: “You’ve got two choices brat. Cough up the number or we’ll have Tim hack your phone.”  
Tim: “I wouldn’t even need to do that much. We have her full name. And I’m willing to bet her number’s not unlisted.”  
Dick: “Then why haven’t you already?”  
Tim: “Some remaining semblance of the social construct?”  
[Damian’s phone rings. He turns his back on everyone to answer it]  
Dick: “Is that her? [basically yelling levels of volume] Hey! Marinette! Ignore everything’s Dami’s said call us!! We want to get to know you!!!”  
Tim: “Outside stalking that is.”

Marinette tentatively reaches out to the rest of the Batfam.

And the floodgates are opened.

If the Batfam loved Marinette back when she was ‘‘‘just’’’ Damian’s soulmate they absolutely _adore_ her now.

Marinette, who’s always been an only child suddenly finds herself with a veritable _swarm_ of long-distance older siblings. Cass is a great listener and Steph’s got a million ‘let me tell you how I screwed up so you can avoid doing the same’ stories. Dick’s the fun brother and Jason’s the teach you how to get away with things brother and Tim’s the brother who should be too busy but somehow always has time. It’s a little overwhelming. She totally gets why Damian was so thrown when he first moved in with his father now.

(And, bonus, they _all_ have embarrassing Damian stories and are more than willing to share)

Tom and Sabine, who’ve mostly gotten used to Mari’s soulmate being a nebulous presence rather than a real boy, are suddenly getting calls from _Bruce Wayne,_ who keeps throwing around phrases like ‘practically family’ and ‘just a little something’. (the phone bills he’s allowed to keep paying, the personal private jet is politely refused) Marinette had not informed them her soulmate was the son of one of the richest men in the world. Bruce is a lot less dumb than the American tabloids make him out to be.

Tom and Sabine also start trading recipes with Alfred. No one can tell if it’s a beautiful friendship or a cutthroat feud along national culinary lines.

~^~

Marinette also drags a brother into the family fold with her. She’s shifted straight from ‘romance’ to ‘family’ with Adrien apparently. Damian doesn’t trust it. Damian never trusts good things. Especially since Mari seems to say she loves Adrien more than she did when she was ‘in’ love with him. But Marinette clearly plans on keeping him so now he has to play ‘nice’ with him.

Dick starts a multilingual, truly painful long-term pun-off with him and Tim does some major taking under-wing after getting his first full look at this sad, quiet poor little rich boy with awful, controlling parental figures who runs around the peripheral edges of superheroes.

* * *

Meanwhile Meanwhile

Marinette and Adrien’s friends are all _so freaking confused_.

Marinette went from a blushing stuttering mess whenever Adrien was mentioned, let alone in the room, to staring at him like she’d just been told he was secretly an alien, to completely over her crush what are you talking about never happened, to pestering him relentlessly over _something_ no one has any idea what only that it’s driving Adrien slowly insane with failed denial.

And Adrien? He went from oblivious sunshine child, to ‘hello darkness my old friend’, to less than a week of what _might_ have been peace or might have been more brooding who knows Mari started her pester campaign before they could figure it out. The weirdest part is that as Adrien loses his battle with denial he becomes closer and closer with Marinette.

And then one day Adrien must give up the denial thing entirely and they both completely give up on personal space, draping themselves all over each other like puppies or kittens. (the ‘secretly dating’ pool is huge but keeps taking hits, like when Mari tried to push Adrien to ask Kagami out) They have a million inside jokes already and they tell each other everything. Ivan caught them finishing each other’s sentences.

Alya is _going_ to get to the bottom of this, just watch her!

Nino’s going to not. His best bro’s happy again, he’s just going to focus on that. He’ll focus on figuring out Ladybug and Chat Noir. Their weirdness is less… weird. Carapace got called in as emergency backup to protect a children’s theatre from a sentimonster made from a shrub costume last week and they’d been super different. Chaton had called Ladybug his ‘little bugaboo’ and rather than get annoyed Ladybug had leaned in and called him her ‘petit chaton’. But when he asked them if they were a thing now they both laughed and Chat made a bird pun of all things. (the ‘secret dating’ pool for them is just as huge and just as confused)

Lila ‘‘‘‘innocently’’’’ makes a remark that ‘‘‘‘‘‘accidently’’’’’’ outs Marinette’s awful, crippling, super embarrassing crush on Adrien to him. And that’s how the class finds out Adrien already knows about her crush, and all the embarrassing stories of things she’s done because of her crush and they have inside jokes about it. (Lila is pissed. She was expecting tears not laughter. Marinette was supposed to be socially and emotionally destroyed! Where are her tears dammit!!) Also that Adrien is already wingmanning/cheerleading for Marinette and a different, unknown mystery guy.

(The secret dating pool goes insane)

* * *

Meanwhile Meanwhile Meanwhile

Robin keeps the up a regular correspondence with Ladybug and Chat Noir. Okay, mainly Ladybug. Those mountains of notes on their various failures finally get some use. They go over fights, breaking down what went wrong and what they can fix. They talk training regiments and go over fight scenarios. He and Ladybug talk tactics. He helps her sort through what she knows about Hawkmoth and Mayura. (and he _knows_ there’s something Ladybug’s not telling him)

If you ask Adrien and Marinette, Robin has a tendency to be callous, bordering on cruel. He makes no allowances and has a negative sense of humor. Chat once accidentaled himself into a forty-minute lecture because he said their last fight had ‘worked out in the end’. Chat makes a lot of ‘you sure he’s your soulmate?’ type jokes whenever Dami’s particularly mean. He also makes even more ‘ah, I see it now’ jokes over the fact that Robin is markedly more cordial to Ladybug.

Meanwhile the Batfam’s just over here shook by how relatively generous and nice he’s being towards them. Generous and nice for Damian anyway.

    Damian: [thinks about Chat Noir, purposefully goading Talia, being unable to even stand without help from his staff but trying to get back to the fight anyway, willing to die to protect Marinette.]  
Damian: [thinks about Ladybug, sharp enough beat Talia, ruthless enough to use Marinette to do so, smart enough to never actually put her in danger while doing so.]  
Damian: [thinks about Marinette, safe and alive, standing on her balcony.]  
Damian: “They are less incompetent than I had previously believed. With time they may even become half-decent combatants.”  
Tim: “Wow. High praise. How come you never say stuff that nice about us?”

~^~

Marinette keeps going back and forth on what to do in terms of her new in with Robin.

There are things she can ask about as Ladybug that she has no reason to even know about as Marinette. He’d said he had _died._ As in **_died._** Marinette would like to know about that please. Immediately. ~~Ninety-eight days. Ninety-eight days of silence. Ninety-eight days where Damian was ** _gone._**~~

But on the other hand, Damian wouldn’t be telling Marinette, he’d be telling Ladybug. Using Ladybug to ask him about it reeks of deception. It’s so much worse than simply hiding being Ladybug. It’s purposefully using that lie to get him to tell her things he wouldn’t if he knew it was her.

For now no decisions have been made.

* * *

Meanwhile Meanwhile Meanwhile Meanwhile

Adrien’s father is a supervillain. He’s… coping.

Badly. He’s coping badly.

But he _is_ coping!

He has his friends. He has his Lady (who needs to _stop_ dropping hints about her identity. Come on Marin– I mean, Ladybug. what happened to ‘secret’?)

He has a house full of supervillains. And the gorilla.

He lives in a supervillain’s evil lair.

He… lives in a supervillain’s evil lair. Complete with a hidden compartment behind a painting.

(Adrien… no. Adrien no. This is a bad idea Adrien.)

Adrien does learn. There are video cameras in his dad’s office. But kwamis don’t show up on film.

    Adrien: “Come on Plagg. You can phase through walls. Just phase through the painting and check it out.  
Plagg: “You already know what’s behind the painting!”  
Adrien: “Yeah but that was before I knew what it was! Ooh! Do you think there’s a secret underground lair under the house? Can you phase through the floor and check?”  
Plagg: “Kid just because we don’t show up on film doesn’t mean we can’t be seen. And if I get caught it’s bye-bye Chat Noir.”  
Adrien: “Good point… Do you think we can trip the power? Or maybe I can sneak in through the sewer?”

The class gets even more confused when Marinette storms into the classroom one day, slams her hands down on Adrien’s desk and calls him a reckless idiot. It then devolves into a clearly one-sided argument that’s 90% nonvoiced and 100% incomprehensible.

More bets are placed.

* * *

Meanwhile Meanwhile Meanwhile Meanwhile Meanwhile

Damian finds out Marinette doesn’t tell people about him.

Not going to lie, it hurts. But at the same time, he would have been upset if she _had_ told people about him because it would have been dangerous. And he’s also feeling defensive since he knows the reason Marinette hasn’t told people is because he made it impossible for her to talk about him. And he’s still trying (failing at) to get used to her being safe. (Pick an emotion Damian. You do not have the capacity to house this many at once.) But now that they’ve solved the League of Assassins shaped sword of Damocles so it’s safe for Marinette to tell people. And she actually knows things about him now (like his name, that’s always a good place to start) so she has things she can actually _tell_ now.

Alya finally gets to learn JMS’s name. Nino **finally** gets to learn JMS’s name. Adrien already knows because seriously, those two tell each other everything these days. _Everything._ It’s weird.

One day the four of them are hanging out when Marinette gets a text. Marinette looks at it and breaks into a smile Alya’s never seen before. Even at her blushiest over Adrien she never smiled like that.

    Adrien: “Damian again?”  
Marinette: [still smiling and now happily texting like mad] “Yeah.”  
Nino: “Dude this can’t be real.”  
Adrien: “Just be grateful you guys missed the ‘burner phone’ stage.”  
Nino and Alya: “Wait what?”

Alya ‘arranges’ for Marinette to leave her phone behind when she ‘suddenly’ gets called into the other room by Nino while she’s on a call with Damian so she can interrogate him. She has no idea how the interrogation gets turned on her in under thirty seconds but it does. Nino likewise manages to get himself alone with Marinette’s phone mid-call so he can have a ‘talk’ with Damian about some of the things from their childhood. Instead he learns Mari’s soulmate is _terrifying._ But at the end of it Damian declares both him and Alya “acceptable” so that’s… good? He thinks?

Marinette introduces Damian to Kagami because those two would either get along great or be prepared to kill the other within a day. With Marinette as common ground I’m willing to bet more on the former. Their friendship is mostly video calls where they judge/offer advice on fighting forms and an understanding that Marinette is the best thing ever. Oh and they’ve also somehow bonded over their demanding mothers without ever talking about them.

Luka learns about Damian. Poor Luka. First Marinette has a crush on Adrien, then right as she’s starting to maybe look at guys other than him she gets massively distracted by something and all but disappears from his life. Then she starts coming around again and has apparently completely given up on Adrien, which means it should be Luka’s perfect chance.   
Except not because not only does she apparently have a _soulmate_ , (a **_soulmate._** There are entire harmonies in Marinette’s song Luka completely missed) Marinette is also in love with him and doesn’t even realize it. And for added fun Damian clearly hates him and Luka is decidedly smart enough to know why.

(The dating betting pool is _exploding_. The dumb ones have doubled down on Adrien. The smart ones have made a whole new pool on Damian. Adrien himself places the first bet in that one. Alya and Nino make a joint contribution as the second bet.)

* * *

Soon

So Adrien’s sewer plan didn’t exactly work out.

Fortunately he has a new one, a better one.

He’s going to convince his father to recruit him to the dark side. Adrien won’t have to sneak; his father will show him everything.

He is a genius.

    Plagg: “Kid I don’t even have to do anything this time. Because when Ladybug finds out she’s going to _kill_ you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marinette 100% calls Jason one day and goes “how do I hotwire a motorcycle?” and Jason just goes “okay, what model and what do you have on you?” No questions as to why or what she’s doing, he just teaches her how to hotwire a motorcycle. He’s so much better than Dick or Tim who both insist on asking questions and offering ‘better’ alternatives while teaching her how to commit felonies. Honestly if Dick really had used ‘proper channels’ every time he wouldn’t know how to crack more than twenty different safes. If she didn’t know who they were Marinette would be really worried about the Wayne family’s apparent criminal tendencies.
> 
> Non-Canon But Too Fun to Pass Up Bonus  
> 
> 
>     Bruce walks in on Damian and Kagami long-distance training.  
> Bruce: [hello brooding dark-haired child with martial arts training and a heart-tugging backstory.] “Excuse me a minute.”  
> Dick: “Bruce. You can’t adopt her. She still has her mother. B you can’t adopt her she’s not an orphan.”  
> Tim: “Excuse you I’m living proof he can adopt someone while their parents are still alive.”


	8. Chat Auditions for Evil Minion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also, other things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guess what? We’ve dismantled the love square! ~Yay!!!!~  
> Just in time to establish a new one!  
>  _Wait no don’t leave–!_

Adrien’s plan goes over about as well as you’d expect. All the back-up heroes start getting twitchy when it looks like Mom and Dad are going to start fighting again. All of Marinette and Adrien’s friends start getting twitchy when our not-lovebirds start the weirdest, least decipherable stand-off in human history. 

    Marinette: “Adrien no.”  
Adrien: “Adrien yes.”  
Marinette: **“Adrien. No.”**  
Adrien: “You can’t stop me.”  
Marinette: “This is a horrible idea.”  
Adrien: “A horrible idea you can’t stop me from trying.”  
Marinette: *facepalm*

Marinette is less accepting than… resigned.

Adrien had already gotten rid of most of his hoard of Ladybug pictures/stuff when his crush had fizzled out. Of what’s left the important stuff gets smuggled to Marinette’s. The rest he makes a huge show of throwing out/setting on fire/sacrificing to a five euro black butterfly statuette.

He starts making disparaging remarks about Ladybug whenever he’s in Gabriel or Nathalie’s earshot.

Adrien Agreste: entitled, disillusioned bitter child ready to throw a magical tantrum because he hasn’t gotten what he wanted yet.

He can totally sell this. (He absolutely cannot sell this)

The act’s about as effective as one of Marinette’s more spastic old ‘I totally don’t love you Adrien’ rants.

    Gabriel: “You once literally jumped off a roof because Ladybug told you to.”  
Adrien: [oh shit I did didn’t I?] “Well I definitely wouldn’t do that again.” [would totally do it again]  
Gabriel: “…right.”

This plan is going to take a while.

* * *

More and more of Marinette’s classmates slowly get clued into the soulmate thing.

    Rose: “Who’s that Marinette’s video chatting with?”  
Kim: “You haven’t heard?”  
Rose: “Heard what?”  
Kim: “That’s Marinette’s _soulmate._ ”  
Rose: “Wait, soulmate!? Marinette has a soulmate??”  
Kim: “Uh-huh. He’s from a strict family/shy/mysterious/a recluse weirdo.”  
Rose: “Ohmygod I can’t believe we never knew Mari had a soulmate I’ve gotta check this out excuse me while I go crash her vid-call.”

~^~

Inch by inch, person by person the circle of people in the know gets wider and wider until it’s basically the entire class. (not Chloé or Lila. they get to be in the dark)

The Adrien betting pool is all but abandoned by everyone except complete idiots. (so… Chloé and Lila then). _Everyone’s_ betting on Damian. How can you not with the way Marinette smiles like nothing else whenever she talks to him, or the way Mari’s scary, rude soulmate goes completely soft whenever Marinette points that smile at him? Or if you want something showier, how about the unlimited line of credit that he _somehow_ arranged for Marinette at the most expensive fabric store in the entire city? Or the absolute red carpet worthy jacket she’s making him?

* * *

Ladybug and Chat Noir continue to reap advice from the Batfam. 

(Chat and Nightwing start their own multilingual pun-off because Adrien is a lovable idiot who loves to push the boundaries of both his glamour and his lady’s patience.)

But even with the others popping in and out of the conversations, it’s almost entirely Robin and Ladybug. 

By now they’ve shifted from a strictly professional colleague-type relationship into a more personal almost friendshipy one. Mari is particularly torn between getting to know other sides of Damian more and talk to him more and Absolute Spastic Panic Over Damian Somehow Figuring Out She’s Ladybug.

The rest of the Batfam catch on to the whole Robin/Ladybug thing pretty quickly. Between how much more time he spends communicating with her than he would/has with pretty much any other up and coming baby hero, and the fact that there are _two_ heroes in Paris but he pretty much only talks to Ladybug, and how he is noticeably more friendly to **her** than pretty much anyone he’s been forced to professionally interact with. Oh there are vibes here. They’re sure of it.

    Dick: “Got some warm fuzzy feelings for a certain spotted heroine?”  
Damian: “Ladybug and Chat Noir are both more than adequate defenders of Paris. Ladybug herself is clever, resourceful and determined. She has a ruthless streak I greatly respect which belays her caring nature. Her plans are daring and oftentimes seemingly insane, utilizing both her intelligence and natural luck. Her fighting style is near fearless which occasionally works to her detriment and she needs to work on watching her back as she’s far too empathetic to continue letting Chat Noir take hits indefinitely. While she still has a lot to learn I believe she is a fine hero considering how long she’s been active and wish to help her reach her full, no doubt prodigious potential.”  
Dick: …  
Damian: “That being said, she caused me to think Marinette was dead so nothing will ever quell my undying desire to punch her in the face.” (It’d take something huge to change that. Something as big as Ladybug _being_ Marinette. But fat chance of something like that happening)

* * *

The supervillain problem has gotten worse.

Mayura becomes a regular thing. It turns out Mayura as a regular thing is way different than Mayura as an occasional thing. Unlike Gabriel ‘never leave my house’ Agreste Mayura is a much more active villain, not afraid to get her feathers dirty and willing to get out there and _fight_.

    Chat: “I’m not sure how I feel about hitting the woman who’s been the closest to an even halfway non-horrible parental figure to me.”  
Mayura: [throws Ladybug through a building]  
Chat: [pulls out baton] “Thank you for helping me clarify things.”

Chloé keeps creating akumas. Though whether it’s on purpose or just Chloé being Chloé is unclear. Lila keeps creating akumas. She’s definitely doing so on purpose. Though whether it’s for Hawkmoth or her own aims is unclear. She’s still fond of grabbing them herself. At the rate she’s going she’ll be able to give Mr. Pigeon a run for his money.

And then there’s Hawkmoth.

The fucker.

Hawkmoth got his hands on that partially translated grimoire and he’s been **using** it. Stronger akumas, two separate akumas without having to pull another scarlet moth, multiple akumas back to back to back.

One fight (actually five fights) had lasted three full hours, four successful reserve heroes, seven failed attempts to pull in a reserve hero because Mayura is _stalking_ them across the rooftops.

After that flight Marinette literally flops down on top of Adrien pulls out her burner, calls up Damian and just grumbles into the receiver. She has Tikki, she has Plagg, she has her boys and she does not want to _think_ anymore today.

* * *

Ladybug and Chat got so lucky that Stoneheart was Hawkmoth’s first akuma since he was noticeably non-human, unlike say, Lady Wifi who’s basically Alya in cosplay and colored contacts. They also got lucky that Hawkmoth showed his hand as the guy pulling the strings almost immediately. It made it easy to establish akuma victims as not legally or socially responsible for their actions and then lock that fact down.

Downside? That fact is **locked down.** If you say they chose to be akumatized it becomes a she-said/they-said of Ladybug’s word against the victim’s. That could get nasty _fast_. Not to mention once that door’s open it’d be impossible to close. And then Chloé might be evil but Mari’s kinda hesitant to throw things like _real prison time_ at her

But that doesn’t mean Marinette has to put up or play nice. 

Ladybug stops giving any fucks about Chloé outside of hunting for the miraculous she has. She’ll still save her but it’s the same way she’ll save a villain or a transfromed, brainwashed civilian who has no idea what’s happening. She has shot straight out of angry and has reached ‘done’. She doesn’t even acknowledge Chloé anymore, let alone speak to her.

And on the flip, Marinette – who’s class president and a natural leader and who in turns kicked up the biggest fuss over Chloé and offered the biggest olive branches – starts ignoring her entirely. The rest of the class follows suit. It’s not even a cold shoulder because that takes energy. It’s just a shutdown. Suddenly ‘inviting the whole class’ doesn’t include Chloé. Sabrina’s invitation are more ‘you’re welcome to come’. Suddenly Chloé finds herself passively isolated from basically everyone.

In response Chloé doubles down on her whole ‘then let me be evil’ thing.

    Chloé: [staring Ladybug dead in the eye] [swipes baby’s candy and smashes it on the ground.]  
Baby August: “Waah!! WaaAAah!!!”  
Butterfly: “~la de da de da~ Oooh! Somebody’s ~cranky~!”  
[cue Gigantitan]  
Ladybug: *Alfred-worthy sigh* “Come on Chat.”  
Chat: [stares sadly at Chloé] “Seriously Chloé?”  
Chloé: “It’s what I’m _good_ at isn’t it?”  
Chat: “Can’t you try being good at something else?”  
Chloé: “I **did.** And then you people took it away from me.”  
Chat: “Part of being a hero means doing what’s right. Even when things aren’t going your way. Sometimes it even means doing so even if that means actively working against your own happiness.”  
Chloé: [a moment of uncertainty where it looks like this might actually be getting through but in the end it’s still Chloé] “Ridiculous. Utterly Ridiculous.”

Bonus: ~~one~~ two texts sent to Jason

`come over the house quick bigass baby is back!!!!!`  
`oh and bring soda we’re out.`

* * *

Adrien slowly starts making inroads on the whole ‘I don’t like or trust Ladybug anymore’ thing.

  * He tries floating the idea that he’s lost faith in Ladybug after so long fighting with no progress. (short bursts only because otherwise he starts defending their progress)
  * He tries making it seem like he personally dislikes Ladybug for personal reasons. (wow is he bad at it)
  * He tries channeling the actual lingering negative feelings he had towards her and it still doesn’t work. (there’s not really enough left to work with here)
  * He tries talking about all the great wishes the ladybug and black cat miraculous could grant and if they were real heroes they would use their gifts rather than hoarding them (he has to physically bite his tongue to keep from saying things like ‘balance’ and ‘unintended side effects’ and ‘short-sighted self-destructive hubris’)



He’s not sure what tactic’s working but one of them is. He and Gabriel start occasionally having father/son meals. The topic is usually how horrible Ladybug is and/or how misunderstood and justified Hawkmoth is.

Adrien would like to return to denial now.

* * *

Adrien continues to be the wingmaniest of wingmen. He sees both sides of the Marinette/Damian/Ladybug/Robin ridiculousness. He’s not blind.

    Marinette: “There’s nothing between Damian and me.”  
Adrien: “Literal. Soulmates.”  
Marinette: “Platonics are a thing.”  
Adrien: “My Lady, you’ve got a track record for not realizing your own feelings until they smack you in the face. Then squashing them into tiny little balls of repression!”  
Marinette: “No I don’t. My crush on Adrien-you was embarrassingly self-actualized. And I didn’t squash my feelings, if anything they squashed me!”  
Adrien: “…I was actually talking about your crush on Chat-me.”  
Marinette: “Oh.”  
Adrien: “Or Luka.”  
Marinette: “And what about you? You thought I only liked you as a friend!”  
Adrien: “Yes, because I was an idiot. But **_I’m_** learning. Which means I can now recognize what you look like in love. It looks like when you think about Damian. And I know from personal experience what a boy in love you looks like. It looks like Damian.”  
Marinette: “I’m not afraid to get the pillow back out.”

One day he walks in on Marinette discussing one of Marinette’s newest designs. After gaping at how much Damian knows about fashion – solely because of Mari’s interest he’s sure of it – he escapes as quickly as possible because wow the third-wheeling is strong.

    Adrien: “Damian knows more about fashion than I do and I’m a professional model and the son of a world-class designer.”  
Nino: “Of course he does. Marinette loves it.”  
Alya: “And he loves Mari.”  
Adrien: “It’s painful to watch. At least Mari and I weren’t that bad back before.”  
Nino: “Dude. You guys were worse.”  
Adrien: “Really?”  
Alya: “Way worse. Especially Marinette.”  
Adrien: [quietly horrified] “I am so, so sorry you had to put up with that.”  
Nino: “So are we dude. So are we.”

~^~

Kagami tries to confess to Adrien. It goes less well than in canon. On one hand Adrien isn’t in love with Ladybug anymore and doesn’t have any conflicted feelings over that to worry about. On the other he does have the whole ‘my father is a supervillain’ thing instead.

They hash it out, Adrien brings out Kagami’s out ‘wrong target’ metaphor and stammers like an idiot. In the end it comes to _I do like you and might even like-like you but I have to deal with this thing I can’t tell you about first before I can even think about a relationship. Friends?_.

It’s not pretty. But no one ends up akumatized so we’ll count it as ‘close enough to success’.

Bonus #2

Tim walks in on Damian on a video call with Kagami and Marinette while Damian and Marinette are consoling her.

    Tim: [walks into Batcave] “Have there been any warps in reality lately? We need to check. All the usual sources: magic, tech, time and dimensional travel, fourth-dimensional visitors, all of it.”  
Bruce: “…why…?”  
Tim: “I just saw Damian defending Adrien Agreste to Kagami.”  
Bruce: “It’s called personal growth Tim. It’s a good thing, we should be encouraging it.”  
Tim: “You don’t think Damian’s been replaced, do you? Or maybe brainwashed? We should limit Marinette’s exposure to him. She’s a civilian, we don’t want anything to happen to her.”  
Bruce: “Sure Tim. Cut off your brother’s access to Marinette and see what happens. If he’s all sunshine rather than going back to trying to kill you we can talk dimensional shifts and bodysnatchers.” (Bruce stop encouraging fratricide)

~^~

One particularly bad idea that Marinette hadn’t realized she’d started down months ago – oh god it needs to stop she can’t stop she can’t make herself stop please help – has snowballed out of control – please stop why can’t she stop she can’t make herself stop – into… more than she thought it would. She may have kinda, sorta, _accidently_ started… talking up Robin. To Damian. A lot. And then it spiraled because Marinette does not know how to shup up and… yeah.

Damian’s convinced she has a crush on Robin. He is so hilariously happily/angrily confused about this. (Damian. We’ve talked about your lack of emotional capacity.) He is **absolutely** the type of person who would be jealous of himself.

Marinette only just got past her infatuation on pretty boy and now she’s mooning over some caped emo-twerp.

    Dick: “Isn’t that caped emo-twerp _you?_ ”

Let the razzing begin.

 _Somehow_ (I know how, it’s because I am the god creator of this story and I’m evil and therefore this amuses me) he ends up confiding in Ladybug about it.

Because humaning has always been hard for him and he’s not exactly drowning in people who know about Marinette and he can talk to who aren’t a) his family and already razzing him about it b) Marinette’s friends who would tell her c) Marinette herself.

    Ladybug: “So you’re jealous… of yourself.”  
Robin: “She doesn’t _know_ that it’s me. [beat] And I’m not jealous.”  
Ladybug: [conveniently forgetting that time she got mad that Chat would betray his love for Ladybug by even entertaining a meal with Marinette despite being the same person and claiming not to have any feelings for him] “You’re being ridiculous Birdy.”  
Robin: “She knows nothing about him.”  
Ladybug: “Him is _you_ Damian. Have you ever considered that she might like Robin because he reminds her of you? You know? Since he’s **_you?”_**  
Robin: Marinette is intelligent, confident, charismatic, noble both in bearing and nature, not to mention beautiful. She’s long been able to have her pick of suitors. She’s well aware of her own immeasurable worth and so – with the glaring exception of Agreste – has never bothered to pursue dalliances so far below her. Her natural equanimity and self-possession means she’s not prone to fawn blindly over fame and fortune like so many of her peers. Indeed instead all of the numerous celebrities she’s met, including superheroes such as yourself, have been awed by her, as should be expected given how perfect she is. [yes Damian, please continue effusively praise Marinette unknowingly to her face. I’m sure she can survive blushing that much.] But my point is, there is no reason for her to fall into the trap of simpleminded infatuation for some distant famous figure _now.”_  
[Marinette’s going to take a moment to breath and try not to implode. Kay? Kay.]  
Chat: [literally bursting onto the scene and stealing the phone.] “Gee. He swept into town just as her life was threatened by ninjas and fought them all off to protect her. Then visited her after just to make sure she was alright, which included one very intense moonlit hug on a balcony. And then he swung away into the night all sexy and mysterious-like to return home leaving her with just the memory of his embrace.”  
Robin: [can’t speak. Ladybug would _hear_ my blush. She is a colleague I need to keep my dignity. She can’t know I’m blushing.]  
Ladybug: “Chat I’m gonna kill you.”

So that’s a new topic of conversation for them. Marinette-as-Ladybug continues to try to… downplay? dissuade? comfort? Honestly she quickly loses track of her original intentions. 

It does not have quite the effect she was intending.

It’s fine all the way up until Marinette-as-Ladybug – because _Marinette_ – kinda, sorta, _accidently_ talks Robin up a bit too much. Again.

Because let’s face it, you are not reading this fic for ‘smart’ and if you are and haven’t figured it out yet good luck to ya.

     Batfam: [finding Damian sitting alone in the Batcave in the dark] “Um… Damian? You okay there?”  
Damian: [staring into the void] “I believe it may be possible that Ladybug has begun to possess feelings of a… romantic bend. For me.”

Razzing intensifies.

* * *

Adrien’s getting so close. He can _taste_ the evil. Just a little more and he’ll be in.

And then he screws up.

There’s an akuma, they’re turning people into paper cutouts. There’s a little kid in the line of fire and she looks absolutely terrified–

Adrien’s hero instincts flare up. He dives for the little girl and pulls her out of the way and to safety.

Pity he didn’t wait until he was in leather to do that.

He screwed up. He knows he screwed up. His relationship with Gabriel immediately shoots straight back down to artic.

Oops.

Mari comforts him about it while they strategize how to get him back in Hawkmoth’s good graces.

Because at some point they both actually committed to this stupid plan as their main course of action.

~^~

The chance comes about a week later. Mylène gets akumatized. It’s not Adrien’s fault. But his backpack does feature heavily. I’m too lazy to come up with a full story but be assured it is stupid and convoluted and involves such wonderful ‘pulled by chance spitting in fate’s face’ things as someone tripping over Adrien’s backpack which makes them hit someone else, who turns around, which causes their shoe to knock a jacket which falls on a passing dog, which blinds him, which makes him run into the construction site……

Do the work for me and fill it in in the comments if you so want.

    Ladybug: “Chat! This is your chance to prove you’re evil! You caused this akuma!”  
Chat: “But I didn’t!”  
Ladybug: “I know that. We’re going to frame you for it!”  
Chat: I do _not_ like this plan.”  
Ladybug: “I don’t either but it’s our best bet. Now quick detransform and go destroy that poster! Make sure Mayura sees you and be sure to lurk and look suspicious like you’re getting rid of evidence.”  
Chat: “I _really_ do not like this plan.”  
Ladybug: “It’s this or have you actually cause an akuma.”  
Chat: “So should I set it on fire or do you think just ripping it into confetti is enough?”

* * *

Adrien finally finds the right inroad.

He tries mentioning his mother. (he nearly pukes.)

But it works.

Gabriel takes him into his office. Pushes the secret painting buttons of evil, takes him down in the secret floor tube of evil, leads him into the into the secret butterfly conservatory of evil and shows him where the magic happens. Literally.

And then he takes him down to the creepy underground solarium where his mother’s Snow Whiting.

    Adrien: “M-Maman?”  
Gabriel: “Yes. This is why I’m doing everything. I shall take Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculouses and I shall use the wish they grant me to bring your mother back. And we shall be a family again. The three of us.”

Adrien should be given a medal. He doesn’t run. He doesn’t scream or cry. He doesn’t freak out (externally anyway). He doesn’t admit to being Chat Noir. I’d say he doesn’t break character but really it’s more he stays semi-functional even while completely emotionally shutting down. He stands there and continues to play ‘perfect evil son’ until Gabriel gets a call and they leave.

    Gabriel: “We’ll bring your mother back. Together.”  
Adrien: [still on autopilot] *nods* “Together.”

And then he books it to Marinette’s and _Completely Breaks Down._

Cue World’s Largest Freak out.

    Hawkmoth: “I sense the despair of a son who’s been betrayed by his father. Fly my little akuma and akumatize him!” (you are the worst. Parent. Ever. Except maybe Talia. Maybe. And she caused her son’s death and eventually followed it up by stabbing his soulmate. You rank a ‘maybe’ against _that_ )  
Butterfly: “I am here for the boy.”  
Marinette: _“You even look at my kitty and I will **cut** you.”_  
Butterfly: “Oh god how is she even scarier than then sword guy!”  
Hawkmoth: “Wait, no! Go back there and do your job! What do I pay you for?”  
Butterfly: “You don’t pay me at all!”

(For the purposes of this story Hawkmoth can sense and target negative emotions but not who specifically is having them. There’s a reason he keeps that tablet with a live-stream of any videos of the fight squirreled away with him. If Adrien actually got akumatized it’d be another story but with Mari around no butterfly’s stupid enough to even get within a hundred yards of him.)

So, uhh… Confirmation. That’s. Really different, emotionally speaking, from just ‘knowing’ he’s evil. Especially when you throw in the surprise addition of doesn’t-have-to-be-dead mom.

Upshot. Confirmation. Hawkmoth’s not the only one making plans anymore.

Time to shift our strategies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The butterfly statuette is Marinette’s. She bought it to use as a magical effigy of the akumas. She’s trying out some guardian magic ~*~woohhooowwoooowooo~*~  
> It hasn’t been going so great so far.  
> Don’t expect her to get much better before the end of this story.
> 
> Real-person question for a minute – is Emilie actually dead and Gabe’s keeping her body in cryo-cold-storage (super creepy btw) or is this a Mrs. Freeze situation where she was like an inch from death when her husband stuck her in stasis until he could find a cure?  
> (…slightly less creepy? maybe?) I don’t know about the original French/other languages but I can’t remember them ever using “dead” in the English? And I can’t decide if this is typical ‘don’t use dead in a kid’s show’ idiocy or if she’s not dead-dead just in a magic coma.  
> Opinions? Thoughts?  
> this may directly effect the epilogue


	9. Strip Away the Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But not that one.  
> You know the one I’m talking about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter. We're clearing the decks so the next chapter can start us on our final turn.  
> Also, it seems you guys are pretty much all agreed that Emilie is not dead but in a magic coma. I will be keeping that in mind, and messing with it in a variety of ways, so keep an eye out for that.

Sooo.

It’s…

Pooossssiiiible…

That there may be some…

Unforeseen consequences.

To throwing Adrien in with Hawkmoth.

Like the fact that now that Adrien’s all in on team _Evil Butterfly Family_ Gabriel expects him to join his jackass squad and start actively making akumas.

…

Yaaaaaay.

At first they’re thinking ‘oh it’ll be fine we don’t need to worry about it now that we’ve got confirmation we can go in and kick his ass like next week as soon as Adrien gets enough intel.’

They quickly figure out that’s not going to be quite the case.

     Marinette: “Have you found out where Gabriel keeps his miraculous yet?”  
Adrien: “Yeah, about that… he won’t show me and Nooroo can’t tell me. I think he wears it all the time.”  
Marinette: “Great. And Nathalie’s miraculous?”  
Adrien: “Not a single clue.”  
Marinette: “So no sneaking them away.”  
Adrien: “Not likely.”

    Marinette: “What if we go for it when he’s asleep.”  
Adrien: “I’m… not actually sure he does.”  
Marinette: “What, sleep?”  
Adrien: “Yeah.”

    Adrien: “The picture of my Mother, that hides all the secret everythings, if you try to press any of the secret buttons in it an alarm is sent to my father and Nathalie. And if you try to break in the secret underground tube is booby trapped.”  
Marinette: “Your father is a paranoid nutcase.”

    Adrien: “Guess what I learned today? That cane Hawkmoth carries around everywhere? Has a fully evil-charged akuma in the hollow top part at all times.”  
Marinette: “Even if we cut him off he’ll have at least one akuma that he can either pit against us or send out to wreak havoc and pull us away.”  
Plagg: “And all of Duusu’s feathers, which Mayura always has access to.”  
Tikki: “Plagg, stop making everything worse.”  
Plagg: “Bad news is what I do, Sugarcube.”

    Marinette: “You brought a pie.”  
Adrien: “…yes?”  
Marinette: “How bad is your news that you brought a _baker’s daughter_ bribery pie?”  
Adrien: “Well I would have brought a roll of fancy fabric but your soulmate’s got that covered.”  
Marinette: “Adrien. Quit stalling and just tell me.”  
Adrien: [flops down on Mari’s bed] “So. It turns out Father’s dome that he does all his lording over akumas in is full of missiles. Lots and lots of missiles.”  
Marinette: “…throw that bland fake pie out, we’re getting real food. Let’s see if we can drown our problems in sugar.”

Clearly this is going to be a longer haul than they thought. Which brings us back around to the ‘Gabriel expects Adrien to be full evil’ thing.

Our heroes scramble to find ways to fake it.

    Rena: “So you didn’t give me my miraculous so I could help you in the fight.”  
Ladybug: “Yes.”  
Rena: “Instead, you want me to hide and make an illusion of Adrien carrying flags across the courtyard and stashing them in the closet.”  
Ladybug: “Exactly.”  
Rena: “The same flags that Standard Bearer got akumatized over.”  
Ladybug: “That is correct.”  
Rena: “You want me to _frame_ Adrien for the akumatization.”  
Ladybug: “That is also correct.”  
Rena: “You are my leader and my hero and I practically worship the ground you walk on, so _just this once_ I will do this. But you’d better have a **_damn good reason._** ”  
Chat: “Thank you! The other option was flooding the gym and hoping for the worst.”  
Rena: “…I’m not even going to ask.”

Some are… more effective than others.

    Marinette: “Maybe if you just rub your hands together gleefully while looking really evil?”  
Adrien: “Mari I say this as your partner and your friend. There is something wrong in your brain. Obviously I’m going to need a fake mustache to twirl too.”

And their attempt to discretely feel out ideas doesn't quite work.

    Chat: “Soo… _Hypothetically_. If someone needed to pretend to be evil but didn’t want to _actually_ turn people into akumas – because yeah, no that’s awful we’re not doing that – but needed to _fake_ it, what would be the best way to go about it? Hypothetically.”  
Robin: “Clearly you’ve lost what little lucidity you had. I’m calling Ladybug and informing her her partner has lost his mind.”  
[calls Ladybug]  
Ladybug: “Soo… _Hypothetically_. If someone was pretending to be evil and needed to get around being expected to make akumas, what would be the best way to fake that?”

~^~

This plan starts breaking apart _fast_.

They need that new strategy and they need it **_now._**

They contact Robin. For real this time.

They need an _informed_ perspective from someone with more long-game chess board strategy skills rather than ‘so mindboggling crazy it can’t _not_ work’ and ‘well it hasn’t killed me yet’. Robin’s not the best at the whole ‘think before you stab’ thing but he’s still got more experience than them and he comes with a whole family who’ve made it into an art form.

They’re not ready to part with all their oh so precious secrets (you didn’t think it would really be that easy, did you guys?) but they need help. They tell Robin **–part–** of the truth: Hawkmoth is Chat Noir’s father, Hawkmoth does not know Chat is his son, Chat conned him into telling him everything by pretending to be evil, Hawkmoth now thinks Chat is onboard on the evil.

Robin would like them to know they’re both idiots. Chat he’s not surprised about but Ladybug he wants you to know he’s disappointed. He expects smarter from you. Troubleshooting the first, Hawkmoth’s clearly never had trouble finding _someone_ in a city of more than 2 million having a bad day. Sell yourself as a double agent who can cozy up to Ladybug, gain her trust and betray her. (we’re going full triple agent here)

~^~

Surprise surprise the rest of the batfam are all nosy gossips and have all crowded into the cave to join the conversation before the phone call’s even over. And just like that Batman’s running the show and this has become one supercharged interrogation.

The first thing he wants to know is if Chat Sr. has a motivation or if he’s just doing this for the evils.

    Chat: “He wants to use his wish to bring my maman back?”  
Batman: “What wish?”  
Ladybug: *rundown of the wish granting power of their combined miraculous and side-effects*  
Batman: “He’s a fucking idiot.”

Resurrections are tricky, narratively speaking. And unless you’re the protagonist in a Disney film never free. Any method favored by a hubristic villain’s going to have some serious costs. Throw in magic, literal gods of creation and destruction and a heavy focus on ‘balance’ and ‘the natural way of things’ and you’ve just got a recipe for disaster.

Absolute Best Case scenario it works exactly as advertised a straight, one-to-one trade off, the universe has a sense of irony and he dies in Emile’s place. Not freaking likely.

From there going down the list, it could kill a random innocent. Gabriel could have control over who kicks it and chooses Ladybug. He could not have any control the universe goes super irony and chooses Adrien which causes Hawkmoth to start the whole thing up _again_ , ad nauseum.

And that’s **_IF_** the wish goes as advertised.

Narratively, bringing someone back, not saving them or stopping them from dying but _bringing them **back**_ , is a way bigger buy in and doing so throws the balance of things off _more_ than just a clean one-to-one switch. Bruce has been around the resurrection block a few times. He’s seen the clean happy miracles that give you back a loved one, outside anyone’s hands or expectations. He’s also seen the _ABSOLUTE **SHIT**_ that can happen instead. The failed resurrections that kill the caster, continue to spiral out of control, create a literal pile of bodies as people try to stop it, begin to warp reality itself and only end when you finally re-kill whatever abomination that was once little Billy.

There’s a reason that for all Bruce got _extremely_ lucky getting both his sons back healthy and (eventually) sane he never went out looking for a way to do so. He’ll take the gift when outside forces return them but he’s not willing to play existential Russian roulette with the rest of the people he loves by trying for it himself.

Bruce does not approve of Gabriel’s plan.

Damian, as a former corpse himself, agrees with Bruce.

~^~

    [after they get off the phone with the Batfam]  
Adrien: “Well that was a productive phone call. I feel energized. How about you? We should do something, shouldn’t we. Celebrate. This is the fewest secrets we’ve ever had. We should throw a party. You, me, Plagg and Tikki. Some cookies, some gooey, stinky cheese, a cake, maybe some underage drinking. Or a lot of underage drinking. Like drink until we forget the mental horror show Batman painted for us.”  
Marinette: “You are literally pretending to be evil in order to destroy your only chance at getting your mother back and yesterday I had to chuck my burner phone across the room because Ladybug nearly teased Damian about the failed crème brûlée he told Marinette about.”  
Adrien: “So that’s a no to the party?”  
Marinette: “It’s a ‘you find us a day with guaranteed no attacks and then we drink until even Plagg starts to worry.”

~^~

Meanwhile over in the cave two dozen different contingencies for ‘evil and/or too conflicted to follow through’ Chat Noir have already been created, with more to come. Most of the contingencies operate under the assumption that Ladybug will either be unwilling or unable to take him out cleanly in a first attempt. A good chunk of those contingencies rely on Robin using Chat’s trust in him and the element of surprise to be able to slip under his guard and take him out. Damian agrees this is the smartest course of action. But he’s also got that blank-faced, dead-eyed look that he had all the time right after he first came to them from the League of Assassins, which had slowly gone away over the years and all but vanished when he started regularly talking with Marinette. Everyone else quietly agrees that smartest choice or not if it does come to it they’re sending literally anyone else other than Damian.

~^~

Adrien settles into being fake-evil. A wine night is never actually had. More the pity. Adrien loses any respect he had left for his father. You’d think being evil would have done it. Nope. It’s seeing behind the curtain to the _sheer stupidity_ that is Hawkmoth’s operations.

    Adrien: “Your akuma trapped me in the trunk of a car.”  
Gabriel: “I’m sorry son. She was _supposed_ to be looking for Chat Noir.”  
Adrien: “Do I _look_ like Chat Noir?”  
Gabriel: “Of course not. something something unprofessional akuma.”  
Adrien: “Unprofessional. Father, you akumatized an eight-year-old who was upset her brother accidently spilled paint on her shoes.”  
Gabriel: “I’ll admit it wasn’t my finest choice. Ladybug and Chat Noir got away today. But next time they won’t be so lucky. Just wait, very soon we will succeed!”  
Adrien: “You need to be more discerning with your akumas. Seriously. _Strategize your akumatizations._ ”

Adrien’s little advice outburst could go two ways

  1. Adrien just accidentally shot himself and Ladybug in the foot and Hawkmoth’s going to start getting better and better at throwing out akumas and akuma combinations that are more and more effective and dangerous. The quintessential quality over quantity. Next thing you know they’re looking at a _real_ threat from him. The tension builds as the fights get more and more dangerous. They can’t count on the akumas tripping themselves up anymore. Suddenly defeat is a very real option.
  2. Gabriel _tries_ to be more discerning/intelligent with his akuma picks. But he has all the tactical prowess of a molding turnip. Adrien is more than willing to pretend to have the sense of a molding turnip. Nathalie would hold the single (available for evil) braincell but she’s a doormat and trying to hide her newly returned headaches so…



In a real, serious person fic the answer would be option 1 but I’m not writing a ‘real’ fic and my desire to make our heroes lives harder is _vaaastly_ outweighed by my desire to mock Gabriel ‘I’m so S-M-R-T I akumatized Mr. Pigeon two dozen times’ Agreste. Option 2 it is!

Which means our team get a little break and to laugh at his expense before Hawkmoth decides strategy is for suckers, back to relying on dumb luck (extra dumb) and overwhelming through sheer numbers.

~^~

Now that Mari and Adrien are finally starting to get their act together hero-wise the universe decides to throw them a bone.

Lila has to go with her mother to, I don’t know, Lubbock (google’s answer to ‘most boring city in america’) for a week or two. She comes back with glamorous stories of visiting Gotham and being saved by Batman and Robin themselves.

Marinette sits bolt upright at the mention of Gotham. At the mention of Robin, she starts snickering.

Adrien ‘helpfully’ prompts Lila to continue. (it’s entirely possible playing evil has knocked some of the shine off our golden boy)

And here’s where Lila truly seeds her social downfall. She starts in on meeting Bruce Wayne. And his son, Damian.

Marinette starts laughing her ass off. She buries her head in her desk and just cackles.

Lila’s pissed now. How dare that prissy self-righteous nobody laugh at her. She responds by doubling down. He’s their age you know. And very handsome. So of course Lila claims he immediately fell in love with her. And they had a whirlwind romance and it broke his heart when she left and he swore to never forget her and that he’d never love someone the same way as he loved her. So very romantic.

Marinette is having trouble breathing she’s laughing so much.

Adrien ‘‘helpfully’’ pulls out his phone and shows everyone a picture of Damian Wayne. Lila has no idea why a huge chunk of the normally oh so gullible idiots start muttering and glancing at her. A couple even start glaring at her. Lila has no idea where she went wrong.

She’s saved by little miss perfect Marinette of all people.

    Marinette: [manages to choke out while still laughing hysterically] “It’s okay, she can’t help it. She’s got this really rare disease that just makes her lie sometimes. It just happens. It’s what made her accuse me of taking her mother’s necklace and fake me pushing her down the stairs.”

Which– She and Marinette _both_ know that was a lie.

Adrien ‘‘‘helpfully’’’ says he remembers Lila telling him _aalllll_ about it.

All the sheep are still staring. “Oh! Yeah, totally!”

Adrien ‘‘‘‘helpfully’’’’ points out that Marinette always seems to be on the wrong end of Lila’s ‘disease’.

    entire class: [breaks into a round of even more frantic whispering] _“…Damian Wayne… …fairytale… …never said anything… …Marinette’s… …what? no way… …she totally……do you really think… …one of the richest… …told him to say hi to… …Damian **Wayne** …”_  
Marinette: [once her laughter _finally_ winds down] [stands up] “Some people prefer to keep certain things private. Both of us are that that type of person.” [fucking gliding out of there like a boss, Adrien on following in her wake]

Lila assumes she means her and Adrien. She’s totally secretly dating Adrien and is just rubbing Lila’s face in it now. That little tramp. (oh Lila, you are so wrong, on so many fronts.)

She doubles down again. Yes her disease is so tragic and sad and hard. She’s terrified of the day it makes her hurt someone she cares about and she can’t fix it. It’s part of the reason she can’t have a real relationship with Damian yet. He’s already dedicated a whole bunch of money towards medical research for it. So they can be together some day.

Wrong move Lila. Wrong move.

And just like that Lila’s social reign of lies and manipulation begins to crumble. Because Lila does not deserve a proper takedown. Lila deserves the social version of the lurking villain getting knocked out by an oblivious bystander trying to swat a fly.

~^~

Damian walks around puffed out like a peacock for weeks for his part in taking down Lila even though he didn’t do anything except be rich and famous and attractive lie-bait.

~^~

The gossip that Marinette’s soulmate – her cold, standoffish, utterly completely head over heels _gone_ for Marinette soulmate – is such a secret because he’s _Damian Wayne_ goes supersonic. And yet somehow never leaks out into the world at large.

Chloé has become a bitter little ball of loneliness. It’s been a cycle. Bitterness left her alone which made her more bitter which in turn drives people further off… Yeah. Quick to learn from her mistakes this girl ain’t. At this point even Sabrina’s not standing with her anymore. The only one she has left is her Adrikins. He’s seen how horrible everyone else has been came over more this last month than all the other months since he had since he started school combined. It’s so sweet.

And then she catches him rummaging through her closet muttering about hair clips and miraculouses.

Adrien gets thrown out on his ear. 

Mid ear-throwing an akuma floats in. Adrien’s ready to freak when Chloé pulls an encore to her rejecting the akuma show. Adrien’s just standing there shook when Chloé rounds back on him.

Why does he keep pissing off terrifying people who are so scary butterflies won’t even try it? Ear-throwing commences.

~^~

That’s it. Chloé is **done.** She doesn’t want to see Ladybug or Chat Noir or Hawkmoth or any other stupid miraculous holder again. She doesn’t want to hear about them, she doesn’t want to talk about them. All they’ve done is left her betrayed and isolated and alone and lost her her oldest, last friend in the whole world. (best friends forever. he broke his pinky promise) She. Is. **Done.**

~^~

    Gabriel: “Adrien, why were you attempting to undercut one of our allies?”  
Adrien: [channeling every villain in every anime’s he’s ever watched] “I thought maintaining a level of control over our minions was a good thing?”  
Gabriel: “By stealing her miraculous and alienating her to the point she’s no longer helping us?”  
Adrien: “I– uh…”  
Gabriel: [freezes like a cartoon dog who just saw a squirrel] “This will have to wait. Someone just stubbed their toe and is pissed about it.”

    Robin: “Tell him you were going to use it as a trap to get the Miracle Box. You’re his Ladybug double agent, aren’t you? If you were to approach her with one of the missing miraculouses and asked her to bring the miracle box with her so it could be returned to its rightful place you could steal the entire thing.”  
Chat: “You’re scarily ruthless sometimes, you know that?”  
Robin: “You’re pretending to be evil and your partner faked my soulmate’s death in front of me.”  
Chat: “Fair.”

* * *

So you may have noticed that this fic is mostly focused on the ML canon. This trend will continue as we go into our final stretch. But there would be a small side plot focusing on Arkham. There’s a huge jailbreak in Arkham, as you do, and pretty much the entire Batman catalogue of villains got out and all decided to celebrate by wrecking some shit.

Ivy’s invaded the park and taken all the dogwalkers hostage. Penguin’s taken over an entire city block that contains the office of a tabloid that wrote a bad article on him. Joker’s lurking near the warehouse district. Jazzman’s making a play for the big leagues. Riddler’s planted bombs in a game show. Bane’s attacking City Hall. Two-Face’s running around with a grenade launcher and a coin. Clayface’s pulling a ‘Where’s Waldo: super advanced version’. Killer Croc’s relaxing by taking out boats down by the bay. Manbat’s been spotted in downtown. Lord Death Man’s back. (I love wikis sometimes I really do)

If this were to be written as a ‘real prose’ fic there’d be an entire full chapter only in Gotham dedicated to the Batfam scrambling to recapture everyone.

Everyone’s stressed and injured in some way or another and absolutely exhausted. Tensions are running high. It’s an honest to god miracle the inter-team bickering hasn’t escalated to bloodshed and before this is over someone is going to snap. But they’re handling it. This is the Batfamily and this is what they do and who needs a healthy emotional psyche anyway? Seriously, just a full chapter of spinning the Rogue roulette wheel and dragging the bats through hell.

Just as things are finally, finally starting to wind down Robin catches a faceful of fear gas.

Guess who has processed exactly **none** of the trauma of thinking he saw his soulmate die in front of him?

It’s an absolute shitshow.

    Dick: “…Why is the antitoxin not working?”  
Bruce: “It appears Dr. Crane used his time in Arkham to mentally rework his formula and is now testing it. We can’t do anything until we discover what he’s changed.”  
Dick: **_“Fuck.”_**

Absolute. Shitshow.

~^~

Marinette’s been watching the news. She sees Robin take the faceful of toxin. She sees him go down. She hears him start to scream before Red Hood breaks the news camera.

Hey look, Damian sounds like how Marinette never wanted to hear him again!

Marinette immediately calls the Waynes. It takes two hours for anyone to even pick up and when they finally do she’s given the least subtle runaround in human history.

Finally Marinette snaps. Rather than call Dick’s number again she goes through Ladybug’s contacts and dials Nightwing’s.

    Marinette: [as soon as Dick picks up, not even giving him a chance to say a single syllable] “I know Damian’s Robin I know he was hit by fear gas I know he thought he saw me die when he was here about the ninja thing and if he’s conscious you will put me through to him right now or _so help me Dick Grayson_ _I will make you regret it for the rest of your **life.**_ ”

Ah. So that’s why Marinette is Damian’s soulmate. She’s fucking terrifying.

Good to know.

(Needless to say, Dick caves. He has self-preservation instincts thank you very much)

~^~

Once Damian’s (mostly) fully recovered he and Marinette are due for one very awkward conversation

    Damian: “Ladybug told you.”  
Marinette: [oh crap I can’t let him think Ladybug-me betrayed him by telling me-me] “No! I… uh recognized… your voice?”  
Damian: [INSTANT SUSPICION] “I was wearing a voice changer.”  
Marinette: “Your voice-changer thing wasn’t the best?”  
Damian: [even more suspicion] “It was top-line battech.”  
Marinette: [oh crap I should have just let him think Ladybug-me betrayed his trust] “Yeah! I mean, no! I mean– I didn’t recognize it! But it was… familiar? Yeah that’s it! Your voice was familiar. I mean, _Robin’s_ voice was familiar. And I could have sworn I knew it but I didn’t know how. And then I was watching Gotham’s news cause I do that sometimes– Not all the time! Just sometimes! Because you live in Gotham. You-you not Robin-you. I mean obviously Robin lives in Gotham too all of Gotham’s heroes live in Gotham where else would they live–”  
Damian: “Marinette.”  
Marinette: “Right. Sorry. So anyway I was watching the news and I heard Robin say something and I recognized you then?”  
[that… could work actually. Damian doesn’t wear a voice changer normally and unlike Marinette he doesn’t have a handy glamour protecting him]  
Damian: “And Ladybug told you about her illusion because…?”  
Marinette: [crapcrapcrapcrap why can’t I ever keep myself from saying something I shouldn’t around these people?] “Ladybug said she didn’t feel right using my image without telling me?”

And a few days later, an even more awkward conversation between Robin and Ladybug.

    Robin: …  
Robin: …  
Robin: …  
Ladybug: “Hello? Robin?”  
Robin: …  
Ladybug: “Is anyone ther–”  
Robin: “Marinette knew I’m Robin.”  
Ladybug: “I didn’t tell her!”  
Robin: “She figured it out.”  
Ladybug: “That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”  
Robin: “She knew about your illusion.”  
Ladybug: “Ah. That. Right.”  
Robin: “Why does my soulmate know I saw her fake-die?”  
Ladybug: “It felt wrong to use her image without informing her about it?”

~^~

Damian gets so conflicted over demanding to know why Marinette didn’t tell him she knew and the fact that doing so opens the door to all the emotions.

Marinette finally gets to have that conversation with Damian about ‘what did you mean by _killed_ ’ that she’s been going literally insane over.

There’s a lot of long-overdue talks actually. About patrols and fights and injuries Marinette absolutely knows about. About his childhood in the League of Assassins. About his grandfather and all his plans. About the rules and the pressure and the fear and the only bright spot of her voice at risk of being snatched away every day (wow she did not make the most of punching Talia, she’d like a do-over please). About the crumbled folded-up note in the back of Marinette’s Damian-notebook. There’s good things too. Patrol stories and learning to be human, learning to be good. News stories of Robin saving a little girl that Marinette also absolutely knows about. Flying for the first time as Robin. 

For the first time ever there are no secrets between them. (ha. …ha…)

Damian is **_absolutely_** fine with Marinette having a crush on Robin now. Now if only Ladybug would get over hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus  
> 
> 
>     Dick: “Sooo… how exactly did you get my Nightwing number?”  
> Marinette: “I… blackmailed Ladybug for it?”  
> Dick: [chokes] “I see. That’s– That’s good to know.”  
> Fucking Terrifying.
> 
> I swear this thing is getting more and more interactive.  
> I still have no clue which of the reserve heroes I'm dragging into the final fight  
> Or more accurately, I have no clue if I'm dragging everyone in or leaving Max and Kim out as a preventative against 'too many balls in the air'


	10. Fall For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m Going Under  
> So Tell Me What To Do  
> I’ve Got Nothing To Hold On To  
> Let Me Fall For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for something completely different. More than half this chapter is just straight prose. For those of you who read this for the writing style, have no fear! We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled BS next time

We start the chapter on a high note.

Mayura faints mid-battle and falls off a roof.

What? Roofs are high.

Chat freaks out. Ladybug catches her but she wakes up before she can grab the pin. Mayura runs off. Adrien catches up with her and smuggles her into the car. (he also tries to snag the pin but can’t)

~^~

Marinette’s been translating the grimoire but it’s been slow going. There’s a lot of it and it’s in a language she doesn’t understand, just had magically dumped in her brain with _no context_ and even what little she has figured out is archaic and confusing and switches between obsessively poetic and insanely literal seemingly at complete random and– it’s a lot. And unless one of those monks from the no-longer-eaten temple want to swing on by for a visit she’s on her own.

She’s been prioritizing.

This is smart.

It’s also a mistake.

She’s mostly been focusing on breaking power limits for her and Chat, possible tricks Hawkmoth might pull and try to hunt down a Guardian 101: Intro to the Basics (so far unsuccessful).

Master Fu had been looking into repairing the peacock miraculous before he pulled a ‘new brain, who dis?’. Hawkmoth’s claimed to have fixed it and Mayura’s been up and about and kicking their asses halfway down the Seine to prove it. Marinette assumes Fu had translated the answer and Hawkmoth used it. Marinette is prioritizing and this isn’t one.

This is understandable.

It is also a _super_ mistake.

Well translating the ‘fixing miraculouses’ chapter is damn well a priority now.

~^~

Gabriel and Nathalie have another round of _it’s not safe and I’m going to make noises about you stopping but I’m totally going to ask you to do it again_ – the first round Adrien gets to be a part of. Adrien freaks out ~~a little~~ a lot.

    Adrien: [all the acting skill of a stage-fright stricken middle-schooler] “Maybe all the miraculous are just innately super evil and secretly want to destroy their wielders. Maybe we should toss them all in a volcano or something after we wish Maman better. [he’s really stumbling here. Seriously, F- performance. Fortunately Gabriel’s too self-absorbed to notice.] But until we get ahold of them maybe we should have Mayura back off. She’s already been hurt by using the peacock before you fixed [full stumble on that word. Good thing Gabe’s not really listening anymore] it. I’m sure we can wait at least until she’s feeling better. Or maybe stop attacking at all for a while. Let’s see if no akumas makes them drop their guard so I can cozy up and steal them.”  
Gabriel: “No. We’re too close to stop now. And if the miraculouses really are evil we need to take Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculouses away from them as soon as possible. For their own good. We escalate instead.” [I’ve said fuck Hawkmoth before yes? Well Fuck Him.]

~^~

    Marinette: “Hawkmoth didn’t fix the peacock miraculous.”  
Adrien: “He didn’t?”  
Marinette: “He didn’t because he can’t.”  
Adrien: “Why not? Because he’s pretty sure he did.”  
Marinette: “He can’t because he’s not me.”  
Adrien: “…You've lost me My Lady.”  
Marinette: “The Guardian is in charge of watching over and taking care of the miraculouses. Which includes fixing them when they’re damaged. I am _literally_ the only one who can fix them.”  
…  
Yaaaaaaay

~^~

Mayura goes out again.

Two days later Nathalie collapses. She stops breathing for nearly thirty seconds.

Adrien, playing good little minion, gets her to the hospital, makes the necessary excuses and diverts attention.

He sits in the uncomfortable hospital chair – alone – and tries not to think about his mother visiting the hospital for ‘fainting spells’ a month before she disappeared.

Marinette comes to the hospital under the guise of bringing him schoolwork. Adrien looks at her, grim-faced and clutching the tablet that holds the grimoire and he _knows_.

~^~

A side-effect of the peacock miraculous being only _partially_ fixed? All those side-effects Nathalie’s been powering through pile up and then dump on her all at once **_to seriously bite her in the ass._**

This is not ‘still dangerous just not as much’ this is paper over the cracks until the dam breaks entirely. This is ‘this **will** _kill_ her’. And **soon.**

~^~

Nathalie gets out of the hospital in five days. Gabriel will no doubt spend a few days pretending he’s not willing to risk Nathalie before he sends her out again. A week if they’re lucky.

One week.

Two. If they’re lucky.

There is no more time for waiting.

They are out of it.

Marinette makes a decision.

In eight days they storm Agreste Manor and they end this.

Ready or not they are doing this.

* * *

    Marinette: “We’ve been beating our heads against the wall trying to come up with a way to take down Hawkmoth for months. We need a plan of attack, a real plan not a pulled by the seat of our pants plan. We need help.”  
Adrien: “You want to tell Robin.”  
Marinette: “It’s your identity, your choice.”  
Adrien: “Never thought I’d see the day when you were pushing to expand the cone of knowledge to outsiders. But then I guess Robin’s not an outsider, is he?”

    Marinette: “The time for secrets and stalling is over.”  
Adrien: “They’ll find out when Gabriel gets arrested anyways. Might as well do it now. Get it over with.”

They call the Batfam. Have the ‘Hi I’m Chat Noir, also known as Adrien Agreste and yeah that makes Hawkmoth Gabriel’ reveal. The Batfam cares very little about that second part in the face of their all but adopted little brother being a superhero and the son of a supervillain and has been pretending to be mock evil and oh my god Adrien’s trapped in a house full of supervillains.

It’s… not the reaction Adrien was expecting.

Gee. It’s almost like everyone involved in this conversation loves your or something.

    Adrien’s idea of breaking the tension:  
“So, Dick, don’t think I didn’t notice that you routinely stole my puns to use against other me. In both directions.”  
“And hey Tim assuming I get to keep my house once everything shakes out and I’m not forced to go on the run and hide out on Mari’s balcony living off leftover croissants do you think I can convert my father’s evil lair into a superhero headquarters? Because the giant window/spotlight thing is seriously cool. Ooh! We could call it ‘Chat’s Crib’!”

Ladybug explains about the broken miraculous and their much more urgent time crunch so if you could help us plan a lair crashing for a week from Thursday that’d be great, thanks!

The Batfam’s immediate solution: We’ll ALL be there by tomorrow night.

Guys. France still has a ‘Superheroes piss off’ policy. You can’t all just storm Paris that’s like the opposite of subtle.

Ladybug and Chat use Kaalki to warp tube to the Batcave so plans can be hashed out more thoroughly. (and so there’s less risk of someone overhearing Ladybug yell that they can’t ALL come to Paris for the twentieth time)

It’s going to be a daytime fight – potential akumas is outweighed by unfamiliar territory in the dark. The ‘I am the Night’ Batfam is downright itchy at the idea. A school day because Hawkmoth won’t expect an opening move from them during school time.

Strategies are gone over. Not public record but the Batfam get their hands on then anyway floorplans are marked up. Adrien lays out where all the various traps he knows about are. The other reserve heroes are talked about. Potential strengths and drawbacks are discussed. The ‘you can’t all storm Paris’ point is argued over. At length.

It’s Batman of all people who backs Ladybug on this being a locals only operation. Ladybug and Chat Noir are the ones that actually understand what it’s like on the ground. And while it’s true that if there’s one hero group with fanatical emotional control/repression it’s the Batfam, it’s also true that if there’s one hero group that’s just a seething pit of dysfunction and emotional pile-ups it’s the Batfam.

    Ladybug has Kaalki open a portal to bring them back to Paris before saying goodbye to the Batfam.  
Ladybug: “Honestly if anyone should come it’s Robin. He’s got the most knowledge about everything going on and he’s got experience fighting an akuma.”  
Robin: “Agreed. I’ll arrive Wednesday, 1:00am. I’ll meet you on the same roof we met on last time.”  
Ladybug: “Wait no that’s not what I–” [Chat pulls her through the portal before it can disappear]

    Marinette: [staring blankly at the space where Kaalki’s portal was] “…Kitty?”  
Adrien: “Yeah?”  
Marinette: “Did I just invite my soulmate to the incredibly dangerous final boss battle?”  
Adrien: “Yes you did.”  
Marinette: “Kitty?”  
Adrien: “Yeah?”  
Marinette: [lucky charms up a mallet] “Hit me with this until I stop saying stupid things in front of Damian please.”  
Adrien: [uses pillow instead] “Feel better?”  
Marinette: “Is Robin still coming?”  
Adrien: “Yes.”  
Marinette: “Then no.”

* * *

The prep work begins. Marinette as Marinette scopes out the outside of Agreste Manor, planting kwami food-drops and anything that might be useful in a fight in strategic hiding places. Marinette as Ladybug scouts aerial views. Adrien as Adrien scouts the inside of Agreste Manor. Adrien as Chat blocks off larger sewer access just in case there really is a hidden entrance/exit he missed.

Tuesday Hawkmoth makes an akuma. Nathalie’s (fortunately) still benched. The hardest part of the fight actually comes from overthinking if too sound a defeat will piss Hawkmoth off and prod him into trying again immediately or if too close of one will make him want to press his advantage and try again immediately.

Adrien gets to use his ‘loyal minion’ punchcard (get through ten akumas gracefully and earn yourself a free rant!) to convince Gabriel to bid his time until Nathalie’s… recovered then strike hard rather than keep throwing weaksauce akumas out there.

Tuesday night rolls into Wednesday morning and Robin arrives. Ladybug absolutely does not have yet another panic attack over it. They hash out the last few details with him, going over where supplies were hidden, what the weak points were, the final tweaks to the battle plan and any contingencies for it. Robin… may have come up with a few more contingencies in the last few days.

What? Hawkmoth’s akumas have proven their powers can be literally anything. His contingencies are perfectly valid and not ridiculous at all. Oh sure laugh now but you’ll be happy you have a plan when suddenly the floor is literally lava and all the furniture is made out of jello.

Robin gets to drop off the miraculouses to the reserve heroes. He takes special pleasure in scaring the absolute shit out of Luka because Marinette might not feel anything for him anymore but she did once and hero or no Damian is capable of being _unbelievably_ petty.

Wednesday night rolls in and all the prep they can do is done. And the waiting begins.

* * *

Adrien grips his phone tight enough for the plastic casing to creak. It’s the last night before their attack; they can’t afford to put Hawkmoth on alert now by risking him finding Adrien missing. But still he’d give anything to be with Marinette in her room right now, warm and safe and surrounded by everything a home should be. Marinette would wrap her arms around him and stroke his hair and he could forget he was about to rip the last of his old family apart and focus on the new family he’d built for himself, the family that loved him, and was always there for him. It was hard to remember in his cold, cavernous room. Plagg’s crowded in close against his side but as much as the kwami loves him he’s a little small to chase the loneliness away by himself.

The video call finally connects and Marinette’s face fills the screen. Adrien brings the phone closer to his face, trying to soak up every bit of joy.

“Hey Kitty.” Marinette smiles, flopping on her bed and propping her chin in her hand. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Nah.”

“Me too.”

Silence falls over them. Adrien stares down at his bedspread. He plucks at the fabric, worrying a stray thread until it snaps. “What– what if we don’t–”

“Hey.” Marinette’s staring at him. It’s her Ladybug stare. The same stare she gives Chat Noir whenever his hope flags in a fight. “None of that now. We **will** win. We’ll take Hawkmoth down and get the butterfly and peacock miraculouses back and put and end to this, once and for all. You’ll see.”

A smile tugs at his lips. That was his Ladybug. Always knowing just what to say. “Of course we will My Lady. How could we not, with the finest hero in Paris leading us?”

“And where would the finest hero in Paris be without her partner?”

Adrien grins. If she’s going to set him up so nicely… “Up a tree.”

Marinette groans and drops her face into her pillow. “That doesn’t even make any sense Chaton.” Behind her a shadow moves across the skylight. Adrien freezes.

“Marinette. Someone’s on your balcony.”

“What?” Marinette turns to look right as _something_ taps on the glass. Tikki lets out an eep and darts behind her pillow.

“Mari don’t!” Adrien cries as she goes to open it, disappearing from view. What if Hawkmoth figured out who she was, or if it was more ninjas, or– He has to get over there he can’t let anything happen. “Plagg! Claws–”

“Relax kitty,” Marinette says, reappearing. She tugs an embarrassed looking Robin into view. “No monsters. Just a lost bird.”

“Ah.”

“Sheesh kid, jumpy much?” Plagg asks. Robin’s gaze immediately trains onto the kwami, eyes narrowing visibly behind his mask. Plagg waves.

“You… know,” Robin finally says, turning to Marinette.

“I know.”

“Right. Of course you do.”

“Honestly at this point I’m surprised you don’t expect her to know everything.”

Robin turns back to Marinette and Adrien swears, even with the mask he can see the exact moment Damian’s face morphs into gooey, heart-eyes. Or as it is colloquially known: the Marinette Face. “I believe I could regard Marinette as capable of anything and still find myself surprised by her.” Marinette blushes the color of her Ladybug costume, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

“You’re capable of being pretty surprising yourself.”

Adrien laughs hard enough he snorts. This. This right here is what he’s signed on as his family. God help him. “You two couldn’t be more obvious if you tried.” He glances up and sees they’re both blushing beet red now. “It’s cute.”

“Cute?” Plagg pipes up from where he’s rummaging through his closest cheese stash. “Try nauseating.”

“Plagg!”

“I’m just glad it’s not you anymore. Ladybug this Ladybug that. It was embarrassing. I was nearly put off my cheese.”

“Well _I_ think it’s cute.”

Robin narrows his eyes at him again but Adrien ignores it. Adrien’s _seen_ Robin’s death glare, both the petty one directed at posters of Adrien and the deadly serious one directed at Talia. This was not remotely a real death glare. “Shouldn’t you be resting in preparation for the fight tomorrow?”

Adrien decides not to point out that Robin should be doing the exact same thing. “What can I say? Pre-show jitters.”

By now Robin’s glare has shifted to one of suspicion. Having a bat _analyzing_ him is way scarier than having one mad at him. “I’m surprised you didn’t call Ladybug.” Ladybug. His partner. Who as far as Damian knows is not Marinette. And who Chat Noir really should have called instead. Adrien has no idea how to diffuse this. And based on the way Mari’s tensed up she doesn’t either.

“I, uh–”

“Kid did that already,” Plagg cuts in, saving them. He casually swallows a piece of cheese the size of his head before continuing. “Didn’t want to keep her up too late worrying over her plans again. And then when he still couldn’t sleep he called Marinette.”

Adrien grins. He owes Plagg so much cheese for that. “Exactly. And clearly you couldn’t sleep either. One of these days you’ll come to Paris for a reason that doesn’t involve punching someone’s parent.”

Robin’s already turned back to Marinette. He’s like a moon circling a planet. If there wasn’t video evidence of Chat doing the same thing with Ladybug he’d mock him so much. “Next time I will come solely for Marinette.”

Forget it, Adrien was mocking him anyway.

“On that note,” Adrien’s grin splits into a full Cheshire cat smile, “what exactly are your intentions toward my big sister?”

Robin just shuts down. That’s really the only word for it. Marinette however just crosses her arms and cocks her hip, clearly choosing to just muscle through his teasing the same way she does in uniform. “Adrien you’re two months older than me.”

“Yeah but I’m pretty sure big siblingdom is more a state of mind than an actual age thing. And don’t think I didn’t notice that you haven’t answered my question!”

“Adrien…” Mari growls. And that’s his cue.

“It’s getting late I’m gonna turn in. I’ll leave you two alone. I’m sure you have _lots_ to talk about.” he throws in an eyebrow waggle for good measure. “Have fun you two!” With that he hangs up before Damian snaps out of it and kills him. He drops his head onto his pillow and closes his eyes. The darkness doesn’t seem nearly as bad anymore.

~^~

Mainette stares at her phone. Did he just– yep. He totally hung up on her. “I can’t believe there was ever a time I thought he was sweet and innocent.”

“It was quite a long time.” Marinette starts. Damian’s shaken himself free of his earlier daze and has slid up next to her to glare at her phone.

“Well I’ve learned better now.”

“There was a time you thought you were in love with him.”

Marinette steals a glance over at Damian. He’s still glaring at the screen but there’s a vulnerability to the way he’s holding himself. Or at least she thinks there is. She still hasn’t mastered Damian’s body language yet. But all the subtleties of his voice she knows down to her soul. It’s in the hesitation he refuses to allow, the clipped, sharp edge of his words. Like every one is a knife and if he doesn’t put up his walls now he’s the one they’ll stab.

She lets the phone drop onto her bed and reaches for his hand, twining it with hers. “Well I’ve learned better now.”

Damian startles, the white of his mask going wide. Oh god why did she say that? That was too much she made him uncomfortable she never should have said that. It was too much, too forward. She didn’t even know what came over her she never should have been so–

Suddenly Damian squares his shoulders. He brings their joined hands up to his face, bending over them as he does so. Marinette swears she feels his lips brush across her knuckles.

Marinette flails. She trips over her own feet, stumbling backwards and she throws her arms out wildly to keep from falling. A panicked laugh escapes her lips, too high and too loud. “Yeah! I’ve learned lots of things!” _I’ve learned lots of thing? oh god why did she say that!?_ “Like Robin! I didn’t know that before and now I do. Not that that’s the only thing I’ve learned about you it’s just big! Not that everything else hasn’t been important too! I just uh–” Marinette flounders, trying to come up with something to say. Tikki pops her head out from behind her pillow, urging her on. “You’re here!” she yells. She immediately clamps her hands over her mouth. “That’s– I mean– You’re here. So I’m guessing you’ve already dropped off all the miraculous boxes?” As soon as the words leave her mouth Marinette wants to slap herself. _Ladybug_ asked Damian to deliver the boxes, _Marinette_ shouldn’t know about them at all.

“Chat Noir told you.”

Marinette’s not going to look a gift horse in the face. She smiles and shrugs in a way that could absolutely be construed as a yes but _technically_ isn’t so _technically_ she isn’t lying.

“You never told me you knew Chat Noir’s secret identity.”

“I’m allowed to have secrets,” Marinette teases.

Damian scowls at her dressmakers dummy. “I don’t like it.” Marinette pokes him in the chest.

“I’m not sure you have a leg to stand on, Monsieur _it’s too dangerous to even tell you my name._ ”

Damian looks away. He bites at his lip. “I apologize,” he says, still not looking at her. “I was… foolish. And– Scared. I know we cannot redo the past and ‘would haves’ are worth nothing but if I had the chance to do it again I would do it differently.”

Marinette reaches out and captures his chin, turning his head to face her. Once she’s certain he’s looking at her she smiles up at him. “I understand why you did. Now, anyway. Just, don’t do it again. Please?”

“Never,” Damian swears.

“Thank you. I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us.”

“Then will you tell me yours?” Damian whispers, stepping closer.

“I want to. I want to tell you everything.”

“You could tell me now.”

“No. No, I can’t.” Marinette jolts, shaking herself out of the dangerous moment. Damian would be fighting alongside Ladybug tomorrow. He can’t be distracted. And they can’t afford him getting emotional if she gets hit. “Not right now. Not when the fight with Hawkmoth waiting.” She takes a step back. Her hand slips off his jaw and Damian grabs it, pulling it back and holding it there.

“I– understand.”

“Tomorrow night,” Marinette blurts out before she can stop herself. “When the fight is over, after Hawkmoth is defeated and can’t hurt anyone. Come back then and I’ll tell you everything I– everything I can’t tell you now.”

“I shall hold you to that.” For a long moment they stand there, silently staring at each other. Marinette breaks the contact, glancing away, face heating. She takes a deep breath.

“Adrien’s right. You need to come here for a reason other than fighting.” She lets her hand drift upward to tug playfully at the corner of his mask. “Maybe next time you can leave this behind.”

“I can take it off if you want.” Damian says, smiling. Marinette runs her thumb along the edge of the mask imagining the way his eyes lighten when he smiles like he is now. Damian’s eyes always reminded Marinette of a forest, dark with shadows and hidden spaces. Some place that’s easy to be scared by. But then a sunbeam hits the leaves and you realize that it’s the greenest thing you’ve ever seen.

“It’s… probably best you don’t. If Chat Noir on my balcony set my papa off I can only imagine what he’d do if he caught an unmasked foreign hero in my actual bedroom.”

“Right. Of course. Can’t have that.” Damian sounds almost teasing.

“It’s not going to be an easy fight tomorrow. Hawkmoth’s not going to care who he hurts. It’ll be dangerous.”

“I’ll make sure Adrien remains safe.”

“No. I mean, yes, thank you. But that’s not what I meant. I’d appreciate it if you kept an eye on Chat but he can take care of himself. And he’ll have Ladybug there with him. Make sure you bring _yourself_ back safe.”

“I promise. I’ll come back safe to you.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Marinette breathes.

“And in return I ask that you promise me you’ll remain safe.”

“I promise.”

“Good. I know it’s presumptuous to ask but please do not go to school tomorrow. I’d feel better knowing you were nowhere near any potential fighting.”

Nowhere near any potential fighting. Right. Marinette swallows and forces herself to meet Damian’s masked eyes. Just one more day. Just one more day of lying and then she can tell him everything. “I’m already not going to school. The official story for tomorrow is that I’ll be with Adrien hiding in the same place Ladybug stashed me last time you were here. Creating alibis for everybody.”

“Then I’ll be able to fight without worry, knowing you’ll be safe.”

“Safe, yeah.” One more day Marinette. You can do it. Just one more day. “If something happens tomorrow and… If something happens tomorrow you have to promise me you’ll stay calm. I don’t know what I’d do if you got akumatized.”

“Of all the things for Ladybug _not_ to inform you about.” Damian smirks – actually smirks, it’s an expression she’s never seen on his face before and one that looks unfairly good on him. “Hawkmoth’s butterflies are frightened of me.”

Marinette swats at his shoulder with her free hand. “I’m serious. That is not an excuse to lose your head. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

“What something do you think’s going to happen?”

“Nothing. I don’t know, anything. Just– even if you get mad I need you to keep your head and listen to Ladybug. Even if you’re angry at her.”

Damian frowns. “There is something. Something you feel you cannot tell me.” His frown deepens and he looks off to the side. “I’m beginning to understand your frustration at my younger self’s reticence.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. Do not apologize for my failing. You can tell me tomorrow night when I return.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Marinette, I–”

A shrill beeping cuts off whatever he’s about to say. Marinette jumps and Damian pulls his sword from his back. All at once she realizes how close she and Damian are standing and that her hand is still on his cheek. She snatches it away, curling it into her chest while her face flames.

The beeping starts up again and Marinette realizes it’s her phone shrieking merrily from her bed. “Oh. Right. I set a sleep alarm.” A quick tap shuts it off.

“A sleep alarm?”

“Yeah. It’s a big day tomorrow and I wanted to make sure I got enough sleep.”

“Then I supposed I should let you sleep.”

“I… suppose.” Marinette twists her hands together fighting the almost physical desire to reach out and put her hand back on his cheek. “You should get some sleep too. Neither of us got enough sleep to greet each other last time you were here. I’ll be strange, greeting each other at the same time.”

“It’s something I could see myself greatly enjoying.”

“M-Me too.”

“I could greet you in person tomorrow if you like.”

“It’s probably…”

“Best I don’t?” Damian fills in when she falters.

“Yeah. Ladybug’s picking me up early. And you have your own responsibilities in the morning.”

“Then I shall say goodnight.”

There’s a brief, dizzying moment when he leans in. Marinette follows, pulled as if by a spell until she can feel his breath on her lips.

Then the moment is broken and Damian steps back.

“Goodnight Marinette.”

“Goodnight Damian.”

Damian hoists himself through her skylight and then leaps off her balcony. Within seconds he’s disappeared into the maze of rooftops.

Marinette scrambles after, bracing herself on the railing. “Tikki?” she calls.

Tikki flies out from under Marinette’s pillow to float beside her. “Yes Marinette?”

Marinette traces the path Robin took, straining to catch his shadow. “I am so doomed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the Time, All the Time  
> You Were the One That Got Me Through  
> Like a Sign, Like a Sign  
> You Were the Voice That Knew the Truth  
> Let Me Fall, Let Me Fall For You  
> Let Me Fall For You
> 
> I probably could have only used the second part with just Mari and Damian.  
> But I wrote it, I had it, I liked it, so you guys get all of it.
> 
> The knuckle kiss thing was suggested by Dick during the Batfam’s bombardment of Romantic AdviceTM before Damian left for Paris. Our boy is _**not**_ that smooth on his own. Damian’s absolutely regretting it and is going to _murder_ his brother when he gets home. It didn’t work, it made Mari pull her hand back! That’s like the opposite of working!


	11. It's the Final Countdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In direct contrast to last chapter, this one is a solid 90% dialogue.
> 
> bit of a buffer chapter while I scramble to figure out how to put the last of my battle pieces together and what I want as serious real prose vs absolute crack. Also I’ve somehow decided I want to include things in this last stretch, because I’m an idiot like that, and it turned out there was more set-up than I thought. Forgive me and enjoy the last moments of build-up and peace. Shit’s going to start hitting the fan hard next chapter.

** 8:00 **

Damian makes his way from his safehouse.

Alya calls the school and fakes her mother’s voice, calling herself out.

Nino fakes being sick.

Luka tells his mom he’s ditching school today.

Kagami climbs out her school’s bathroom window.

Marinette hugs her parents tight and asks them to please not to open the bakery and to stay home and inside today.

Adrien gets dropped off at the school and asks Gorilla to please, please not go back to the manor but instead to drive as far away as he can.

** 8:05 **

Ladybug, Chat Noir and Robin meet on the roof across from Chloé’s hotel. One last attempt to get all potential players locked down before we start.

Ladybug’s got Pollen with her. Kwamis have a connection to their miraculous so she should be able to sense it if she gets close enough. They’re in the middle of playing ‘warm or cold’ when Chloé, who’s decided to ditch school that day in favor of a sulk, walks in.

     …  
…  
Chat: “Shouldn’t you be on your way to school?”  
Chloé: [grabs the first thing she sees and chucks it at his head] “Get out!”  
Ladybug: “We’re here for the comb.”  
Chloé: [chucks a normal comb at her head] “Get out!”  
Pollen: “My Queen!”  
Chloé: “Get out! [chucking _everything_ now] GetOutGetOut _Get **Out!!**_ ”  
Robin: [done with this] [drops Chloé on her ass] “You will relinquish the bee miraculous to us.”  
Chloé: “Why should I?”  
Robin: [pointing a sword directly at her throat] “Because otherwise I will take it by force.”

Scary-angry sword boy is new.

    Chloé: [digs miraculous out and shoves it at Ladybug] “Here. Now get out.”  
Chat: [kitty eyes]  
Ladybug: [fine]  
Chat: “Please help us. As Queen Bee. One last time.”  
Chloé: “No.”(well that went well)  
Chat: “Have you really been happy these past few months?”  
Chloé: “And what’s to keep me from keeping it again?”  
Robin: [points sword at her again]  
Chloé: “So I can help you and you can turn around and take it away again? Why should I?”  
Ladybug: “Because it’s the right thing to do.”  
Chat: “Please Chloé?”  
Chloé: “Fine! I guess I have to do everything! You guys are too pathetic to manage on your own anyway.”

    Bonus  
Robin: “I do **not** like this.”  
Ladybug: “You know full well we have a plan that includes Chloé on our side in it.”  
Robin: “I also have a plan for if Hawkmoth appears to spontaneously surrender. That doesn’t mean I think we’ll use it.”

** 8:10 **

Rena Rouge, Carapace, Viperion and Ryuko all gather in the warehouse they were told to go to.

** 8:15 **

Ladybug and Chat Noir arrive, Robin and Queen Bee in tow.

    Rena: “What is _she_ doing here?”  
Bee: “Uhhh… Being a _hero?_ ”  
Rena: “Hero? More like a _menace._ ”

This devolves into bickering until Chloé rage quits again and tries to storm out. Robin stops her.

    Robin: “If you won’t assist us then you will remain here until the fight is over.”  
Chloé: “Ridiculous. Utterly Ridiculous. I’m not going to go running to Hawkmoth I’m just not going to bother helping you people.”  
Robin: [blocks her way with his sword] (she’s ending up on the wrong end of Dami’s sword a lot for someone who hasn’t been stabbed yet. it’s very impressive you should be impressed) “If you think I’d trust the word of someone so utterly irredeemable you are a fool as well as a failure.”  
Chloé: “What, because I made some mistakes I’m _‘irredeemable’_ now? Like you’ve never done anything wrong.”  
Robin: “I killed my first man when I was four. [all the other reserve heroes take one big sidestep _away_ ] I have tried to kill those I now call my family. I have betrayed in some manner or another everyone I have ever loved. Your irredeemably doesn’t come from the failings of your past but the failings of your soul.”  
[one very awkward, intense staring match]  
Chloé: “Fine! I’m in! I’ll prove to all of you my soul is perfect!”

Ladybug follows Robin off to the side for a heart-to-heart while everyone but Chat stares at his still unsheathed sword and starts clocking exits.

    Ladybug: “Well that’s one way to make an introduction.”  
[All the reserve heroes are still staring. Robin awkwardly sheathes his katana. Nothing like throwing him in with a bunch of shiny goody baby heroes to remind Damian of how damaged he is and how much blood is on his hands.]  
Robin: “I’m afraid I’ve made the rest of your team uneasy.”  
Ladybug: [reaching out and putting her hand on his shoulder] “Hey. It doesn’t change anything. I already knew all of that. And I trust you. And so does Marinette.”

It’s a very sweet moment. All the way until they hold each other’s gaze too long and Robin remembers Ladybug’s highly unfortunate crush on him.

Right.

Let’s get this meeting started, shall we?

First things first

    Ladybug: “We are taking out Hawkmoth. For good. Today.”

Oh.

Wow.

That is way more intense than the baby heroes thought they were getting into today.

    Rena: “And Robin is here because?”  
Ladybug: “He’s been helping us with tactics. He’ll be joining us.”  
Chat: “You can consider those two the co-brains of this little shindig.”  
Chloé: “Then what does that make you?”  
Chat: [That is not Chat’s normal smile. That is not even Chat’s normal ‘dangerous’ smile. That is a genuinely worrying smile] ( _that_ is the same ‘nothing left to lose I’m going to burn myself down fighting you’ smile he gave Talia) “I’m the secret weapon.”

…

There is no appropriate reaction to this.

Moving on.

    Robin: “Everyone drop your transformations.”  
baby heroes: _“What?!”_  
Robin: “This fight is guaranteed to burn through several transformations. We can’t have you tripping up because you’re worried about your secret identities. Ladybug knows them, Chat knows them, I know them, Hawkmoth knows them. Now drop your transformations.”  
[It’s nice to see Robin’s gotten soo very much better at softening his approach, isn’t it?]  
[There’s a long moment then one by one the reserve heroes all drop their tranformations.]  
“Alya Césaire.”  
“Nino Lahiffe.”  
“Luka Couffaine.”  
“Kagami Tsurugi.”  
…  
“You already know who I am. I’m already detransformed.”  
“Just say it Chloé.”  
“Fine. Chloé Bourgeois. Happy?”  
“Very.”

The babies all turn to look at the only two still transformed heroes.

    Alya: “What about you guys?”  
Ladybug: “We’re keeping ours a secret for now. It’s _our_ miraculous Hawkmoth needs. And if this goes south we need a back-up plan.”  
Chat: “It won’t fail.”  
Robin: “It might.”  
Ladybug: [leans over to glare at him] “Seriously Robin?”  
Robin: “Plan for everything.”  
Chat: “*cough*jello furniture*cough*”

Fine. No learning Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities.

Babies shift to look at Robin.

    Robin: “That’s not happening.”

Right. Getting back on track.

    Luka: “Do we know who Hawkmoth is?”  
[we’re going to give the honors to our traumatized spy-son]  
Chat: “Hawkmoth is Gabriel Agreste.”

It’s like playing piñata with a hornet’s nest. Everyone goes **_nuts._**

Just. Absolute insanity.

The major question that floats to the surface once all the screeching dies down ( **so** much screeching.) is whether Adrien knows his dad’s made of concentrated evil.

    Ladybug: “Adrien knows.”  
Chat: “We– Ladybug came to him with her suspicions about Gabriel. He didn’t want to believe it.”  
Ladybug: [I’m going to get this through your thick skull if I have to use an anvil to do it.] “But he did in the end. And that’s what matters. He’s been helping us.”  
Robin: “He’s been an idiot.”  
Carapace: [oh god his _bro_. He hasn’t been putting himself in danger, has he?] “Helping how?”  
Chat: “Pretending to be evil in order to gather intel?”  
baby heroes: …  
[Yep. That. That sounds like Adrien.]  
Robin: “As I said, idiot.”

And the second most important question: Where the hell **_is_** Adrien?

    Ladybug: “Hidden. Safe. I’m the only one who can get to him. Hawkmoth won’t be able to find him.” (so long as he’s transformed, technically true)

And last but not least:

    Rena: “So what’s Hawkmoth – or, uh, Gabriel, trying to do anyway?”  
Robin: “Rip the fabric of the universe apart in order to subvert the natural order of life and death with no mind to the consequences.”  
Carapace: “What?”  
Chat: “He wants to wish Emilie Agreste back from the dead.”

    Kagami: “So he was being honest about having another target.”  
Luka: “What was that?”  
[over Kagami’s shoulders Ladybug and Chat are having a silent ‘you handle it’ ‘no you handle it’ argument. Alya and Nino are watching it like a tennis match]  
Kagami: [nominally to Ladybug]: “Do you think Adrien will forgive me?”  
[Ladybug **shoves** Chat at her]  
Chat: [seriously Mari, can’t I finish one emotional pile-up before you throw me at another?] “Why do you think you’ve done something that needs forgiving?”  
Kagami: “I made it clear I love him.”  
Chloé: “You really thou–mrmph!” [Luka just covers her mouth and drags her away. He understands a tactful retreat. If he keeps insisting on being ‘sensible’ like this Robin might have to stop baselessly hating him.]  
Chat: “You really meant that? That you love him?”  
Kagami: “I do. When I told him he said he could not return my feelings at that time. He said there was something he needed to focus on first before he could even consider what his feelings were. I did not believe him. And I got mad at him. I was… unkind, in my reaction.”  
Chat: “Hey, you were hurt. No matter what Hawkmoth’s forced us to believe, you’re allowed to get upset.”  
Kagami: “Still. I fear I may have ruined things. Do you think Adrien will forgive me? For not forgiving him?”  
Chat: “I guarantee he won’t even think there’s anything to forgive. [man up Chat. you can do this] And I’m willing to bet after all this is over and the dust settles if you ask him again, you’ll get a different answer.”

While all that beta couple drama is happening Alya’s interrogating Ladybug over Marinette. She swore she’d get to the bottom of her bestie’s weirdness and she _will._ Marinette somehow knowing about the Gabriel is Hawkmoth thing and being Adrien’s confidant would explain it. (Okay, there are a _few_ holes in her theory. Like a few drive-a-truck-through sized holes. Like how Marinette found out or why Marinette knew first or how that translates to getting over her crush or why Marinette hasn’t said anything to anyone else… It’s a working theory alright?)

Meanwhile Mari’s just standing there internally screaming because she was not prepared for an interrogation about herself.

And in corner #2 Robin’s watching Chat and Kagami way to intently while Nino’s coming to the slow, horrible realization that by opting to take on the Ladybug/Chat Noir weirdness he signed up for _this_ too. No one told him the superhero weirdness would expand to include an apparently jealous Robin.

Right. _Forcibly_ getting back on track.

Ladybug lays out all the plans. She and Robin tag-team a terrifyingly efficient war council. Chat just got a glimpse of his hero-future and he is _scared_.

Robin gives Kagami a collapsible baton to tuck into her civilian clothes in case she gets caught detransformed. This sparks a round of everyone grabbing whatever random thing they can find and shoving it in their pockets as an emergency ‘last ditch’ weapon.

Alya puts out an emergency ‘stay home, bunker down’ order on the Ladyblog.

Robin *ahem* ‘strongly encourages’ everyone take a moment to center themselves to make for less easy butterfly bait. Luka suggests a phrase they can share as a sort of verbal talisman.  
Chat suggest ‘Ladybug’s plans are always crazy’ as a two-part reminder that crazy is their leader’s wheelhouse and that even if it seems like everything’s going wrong there’s a high chance there’s a plan you don’t know about in play.

And now one last thing. Ladybug brings out a box full of tiny little bottles of glowing liquid. Her self-taught magic lessons haven’t been going great but she did figure out one thing. She leap-frogged right over the basics straight into ‘forbidden techniques’. (I’ve gotta step up my ‘bad life decision’ game after last time. I need to top ‘faking own death in front of soulmate’)

This is a bad idea. This is a _horrible_ idea and she is ashamed of herself for using it.

We’re totally going to use it.

    Ladybug: [passes out three bottles each to all the miraculous wielders] “This is for emergencies only. Only use it if you absolutely have to. You only use one bottle at a time and you only use your own bottles. Once you’re out you’re out.”  
Ryuko: “What is it?”  
Chat: “Liquid cheat code.”  
[Everyone is suddenly very interested in the bottles]  
Ladybug: “It works best if you give it to your kwami but if you’re already transformed you can drink it yourself. Try to drink it before calling up your move or failing that immediately after. It’ll let you hold your transformation longer even after you’ve used your move. It might even make your move stronger. It’s also incredibly dangerous and untested and possibly physically damaging to the user.”  
[Everyone’s suddenly much less interested than they were a second ago]  
Carapace: “It’s not going to like… permanently mess with us, will it?”  
Ladybug: “Not like this. But there’s a reason we’re only giving you this much and only just this much.”  
[Everyone’s suddenly staring at the bottles like they’re live snakes]  
Ladybug: “I cannot overstate how much of a bad decision this is. But we’re out of time and we need every edge we can get.”

** 8:30 **

Chat goes on ahead to ‘use the intel Adrien got them’. Adrien sneaks into his bedroom and out into the hallways. Ladybug leads the others across the rooftops until they reach Agreste Manor.

    Carapace: [staring at the gate] “This is the craziest thing I’ve ever done.”  
Rena: “What? Stormed your best friend’s house to take down his supervillain father who’s held more than 2 million people emotionally hostage?”  
Viperion: “Don’t you remember? Ladybug’s plans are always crazy.”  
Ryuko: “We will be victorious. There is no other option.”  
Bee: “Of course we will. You have _me._ ”

    Adrien: “You ready Plagg?”  
Plagg; “Course I am.”  
Adrien: “Glad that makes one of us at least.”  
Plagg: “Hey. We’re gonna get Nooroo and Duusu back and then I’m going to eat my weight in gougeres. Marinette already said she’d make them for me. We’re going to win. I promise.”

    Ladybug: “You’ve stormed strongholds before, right?”  
Robin: “I have.”  
Ladybug: “How do you rank our chances?”  
Robin: “You are a skilled tactician. You have planned this attack out carefully and thoroughly. And when it inevitably begins to break apart, as nearly all plans do when they come in contact with the enemy, you are exceedingly gifted at improvising. There is no reason we won’t succeed.”  
Ladybug: “Promise me we’ll all get out alright.”  
Robin: “That’s why you have your Miraculous Cure.”  
Ladybug: “I’m serious Damian. Tell me it’s going to be okay.”  
Robin: “Ladybug. The only person I have more faith in being able to pull impossible miracles out of thin air is my Marinette. [nods at the other heroes] They believe in you. Adrien believes in you. **I** believe in you. It’s going to be okay. We will succeed.”  
Ladybug: “Thank you. [steps into position front and center] Alright everybody you know what to do! This ends today!”

_ Ready or Not _

The team get into place surrounding Gabriel’s gates.

_ Here… _

Robin pulls out his katana.

_ We… _

Ladybug readies her yoyo.

**_ …Go! _ **

“Plagg! Claws Out!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right Ladies and Gentlemen! Last rallying cry goes to Adrien. It’s his house we’re toppling after all. And as said at the beginning, shit’s going to start hitting next chapter. We’re all in now.  
> This is **not** my favorite chapter, but, it is what it is.  
> Hopefully I’ll hate the next one less.  
> There’s guaranteed one more chunk of real prose in the coming chapters. There are a couple other places I’m considering sprinkling in a few paragraphs of ‘real fic’. Now that you’ve seen what that looks like last chapter and chapter 5 would that be something you guys would want or should I steer clear of it? If you’ve got strong feelings either way speak now or forever hold your peace


	12. Secrets and Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s do or die.  
> (hopefully it won’t be die)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the general consensus on prose vs outline seems to be leaving it up to my judgement, which is just a horrible idea really. But it’s hardly the first bad idea in this story so it fits the theme well.  
> What I’ve settled on is dropping wildly in and out of ‘real’ writing with no discernible rhyme or reason.  
> All the intense scenes keep demanding real prose. Do you know how many intense scenes there are in a multi-tiered battle heavy climax?  
> As of right now and counting this one it looks like three real chapters –one for every villain – and one of epilogue craziness.

“Cataclysm!”

Let’s cataclysm some delicate security systems and electrical circuitry, shall we?

We’ve got a plan. It’s a good plan. Chat cataclysms the main hub that controls all the security cameras. Then he’s going to hack the computers, grabbing as much evidence as possible. Once he’s done he’ll make his way back, tearing out as many security features as he can on the way. That’s the plan anyway.

And then part of the wall unfolds.

    Chat: “Lasers!?! When the hell did he add _lasers?!?_ ”

Soooo. That thing about no plan surviving first contact? Yeah.

~^~

Outside Ladybug’s meticulously planned timetable ticks down. The outside electric shielding on the Agreste gates cuts off only a few seconds behind schedule. Good kitty. Everyone drops down into the front courtyard. Everything’s quiet. So far so good. Ladybug raises her arms to signal everyone to spread out on their assigned tasks.

“You didn’t think this would really be that easy, did you?”

Like the proverbial cockroach, Lila steps out of the shadows.

Lila who’s spent the weeks since her social downfall silently seething and scheming. Lila who lies because she wants love, wants attention, lies because it’s easy, because she can, lies so she can remake the world around her, so she can control it. Lila who I’d say never got enough hugs as a child except she _still **is one.**_ Lila who was already working for both of Hawkmoth’s identities. Lila who when her castle in the sky fell down turned further to the shadows.

“Oh,” she says, mouth twisting into a theatrical moue of confusion “you didn’t think you were taking Hawkmoth by surprise, did you?” She types a command into the tablet in her hands before she sets it down on a low wall and saunters closer. “No. If anything, you’re late.”

Maybe pulling multiple people out of a classroom shared with Gabriel’s most reliable spy wasn’t the smartest idea Mari ever had.

    Rena: “Lila? What are you doing here?”  
Lila: “You really are dense, aren’t you? No wonder you were so easy to string along.”  
Rena: “Can I punch her?”  
Robin: “Would you like to borrow my sword?”  
Ryuko: “I would.”  
Ladybug: “Robin, no stabbing.”

A single black Butterfly flies through the air. Lila’s hand snaps out to catch it.

    Robin: “Can I stab her now?”  
Ladybug: “You already know the answer to that.”
  


The purple outline of Hawkmoth’s control glows over her face. Thick white smoke billows out from around her. Within seconds, no one can see anything.

It’s great! Everyone’s running into everything. Viperion was a hair too late on the draw starting up his save point and is now trying to map out a timeline by touch. Carapace is stuck in the corner on ‘containment duties’ so Lila can’t escape but neither can the smoke. Ryuko dives in head first and manages to hit Queen Bee. Rena is functionally useless. Ladybug has some experience with weaponized blind man’s bluff but keeps getting tripped up by everyone else. Who even knows where Robin is. Like I said, great!

Lila launches a sneak attack on Carapace, breaking his concentration and making him drop the barrier. Ryuko sweeps in – literally – using her wind powers to clear the smoke away.

Everything they can see is mirrored. It’s like the world’s most demented funhouse.

    Ladybug: “Smoke and mirrors. How fitting.”

Everybody’s running into _everything._

Ryuko keeps trying to shout out where Lila is from her place up in the storm but it doesn’t help that she keeps seeing twenty different Lilas. Ladybug’s _really_ testing her good luck cred with all the mirrors she’s breaking.

    Robin: [dropping down from god knows where. Seriously, where were you?] “What number loop are you on?”  
Viperion: “Seventeen.”  
[Robin scoops up Viperion and shoots a grapple hook up to Ryuko.]  
Robin: “I’m commandeering both of you. Here’s what I need to know.…”  


    

_Second Chance!_

    

    

Ladybug calls up her lucky charm. She gets a small spotted hand mirror. When she looks around several things light up, including the mirror, Rena, a mirrored tree catching a lot of sun. She has a plan now.

    

Robin drops down right where the real Lila’s hiding and cold-clocks her.

    
    Ladybug:[…what?]  
Robin: “Apologies. I realize you may have already had a strategy in place that I just disrupted.”  
Ladybug: [stunned and still processing] “It’s… fine. This works great actually. I– thank you for not using swords.”  
Robin: “She would have deserved it.”  
Ladybug: “Thank you anyway.”

Ladybug snags the akuma.

A smoking Chat comes skidding out. Part of his hair is on fire.

    Carapace: “Dude! You missed the whole first fight!”  
Chat: “Hawkmoth’s added laser beams!”  
Robin: “All my backup contingencies don’t seem so stupid anymore, do they?”  
Ladybug: “Kitty you’re still on fire.” [good to see someone’s still paying attention to the little things] [One Miraculous Cure will fix that.](Ladybug’s control over her Miraculous Cure has gotten a lot better since Robin was here last. No risk of bringing the cameras back online)  
Robin: “Did you at least disable the cameras?”  
Chat: “Yes I got the cameras; now can we talk about the _lasers!?_ ”

(One of you two has his priorities vastly out of order. And honestly I’m not sure which one.)

* * *

Laughter cuts off the budding argument. They all turn to see Lila sitting up, rubbing her jaw and the burgeoning bruise that has stubbornly remained even after Ladybug’s cure. “You don’t really think you’ve beaten me, do you?”

“I think we just did.”

Lila glances up at them through her lashes, a cruel smirk curling on her lips. “Oh I wasn’t fighting to win. Just to stall.”

Robin steps forward, sword at the ready. “Stall for what?” 

Lila’s smirk widens, but there’s the briefest flash of worry in her eyes. Marinette takes note of it. Whatever she has up her sleeve she wasn’t expecting Robin. “And here I was always told Gotham’s great heroes were supposed to be smart.” Ladybug’s by Robin’s side, fists curled, before she realizes she’s even moved. Lila glances between the two of them. “Isn’t that sweet. The bird and the bug. And then the stray alley cat, all alone.” Robin’s sword is at her throat before she can blink.

“I suggest,” he growls out, “You explain. Before you exhaust the last of my patience.”

There’s definite fear in her eyes now though she covers it quickly. She nods at the tablet she’d been holding that had been forgotten during the fight. Robin immediately moves to snatch it up. With the sword at her throat gone she seems to regain her previous arrogance. “Hawkmoth told me who all your little cheerleaders are. I might not know who you two are but I know who everyone else is.” She strides forward until she’s in front of Rena Rouge, reaching toward the fox miraculous. Rena lurches back, hand coming to shield it. Lila scowls.

“ _Alya Césaire_. It’s such a _pity_ about your big sister. She had such big dreams didn’t she? It’s just such a _shame_ she had to resort to illegal drugs and fixing fights in order to try to reach them. I doubt she’ll ever be able to step into a ring again by the time everything comes out.

“And speaking of dreams: _Nino Lahiffe_. I know you’re a talentless hack but that doesn’t mean you can steal music from other people. Now _any_ chance you had of making it is gone completely.”

“That’s enough,” Luka says, moving to step in front of his fellow heroes.

“Oh I don’t think it is, _Luka Couffaine_. I do hope you’re not too attached to that floating tub you live in. I’ve heard there’s been some problems with its permits. All those safety checks it’s failed. I’ll have to be hauled away and destroyed. It’s all a terrible misunderstanding, of course. But it’ll already be splinters and scrap metal by the time that’s straightened out.”

The next sword that’s pointed at her isn’t quite as sharp as Robin’s. Lila runs a finger back and forth along the edge of Ryuko’s weapon.

“ _Kagami Tsurugi._ You’ve been quite the wild-child lately. Skipping school and scheduled practices, vandalizing businesses and breaking and entering and even underage drinking and stealing. You’ve fallen in with a bad crowd since you came to Paris, haven’t you? Don’t worry. I’m sure that’s about to change. Once your mother drags you back to Japan I doubt you’ll ever be allowed to even leave the house again. I’d say she’ll never let you out of her sight again but I hear ‘sight’ is already an issue with her. Being _blind_ like she is.”

Queen Bee grabs her wrist, pulling her away from Kagami. “That is _it!_ You can just _Shut. Up!”_ Lila turns toward her apparently completely unconcerned with having her wrist trapped by someone with no patience to speak of and superstrength.

“And last and certainly least, _Chloé Bourgeois._ Our very own budding supervillain. So eager to switch sides once again?” Lila leans in closer. “That’s right. I know you _chose_ to help Hawkmoth.” She smiles and tilts her head toward the other heroes. “Did they know that?”

All the color drains from Chloé’s face. She drops Lila’s hand. “I– I’ve changed. I’m here because Ladybug asked me to. I’ve changed.”

It’s Rena Rouge of all the assembled heroes who steps up, pulling Chloé back and wrapping her arms around the other girl’s shoulders. “She’s with us. So _back off._ ”

“Yes, it appears you have changed. Just a little too late.”

Chat steps forward, baton held out threateningly. “What do you mean?”

“Ladybug knows what I mean, don’t you? I’ll bet you didn’t know she’s been protecting you all this time. There are a few international agencies who are _very_ interested in… talking, with you. I’d enjoy the sunlight now Bourgeois, it might be the last you see in a very long time.” Ladybug’s face goes white. 

“I can fix it of course.” Lila walks right up into Ladybug’s space. “I can fix all of it. And all it will cost you is the miraculouses. Come on now _Ladybug._ What kind of hero _are you?”_

    Robin: “Right. I’ve heard enough.” [stabs her with a hypo]  
Lila: [falls over unconscious into Ladybug’s arms]  
Carapace: [whispering to Rena and Bee] “Dude. Where did he _come_ from?”  
Rena: [whispering to Bee and Carapace] “Tell me I’m not the only one scared of him.”  
Ladybug: [way less phased than she should be.] [Mari I know you have insider information but please. You’re scaring the kids.] “Please tell me you didn’t just kill her.”  
Robin: “She’ll be fine. Unfortunately.”  
Ladybug: [dropping Lila] “She’s unconscious but we still have to deal with all the lies and trouble she kicked up.”  
Chat: “We don’t have _time._ Not if we’re going to do this now. And it _needs_ to be now.”  
Ladybug: “Right. Okay. I can make this work. We’ll cut our targets down for today. We’ll focus solely on Mayura, cut her off so she can’t run, surround and overwhelm her, get her miraculous. We go in hard and fast and as soon as we have it we pull back. We can swing around and try for Hawkmoth another day–”  
Viperion: “No.”  
Ladybug: “What?”  
Carapace: “Viperion’s right. This is our best chance. Hawkmoth will know you know who he is. This is the only chance we’re gonna have. We’ll deal with the fall-out from Lila after, if we can, but we’re not going to back down. We came here to stop Hawkmoth and that’s what we’re going to do. We’re heroes.”  
Rena: “Damn right we are.”  
Ryuko: “We stay. And we fight. Until we win.”  
Bee: As a stupid and super annoying cat once told me, part of being a hero means doing what’s right. Even when things aren’t going your way. Sometimes it even means doing so even if that means actively working against your own happiness.”  
Chat: [grinning from ear to ear.] “Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.”  
Bee: [smiling back] “Ugh, I know.”

Such a touching moment. Let’s undercut it completely.

    Robin: “Red Robin and Oracle will handle it. [phone buzzes] Amend that. Red Robin and Oracle have already handled it. The command never even made it past her tablet.”  
Carapace: “Dude. That’s scary. Cool, but scary.”  
Rena: “Um… how?”  
Robin: “They were already in her systems. We’ve been demolishing her digital life for months.”  
Rena: _“…whhhyyyy?”_  
Robin: “Because I wasn’t allowed to fly out here to stab her.”

Lila gets trussed up and stowed in the villain holding area. (Yes there’s a villain holding area. Ladybug prepped the **hell** out of this)

* * *

Technically speaking, the front door is unlocked. But we’ve already definitively proven the element of surprise is gone and are any of the baby heroes going to say anything if Ladybug takes out a bit of frustration on them by kicking them off their hinges? No. They are not. Chat may or may not accidently-on-purpose break a window as he passes by it and solidifies the tone as ‘feel free to wreck everything’.

They get all of one hallway in before they run into Nathalie.

Maybe we can still solve this peacefully.

Ladybug: “I know Hawkmoth thinks he fixed the peacock miraculous but he didn’t.”  
Nathalie: “I know.”  
Chat: “You… know?”  
Nathalie: “Gabriel hasn’t realized yet. But I figured it out several weeks ago.”  
Chat: “Then you have to know that using it is killing you.”  
Nathalie: “I know. I don’t care. I won’t stop until Gabriel’s dream is realized. No matter what it takes.” (If you’ll all open your books to the chapter titled “Love Martyr” you’ll find a picture there. Please study it a moment.)  
Ladybug: “We can’t let you keep using the miraculous.”  
Nathalie: “I will not give it to you. Duusu! Spread My Feathers!”  
Chat: [extends his baton] “We weren’t asking.”

We cannot solve this peacefully.

The _freaking lasers_ means Chat never had a chance to grab any evidence. (Damian is so judgey about this. Honestly, Adrien let something as inconsequential as _lasers_ slow him down. Clearly Damian wasn’t hard enough on him with training.) Robin goes on ahead to make sure they get the evidence before anything can destroy it.

  * Goal, Heroes: Get to Mayura and retrieve pin
  * Goal, Mayura: Don’t get caught by heroes, take out heroes if and when possible, stall for Hawkmoth
  * Solution, Heroes: Ignore sentimonsters as much as possible and instead focus on evading and moving closer to Mayura.
  * Solution, Mayura: Sacrifice power and finesse for sheer numbers. Monster-ize _everything in sight_. (Bonus points go to when Nino detransforms partway through and Mayura creates a sentimonster out of his hat. While still on his head. That’s always fun.)



Eventually the broken miraculous starts taking its toll and she has to retreat or risk passing out in the middle of the knot of heroes. She flees with Ryuko sent hot on her heels after her.

The baby heroes are… a little bit shook.

I don’t think they actually expected any of the villains to really pick the _‘Death First!’_ option. I mean, our veteran trio did, but not the babies.

    Viperion: “Is that why it has to be today?”  
Ladybug: “Yep. Honestly that went about exactly like I thought it would.”  
Chat: “It went better than I thought it would.”  
Rena: “What is _wrong_ with the two of you?”  
Chat: “I made a conscious decision weeks ago not to have hope she’d chose otherwise.”  
Ladybug: “I’ve spent too much time recently with Robin. The cynicism’s rubbing off on me.”

~^~

Chat gets sent after Robin to Gabriel’s big ‘fashion office’ to help with the evidence gathering. Everybody else fans out to lock the house down the same way they were originally planning to.

Robin’s already plugged a batdecryption key and is currently ransacking the place. There is way more Hawkmoth stuff than there should be in what is technically speaking the open-access, public office. (surprise surprise, Hawkmoth’s an idiot)

    Chat: “I’m here to help with… the… [takes notice of the localized hurricane that going through the office. Robin’s taking the ‘feel free to trash the place’ idea to heart] …search?”  
Robin: [turns computer screen towards Chat] “Were you aware your father had suspicions that you were Chat Noir?”  
Chat: **_“What!?!”_** [sure Dami, don’t couch in any context, dive right in. Don’t worry about giving one of your partners an absolute heart attack. It’s fine.]  
Robin: “His suspicion was assuaged during the Gorizilla attack.”  
Chat: “I remember that akuma.”  
Robin: “I do too. You jumped off a roof while untransformed.”  
[expectant silence]  
Robin: “Adrien. Why did you jump off a roof untransformed?”  
Chat: “It worked out in the end?”  
Robin: “What have I said about mistaking strategy with _‘it worked out in the end’?”_  
Chat: “I am **not** having this lecture again mid-battle.” [poor phrasing Adrien. That just means now you’ll get the lecture after]  
Robin: “It looks like he keyed into your ring early. Barely a month in. He dismissed it at the time but kept circling back to it until he couldn’t ignore it. I imagine your glamour and the strength of focus you put into maintaining it is what took him so long to put the pieces together. The fact that he was able to be suspicious at all speaks to his single-minded obsession with the miraculous.”  
Chat: “Ladybug figured out his identity. What does that say about her?”  
Robin: “Ladybug’s success uncovering his identity speaks to her immense intelligence, finely honed instincts and overall mental prowess.”  
…  
Chat: “So should I tell Mari about your crush on Ladybug or will you? Because it would really be better coming from you.”

They finish ~~trashing~~ searching the office and open the door to leave only to immediately come face to face with Gorilla.

~^~

Meanwhile Ryuko’s lost track of Mayura.

    Ryuko: “I’m sorry Ladybug. I’ve failed.”  
Ladybug: “You didn't fail. We’ll find her. Right now we need to focus on getting to Hawkmoth’s inner citadel. I have a feeling Mayura will find us. Go help the others.”

Ladybug’s just finished locking down her section of the house when a Butterfly flies into the hallway. It’s not a normal akuma. It’s twice the size and its wings are razor sharp. Ladybug moves to catch it and _can’t_.

    Ladybug: “Not good.”  
Butterfly: [physically attacks her]  
Ladybug: _“Not good not good not good!”_

Eventually she manages to kill it. She is now bleeding. She is now bleeding because of a fight with a _butterfly_. This might be the most ridiculous superhero injury she’s ever gotten to date. How do you explain that one when meeting other real heroes? More butterflies flap down the hallway.

So it turns out she _can_ grab and purify them, it’s just _really freaking hard to do._ Small mercies. Emphasis on the small.

    Bee: “What are those?!”

Aaaand there are even more of them. And they’ve found the others.

Joy.

    Ryuko: “They’re akumas!”  
Rena: “I know what akumas look like! Those are _not_ normal akumas!”  
Ladybug: “Looks like Hawkmoth’s found a cheat code of his own. [exactly how many forbidden techniques _are_ there in that grimoire? And more importantly what the **hell** was Fu doing translating this one?] “Focus on herding them over to me! Don’t let them escape!”

Three Butterflies escape. The panicked screams that only the most terrifying of akumas provokes anymore start up almost immediately.

    Rena: “If we defeat Hawkmoth they should vanish, right?”  
Ladybug: “No. They don’t. Viperion, give us a second chance. We’re all going to go scout out how bad it is out there. We’ll decide what to do after we have a full assessment. And Viperion. If possible, give us as long a chance as you can.”

_Second Chance!_

    Ladybug: “Viperion, give us a–”  
Viperion: “Second chance? Already did. They can’t wait.”  
Ladybug: “Great.”  
Viperion: “Then you’re going to like my next news even less. You made sure to tell me to let past you know that we’ll need everyone. Robin and Chat Noir included.”  
Ladybug: [fuck my life] “Everyone fan out and make absolutely sure this place is locked down behind you. Meet at the Eiffel Tower. We’ll take them out hard and fast and be back here before Hawkmoth can make another move.”  
Viperion: “You said that last time too.”  
Ladybug: [ _fuck my life_ ]

~^~

Chat Noir and Robin stare up at Gorilla.

Gorilla stares at Chat Noir and Robin.

He leans to the side, looking over their shoulders at the destroyed office.

Chat really regrets having any sort of hope for anyone in this house (himself included).

    Chat: “Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth. If you turn and walk away now we won’t stop you. Stay and you’ll be arrested just like he will.”  
[Gorilla raises a fist. And punches… the wall?]  
[Huh. Adrien hadn’t known about that false wall. Good to know even believing him fully on his side his father still kept secrets]  
Gorilla: [holds out a locked box but stops before handing it over and looks very pointedly at the picture of Adrien lying sideways on the floor.]  
Robin: “Adrien is aiding us. He is safely far away from all of this.”  
Gorilla: [nods, hands over box and then turns and walks away]  
Chat: [watching Gorilla walk away] “This is the best day ever!”  
Robin: “Today is the culmination of giving up hope in having either of your parents ever again.”  
Chat: “Yeah, but everyone I _hadn’t_ already given up hope on hasn’t let me down! It’s great!”  
Robin: “…Drake’s right. We have to formally adopt you. It’s no longer a question.”  
Chat: “Do I get a say?”  
Robin: “No.”  
Chat: “It’s just I’m pretty sure Mari’s got first claim.”  
[baton phone rings, oh hey look, speak and she’ll appear]  
Ladybug: “Did you get the evidence?”  
Robin: “Yes.”  
Ladybug: [ ** _lots_** of crashing in the background] “Good. Then pull back. We’ve got three akumas downtown and they’re not ones that can wait. Hawkmoth’s upgraded his butterflies.”  
Chat: “With what?”  
Ladybug: “Evil.”

~^~

    Chat: [staring out at the way worse than normal carnage] “Of all the times for him to finally learn strategy.”

~^~

“Lucky Charm!”

You got a mason jar! [triumphant trumpet noise]

That is… not helpful.

* * *

Ladybug crouches on the tallest roof, studying the carnage below her. Directly ahead of her Wreckage flies, blasting and smashing everything in reach. To her right, Proletariat is marching the streets, gathering an army that grows larger with each step. To her left Shadow Striker can’t even be seen under the all-encompassing, ever-growing gloom that has swallowed that part of the city. The team is scrambling on the ground, trying their best to hold back the tides. Next to her sits her useless Lucky Charm.

Chat jumps up next to her. “My Lady? We could really use a plan.”

“Hawkmoth has the advantage. He’s pushed us back and forced us on defense. From here he can just keep throwing supercharged akumas at us. We need to get back on the offensive and get to his inner citadel.” _be-be-be-be-beep!_ She reaches up for her earrings. “And whatever I’m going to do, I need to do it soon.”

“The house is locked down. He can’t run.”

“And how long do you think that’s going to last?” Robin asks, alighting beside them.

“He won’t leave without my mother. He won’t leave her behind.”

Robin pins Chat with a look. “He plans to rewrite reality itself. Do you truly believe there is any limit to what he would and would not do anymore?” Chat falls silent, turning away.

_be-be-be-be-beep!_

“You’re the only one who can purify them.”

Ladybug looks down at the spotted jar beside her and a light dawns. “I am,” she says slowly. “But I’m not the only one who can beat them! Ryuko!” she yells down. Ryuko stops, looking up. “There’s a craft store a block north! Go get us some mason jars!” She reaches into the void contained in her yoyo and pulls out a small vial of glowing powder. The only other success her magic lessons had yielded. She throws it down to Ryuko. “Dust them with this! Inside and out!” Ryuko nods and runs off.

“What are you thinking?” Robin asks.

“The team is going to fight the akumas. You’re right, they can’t purify them, but they can catch them.”

“Ohh! I get it! Akuma containment spell!”

Ladybug turns towards Chat, smiling fierce and bright. “Exactly.”

“You’re a geni–” Chat’s eyes go wide. Wreckage, having noticed her distraction, fires at Ladybug. “Look Out!” Ladybug turns just a second too late, catching the blast square in the chest. She lets out a cry of pain and falls off the building. Chat dives for her. His fingertips barely graze her arm, unable to grab her and he skids along the roof. Robin dives after, firing a grappling line as he goes.

Ladybug’s last sight is Robin’s hand reaching for her, then everything goes dark.

~^~

“Ladybug? Ladybug!”

Ladybug blinks her eyes open. Robin is crouched over her, a concerned furrow in his mask. “W–What happened?”

Robin scowls. “You took a direct hit and fell off a building is what happened,” he says, voice thick with enough worry she doesn’t even need fourteen years of practice to hear it. She sits up. They’re in an abandoned back storeroom somewhere. She can faintly hear the distant crashes and booms of the fight outside.

_be-be-be-be-beep!_

Marinette jolts. Her eyes immediately seek out Damian, still crouched next to her. She scrambles to her feet. “You need to leave.”

Robin rises, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes at her. “I know your identity is important but I’m not leaving you alone while you’re injured and untransformed.”

“You don’t understand! You have to–”

Three things happen in rapid succession.

Ladybug pushes at Robin, trying to get him to leave, when her legs give out from under her.

The final spot on her miraculous flickers out.

Robin steps forward reflexively to steady her and ends up with his arms full of an unmasked, untransformed Marinette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **…**


	13. There Are No Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Except When There Are)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I got a bigger reaction from the end of the last chapter than the one where I actually stabbed Marinette. Although, yeah, I can see how ‘like you’d really do it’ might stack against ‘ _THE_ identity reveal’.  
> And so, without further ado,  
> The Fallout

Marinette freezes. Around her Damian’s arms have locked up.

She risks a look up at him. He’s staring at her, face completely blank. All the times she’s seen him in his mask it’s never stopped her from seeing _Damian_ underneath it. She’s always been able to read his expressions as easily as if the mask wasn’t there at all.

Now though it truly is a mask, in every sense of the word.

“Bonjour Damian.” Damian’s arms tighten around her. Other than that he doesn’t move at all

She can’t read him like this. If he’d just speak she’d know what he’s feeling. His voice has been a part of her for her entire life. Even in the midst of all his secrets, he has never been able to hide a single emotion from her. If only he’d just _speak._

“Well? Say something.”

_“Marinette.”_

Marinette winces in spite of herself. That is not a good sound. “Surprise?”

“What are you _doing_ here?”

Marinette glances up, not sure if she’s supposed to answer or not. “Fighting Hawkmoth?”

“No.” His arms disappear from around her as Damian begins to pace madly back and forth. “No. No. No. You **_can’t_** be here.” Marinette takes a hesitant step forward, unsure of her welcome. Damian suddenly whirls around to face her, causing her to stumble back. “You promised me you’d remain safe!”

Marinette starts before indignation catches up with her. “I’m as safe as you!”

“I promised you I’d come _back_ safe. You promised me you’d _be_ safe.”

Tikki chooses this moment to fly in between the two of them. “Marinette is as safe as anyone else! I’d never let anything happen to her. She’s the best Ladybug I’ve ever had.

Damian’s hand goes to his sword. Marinette catches his wrist, stopping him before he can raise it. He would never raise it against Marinette but that says nothing of the little god who dragged her into this danger. With her free hand she fishes out her last macaron. “Tikki, could you leave us alone for a minute please?”

Tikki glances between the two of them clearly unwilling to leave her charge alone. Finally though she dips down and takes the cookie out of Marinette’s hand, darting away to a far corner of the room.

Marinette turns back to Damian. The blank nothingness of his expression had finally broken but she can’t say she likes the look of the sharp edges of determination and stubbornness that have replaced it. He twists their hands around until he’s the one holding her wrist. “You’re leaving,” he says pulling her toward the door.

For a minute what he said doesn’t register. “What?”

He ignores her, tugging her onward. “Right now. You are not staying in this fight. You’re going to go find somewhere out of the fighting where you’ll be safe.”

Marinette digs in her heels. “I am not leaving.”

“Yes you are.”

“This is my fight. I’m the one responsible for defeating Hawkmoth.” When Damian still doesn’t listen she yanks her hand away. She backs up until she’s out of reach, forcing him to have to turn and face her. Turn he does, staring her down, cast in the shadows of the room and the dim light of the chaos behind him, every inch as intimidating as anyone she’s ever fought. She wishes Tikki was back. She wishes she was Ladybug. She’s always braver in her mask. “You promised me you’d keep your head and listen.”

It’s the exact wrong thing to say.

Damian goes absolutely furious. He storms up to her, encroaching on her space until she’s forced to take another step back or risk being run over. _“You extracted that promise under false pretenses,”_ he hisses, voice full of more venom than she’d ever heard directed at her, _“ **knowing** I would be unable to refuse you, so you could use it as a shield against your sins.”_

Anger, white hot and burning shoots through her. “My sins?” she demands. “ _Mine?_ Let’s talk about _your_ sins for a minute there, shall we?

“You spent years lying and hiding everything and refusing to talk to me! It took me eleven years to learn your name! And even then I only learned it as a– a– consolation prize! Everything I’ve ever gotten out of you has been a fight! Everything is an ultimatum with you. You never compromise and you’re always right and anyone who dares think otherwise is either a fool or an enemy or both! It’s like you have no concept that everyone around you is human too, or could ever have any worth of their own!” She’s gone too far. She’s gone too far and she knows she has but she’s too angry to care.

“And you’re so much better?” Damian snarls. “You talk about ultimatums and always being right like you don’t do the exact same thing yourself! You talk about how you don’t want there to be any secrets between us while the whole time you were keeping this from me!

“I wanted to! I was going to! Tonight! You know I was going to tell you.”

“I know you were going to tell me something. Whether or not it would have been the truth or another half-lie we’ll never know.”

“Of course I would have told you the truth!”

“After everything was already over!”

“At least I had a time frame! Were you ever going to tell me about Robin? If I hadn’t revealed I already knew how many more years would it have taken you?”

“That is completely di–”

“It is exactly the same! It is _literally_ the exact same thing! The only difference is **_I_** understood! **_I_** didn’t fly off the handle when I found out! And let’s not forget _how_ I found out. When you screamed profanity at a ninja who was here to **kill** me, something you _never_ fully explained! Because you never explain anything!!”

“ ** _I_** am not the one who cultivated an entire relationship, who carefully maneuvered it from professional to personal solely as a false flag operation to gain information.”

“Don’t you dare Damian Wayne,” she says jabbing a finger against his chest. “Don’t you **dare.** Do you know how long I spent tying myself up in knots worrying about everything you said to me as Ladybug? About all the things you _refused_ to tell me about that I was going _mad_ over not knowing, that I _could_ know, as Ladybug, if only I asked. But I **didn’t.** Because you wouldn’t have been telling _me_. And to learn about it that way would have been wrong. You **_died_** Damian. You’ve killed people, and your mother leads a pack of ninja assassins and you’ve **_died._** And I couldn’t find a way to ask about any of it! Because you never! Tell me! **_Anything!!_** _”_

**_“I was trying to protect you!”_ **

**_“Maybe I wanted to protect you too!”_** Damian stops. Marinette forces herself to stop too, taking several deep breaths. Anger still bubbles just under the surface but it won’t do her any good. At least one of them needs to be calm. “You were in Gotham. You were an entire continent away. There was nothing you could have done. I’ve been there. I watch the Gotham news; I’ve seen Robin thrown through buildings, and off roofs. I’ve sat there and watched you get shot and stabbed and impaled and blown up. I’ve sat there unable to do **_anything_** but watch. I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t make you sit there, half the world away, and watch me get hurt while you couldn’t do anything.”

“I’m not in Gotham anymore.”

“No,” Marinette agrees. “You’re not. And that just makes everything that much more dangerous.” She closes her eyes, bracing herself for the next round of fighting. “You can’t stay in the field.”

“No.”

“Damian–”

“I’m not leaving your side.”

“It’s too dangerous.”

“I don’t care!” Damian snaps, grabbing her shoulders. 

“Well I do!” she snaps right back, anger flaring back up. “I know I’m not as skilled as you but this is _my_ fight! I know what I’m doing. Why can’t you step back and let me handle it!”

“Because I can’t lose you!” His voice cracks, breaking wildly on the last word. He pulls her forward, curling himself around her and clutching at her like he’s afraid she’ll vanish from under his hands. “I already saw you die once.” he rasps. “I can’t go through that again. I can’t lose you again.”

All of Marinette’s anger drains away. “Oh. Oh, Damian.” His arms tighten around her even more at the sound of his name on her lips. It’s almost painfully tight but she doesn’t care. She burrows herself deeper into the embrace, wiggling her arms free so she can curl them around his shoulders, fingers buried in the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m sorry,” she whispers into his chest. “I’m so sorry. I made you think you lost me.”

“Do not apologize for my failings.”

Marinette’s fingers tighten. She is tucks her head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his presence. “Don’t you dare Damian Wayne. Don’t you _dare_ blame yourself. It was my plan, my decision.”

“It was brilliant. You are brilliant. I’m the one who’s so weak I can’t separate your illusion from reality.”

“You’re not weak.”

“You’ve always been overly generous with your opinions of me. I am not half as good as you seem to believe.”

“Or maybe I just know you better than you do.”

“I’ve always known that to be true.”

“Feeling things doesn’t make you week. Being scared doesn’t make you weak,”

she says, wishing not for the first time there that she could go back and tell his younger self that. She would have told him every morning that he was trapped under his grandfather’s control until he understood.

“It’s stupid. It wasn’t even real. I should be able to–”

“I nearly lost myself. Those three months you were gone.” She shut her eyes, fighting back the wave of old, outdated grief. He’s here. He’s here and breathing and real underneath her fingertips. “That’s why I had to stop greeting you. Because every time I did only to know you weren’t there ripped my soul open. So I gave up. **_I gave up._** Because I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t.”

“You never told me that before.”

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to think I was weak.”

“Never. I could never think that.”

“I’m still scared. I’m scared every day. Because I love you. Because you are my soulmate. Because I watch you fight and get hurt and I know I could lose you again and I know what it feels like to lose you.” She forces herself to take a lean back. Not far, not out of the circle of his arms. But she needs to look him in his face for this next part. She needs him to understand. “I want you safe more than anything else in the world. I **_need_** you safe. But the world needs Robin.” She reaches up and traces the edge of his mask, the same way she did a lifetime and a single night ago. “This is a part of you. Just like it’s a part of me.”

“You’ve always been braver than me.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Damian reaches up and brushes the edge of her bangs, tracing a line down to the shell of her ear. “Please don’t ask me to go. If you ask me I’ll say yes so please don’t ask me. You’re right. I am scared. Because I love you and it terrifies me. Because you’re brave and strong and run headfirst into danger and I know I can’t stop you. Because you are perfect and good and everything good I’ve ever known gets taken away.” He drops his head, unable to both confess and meet her eyes at the same time.

Marinette reaches out and captures his chin the same way she had the night before. “I love you Damian Wayne. I have always loved you. I will always love you. I love you in every meaning of the word. And there is nothing in all of existence that could ever change that.” This time she doesn’t let herself think. She leans up and pressed her lips against his.

It’s a brief, fleeting thing. Her lips skim against his, lingering as they pull away.

And then her brain catches up with her.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ha–”

Damian surges forward, capturing her lips with his. He tastes of sweat and smoke, a sharp reminder of where they are. He’s unyielding, giving no quarter. But for all that it’s not a fight. He doesn’t kiss like it’s a battle. He kisses like it’s a question and a demand and a plea all at once. Like she is everything and will disappear like smoke if he stops. Marinette meets him step for step, tilting her head to deepen the kiss. She wraps her arms around the back of his head to pull him down to her. This. This is where she’s meant to be.

“I love you,” he says when they’re finally forced to break for air. “With every meaning the word holds.”

“Oh. Good,” Marinette says. Then her brain catches up for the second time and she wants to slap herself. “I just– I mean, good.” God she is such a failure. “That we both feel the same way. I mean– I love you. I’m _in_ love with you. With every meaning the word holds.”

Damian smiles, soft and fond and Marinette could stare at that smile forever. He leans in and cuts her off with another kiss. This time a light, chaste brush of lips, mirroring her first one. “You are perfect.”

“And good?” she teases remembering his previous words.

“And good.” he agrees. “You are perfect and good–”

“And yours.” If his kiss was question she only has one answer. “Yours to keep forever. Just so long as I get to keep you too.”

“Always. I’ve always been yours. I’ll always be yours.”

“Always,” she echoes.

* * *

Chat tumbles into the room detransforming as he goes.

    Adrien: “Hey there Bugaboo, Feathers. I really hope whatever fight you’re having is over. Because that one is very much not. [keys into the obvious] Oh hey, you’re still Marinette.”  
Marinette: “Yes, Chaton. I am.”  
Adrien: “So you found out.”  
Damian: “And you helped her keep it from me.”  
Adrien: [shrugs, entirely unconcerned] “She is my lady and I stand with her in all things. You should know this by now. [keys into the even more obvious] Am I interrupting something?”  
Marinette: “Yes, Chaton. You are.”  
Adrien: “Sorry. I’d offer to go away and pretend I was never here but I wasn’t kidding about the fight.”  
[extra loud boom]  
Marinette: “I think that’s our cue. I’m putting you in charge of the team. Chat and I will go back and storm the manor.”  
Damian: “You can’t go after that madman with only Adrien!”  
Marinette: “We’ll take Chloé with us. Her powers are more suited for one on one than brainwashed horde anyway.”  
Damian: “Pick someone who doesn’t actively decrease the effectiveness of your backup.”  
Marinette: “Fine. Pick whoever you want to add to our backup. Take the other three and take out the akumas.”  
Damian: “You’ll keep your promise?”  
Marinette: “Always.”  
Damian: [tucks a strand of hair behind her ear] “Alright. I trust you.” [strides of to make some akumas’ (and possibly some baby heroes’) lives absolute _hell_ ]  
[no goodbye kiss. sorry. Dami is still not that smooth and also 110% certain he wouldn’t leave if he did]  
Adrien: [sliding up to Marinette once Robin leaves] “Your _promise,_ huh?”  
Marinette: “Shut up and transform.”

~^~

    [Robin drops down on the other heroes.]  
Ryuko: “Where is Ladybug? Is she alright?”  
Robin: “She’s fine. Ladybug and Chat Noir are on their way back to Hawkmoth’s lair. Queen Bee, Viperion, meet up with them. Rena Rouge, Carapace, Ryuko, you’re with me.”  
Carapace: “But I thought Chat said you w–”  
Robin: [murder-death voice] _“There’s been a change of plans.”_ [Stop. Scaring. The Babies.]  
[Rena Carapace and Ryuko jump back into their fight. Queen Bee takes off but Robin stops Viperion before he can follow.]  
Robin: “Viperion. I have a request of you.”

* * *

Once they make it back to Agreste Manor they waste **no** time. They grab the nearest emergency kwami food stash and book it to Gabriel’s private office. Ladybug rips the secret floor panel clean off and Chat jumps in cataclysm hand first burning away the booby traps.

They end up in the solarium. Everyone gapes while Chat recharges.

    Bee: “This place is like, so totally creepy.”  
Viperion: [noticing the display coffin in the middle of everything] “Is that–”  
Chat: “Emilie Agreste. Yeah.”

Chat pushes his way to the front of the group, moving them away from his mother. “Come on, we need to get to the conservatory. Adrien said it’s through here.”

“Why would Adrien have told you anything?” Everyone whips around back to the center of the room. Nathalie appears from behind Emilie, leaning against the coffin for support.

“Adrien told you how to get in here. Why would you Adrien help you?”

“Um, because he’s not a total psycho?” Queen Bee snarks.

Nathalie stares at them “So you managed to turn Gabriel’s own son against him.”

Ladybug steps forward. She puts a steadying hand on Chat’s shoulder before turning her attention to Nathalie. “Adrien understands the truth.” Nathalie is silent. She doesn’t move from her place behind Emilie’s shadow. After a long moment Ladybug and her team turn back to the elevator. They’re most of the way across the walkway when they hear it.

“Duusu! Spread My Feathers!”

A feather floats over, landing on the elevator. The next thing they know there is no elevator, just a great hulking beast, huge jaws where the door once were.

“I can’t let you get to Gabriel. Not yet. Not without going through me.”

“Alright,” Chat Noir, says adjusting his grip on his baton and turning back around. “We’ll just have to deal with you…” The room is empty save for Emilie. “first? Where’d she go?”

“All Gabriel wants is his family whole again.” Mayura’s voice echoes around the room coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.

“Yeah?” Chat asks, moving to the center of the room while the others spread out into the rafters. “And where do you fit in this perfect family of his?”

“I don’t matter. So long as Gabriel’s dream is realized I don’t care what happens to me.”

“That’s not a family! You can’t have a family where one member of it doesn’t matter!”

~^~

While Chat keeps Mayura’s attention the others keep searching.

“Urgh,” Queen Bee says, coming face-first with a cobweb. Is every fight going to be ‘hide and seek’?”

“It’s rarely as simple as ‘here’s badguy, now punch’,” Ladybug replies, scanning the other beams. If she were Mayura, where would she go… “Viperion. I don’t suppose you–”

“I’m still on my first pass. I want a little more information before I go back.”

A shadow moves in the corner of Ladybug’s vision. “There! I’ve got a plan. Bee, go down there with Chat, and be ready.”

    Chat: “Do you really think Adrien’s going to be happy when you die?  
Mayura: “He will understand when he has his mother back.”  
Ladybug: [swoops in and kicks Mayura off the rafter she’s hiding on.]  
Bee: “Venom!”

Wobble Wobble.

Topple.

Face plant.

Ooh that’s gotta hurt.

Eh, still better than slowly being torn apart from the inside by a magical lapel pin.

    Bee: [tears pin off Mayura] “Oh my god just shut up. Adrien would never trade one life for another. And he wouldn’t want anyone else either.”  
Chat immediately glomp-hugs her  
Ladybug: “Two down, one to go. Hawkmoth’s out of others to hide behind.”

And then the wall explodes.

* * *

Everyone goes flying. The room goes still, silent save for the last rumbles of shifting rubble and pained groans.

“Is everyone alright?” Ladybug asks sitting up. She immediately slips back down, clutching her ribs.

“I can’t find Nathalie!” Chat calls back.

“Forget Nathalie!” Queen Bee yells. “I think Viperion’s really hurt!” Ladybug and Chat Noir both scramble over. Queen Bee is crouching over Viperion, who’s laid out on the ground, eyes closed. When Ladybug shakes his shoulder Viperion groans and his eyes flutter but don’t open yet.

“I’ll call up a Lucky Charm. He just needs a Miraculous Cure. He’ll be fine.”

“It’s never failed us before.”

“Right. Lu–”

And then a new sound can be heard.

The flapping of butterfly wings.

A single akuma flies through the smoke.

And then two.

And then ten.

All at once a flood of supercharged akumas fly through the hole in the wall. They never stop, more and more following, blocking out everything else.

Ladybug stares at the approaching wave of supercharged Butterflies in dawning horror. “She didn’t need to win. She just needed to stall.”

And then the tide reaches them, swallowing them whole underneath it.

~^~

Robin’s team finishes taking out the last of the akumas. They regroup, each of the baby heroes holding a jar with a still-evilized Battle Butterfly. Carapace holds his jar up to study his akuma. “That wasn’t so hard,” he says, tapping on the glass.

“Speak for yourself,” Rena pants. She scrubs her hand through her hair, cement dust falling to the ground. “I hope Ladybug’s Miraculous Cure works even with a time delay.”

“Come on,” Robin says ignoring both of them. “We have to get back.”

Ryuko nods. “We must reunite with Ladybug and Chat N–” A wall of supercharged akumas swarms up at them. There are enough to briefly block out the sun. “Oh no.”

All three miraculous holders stare at the descending mass of akumas.

Robin however is only focused on the now-hidden Agreste Manor. _“Marinette.”_ He takes off running. “Please no please no _please no_ –”

A single akuma alights on his katana.

.

.

.

.

.

.

_S–Second Chance!_

    Robin: “Wreckage is the most mobile and actively dangerous. Even if we go after the others first we have to assume–”  
Viperion: [barreling back into the team] “Robin! You’re with me! We need a new plan!!”  
Rena: “Didn’t you _just_ leave?”  
Viperion: [wild-eyed] “Depends on your perspective.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was _thiiiisssss_ close to ending the chapter on the 'second chance' and not including the rewind. But in the end story structure won out against cliffier ending.  
> So we've got Lila, we've got Mayura.  
> Next time, we clear the decks and then, the asshole of the hour himself, Hawkmoth.


	14. A Ladybug Flaps Her Wings a Butterfly Falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No we are not giving Ladybug actual wings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also the part where we start non-lethally going Ten Little Indians on the support cast.  
> Me, writing this chapter:  
>  _I hate this chapter so much. I want to punch it in its metaphorical face. Why is it so damn hard to write why did I insist on so much real prose why won’t it just dii iieeeeeeeee…_  
> Me, after finishing:  
> …I'll take it.
> 
> Fair warning, Gabe gets a little dark. And disturbing. He may have snapped a little at the end there.

_Second Chance!_

     Robin: “Wreckage is the most mobile and actively dangerous. Even if we go after the others first we have to assume–”  
Viperion: [barreling back into the team] “Robin! I need a minute! We have a new plan!”  
Rena: “Didn’t you _just_ leave?”  
Viperion: [smirks] “Depends on your perspective.”

* * *

And now, an interlude in the Batcave

    Batman is getting a call from the watchtower  
Superman: “Batman. Where is Robin?”  
Batman: “He’s visiting friends.”  
Wonder Woman: “There are reports of him being sighted in Paris.”  
Batman: “Like I said, visiting friends.”  
Superman: “We’re not allowed in Paris. We’re not allowed in _France_ at all.”  
Batman: “Paris has officially become a family matter. You should be grateful Ladybug requested Robin be the only one to go.”  
Superman: “Oh yes. Thank you Bruce ever so much for the _slightly smaller_ diplomatic incident.”  
Batman: “You’re welcome.”  
Superman: _“It. Was. Sarcasm.”_  
Wonder Woman: We can manage the fallout. But you have to give us something to work with.”  
Batman: “I can’t.”  
Superman: “I hate you.”  
Batman: “The only thing I can give you is something you can’t use.”  
Superman: **_“Try us.”_**  
Batman: “Damian’s soulmate is in Paris.”  
Superman: …  
Wonder Woman: …  
Superman: “I’m sorry, what?”  
Batman: “You heard me.”

    Bonus  
Clark: “Damian’s soulmate. What are they like?”  
Tim: “She’s great. Civilian. No idea how Damian ended up with someone so sweet and caring.”  
Diana: “Civilian? That could get complicated.”  
Jason: “Don’t worry about it. She’s also fucking terrifying.”  
Dick: “She’s already handled Talia’s ninjas and blackmailed Ladybug.”  
Clark and Diana: …  
Steph: “What’d you expect? She’s _Damian’s._ ”

* * *

We now return you to your previously scheduled fight.

    [Robin and Carapace run off.]  
Rena: “I guess it’s down to the three of us.”  
Viperion: [detransforms and immediately almost passes out]  
[Rena and Ryuko scramble to catch him]  
Rena: “Whoa! Are you alright?”  
Luka: “Don’t feed your kwami Ladybug’s cheat code and drink one yourself at the same time. Bad idea.”  
Rena: “You mean the _exact thing_ Ladybug explicitly told us **_not to do?”_**  
Ryuko: “Why would you do that? Ladybug was clear about the risks, as well as the proper way to use it.”  
Luka: “Robin.”  
Rena: [I’m gonna have to try to fight Robin now aren’t I?] “He asked you to ignore Ladybug’s warnings?!” [fuck. I **am.** ]  
Luka: “No.”  
Rena: [oh thank god]  
Luka: “He asked me to keep an eye on her. I decided I needed a longer second chance.”  
Ryuko: “You’re an idiot.”  
Luka: “Thanks. I’m just going to fall unconscious for a few minutes. Cool?” [no Luka, not cool] [passes out anyway]  
Rena: “I guess it’s down to the _two_ of us.”

* * *

Ladybug, Chat Noir and Queen Bee go to deal with Mayura. Robin and Carapace do not.

    Robin: “We’re going to blow the wall with a controlled explosion before Hawkmoth can with a cascading one.”  
Carapace: “We’re going to _what?!_ Shouldn’t we be _stopping_ the explosion!?!”  
Robin: “No. Now be quiet. The timing has to be perfect. As soon as I give the word cast as large a shelter as you can.”  
Carapace: “And how long am I holding it for?”  
Robin: “As long as needed.”  
Carapace: “Right. [salutes Robin with one of his power up bottles] “Bottom’s up and here’s to bad life decisions.” [downs it]  
…  
…  
*BOOM*  
Robin: “Now!”  
Carapace: **_“Shelter!”_**

And now all the Butterflies are trapped in Carapace’s shield. With him. And Robin.

    Carapace: “Holy Sh– [hunches into a little half-ball, frantically chanting] Ladybug’s plans are always crazy. Ladybug’s plans are always crazy. [tries to look for Robin through the wall of Butterflies] Hey uh, just a quick question. On a scale of 1 to 10 with one being ‘akuma’ and 10 being the most chill how relaxed and happy are you right now?”  
Robin: “Negative 2.”  
Carapace: “That is not encouraging dude. You’re not exactly helping me stay calm. [the Butterflies move closer to him] _Ladybug’s plans are always crazy. Ladybug’s plans are always crazy._ ”  
Robin: “I’m not in here to keep you calm.  
Carapace: “Then why are y– [Robin flings his sword at one of the Butterflies, impaling it] –Eeep!”  
Robin: “I’m here to kill them.”  
Carapace: “You are scary dude.”

* * *

    Nathalie: “So you managed to turn Gabriel’s own son against him.”  
Ladybug: “Three.”  
Chat: “Two.”  
Ladybug: [Chat, Ladybug and Bee brace themselves] “One…” [in the distance] *BOOM*  
Nathalie: “No!”  
Chat: “Aw, did we trigger Hawkmoth’s little trap too early?”  
Ladybug: “It’s over Mayura. There is no reason to stall us anymore. Stand aside.”  
[heroes turn to walk away]  
…  
Nathalie: Duusu! Spread My Feathers! I won’t let you reach Gabriel. Not without going through me.”

* * *

     Rena: “I have a plan. We’re going to get Wreckage to take out Shadow Striker for us.”

Rena creates an illusion of more gloom in the style of Shadow Striker and directs it toward Wreckage, making it follow him at every turn. It takes almost no time for Wreckage to get angry. Wreckage flies into the heart of the real shadows. Sounds of violence erupts.

Ryuko dives in, breaking the sunglasses holding Shadow Striker’s akuma.

    Ryuko: “Why aren’t you dropping the illusion? Shadow Striker has been defeated.”  
Rena: “But Wreckage doesn’t know that. We can sneak up on him.”  
[a stray blast flies out of the gloom forcing both girls to dive away.]  
Ryuko: “Or get shot while we can’t see.”  
Rena: “Or that. Okay, new plan. _thinklikeLadybug thinklikeLadybug…._ Go up. Wreckage still thinks he’s going after Shadow Striker. I’ll lead him into a dead end and we can cut him off and get the drop on him.”  
Ryuko: [feral grin while pulling out sword] “I like this plan.”

* * *

Checking back in with the bird and turtle team.

    Carapace: “So. You were really interested in Chat and Kagami’s conversation back at the warehouse.”  
Robin: “Focus.”  
Carapace: “It’s called keeping myself distracted from the literal horde of super-evil akumas I’m trapped with!”  
Robin: “…Chat Noir can get himself into trouble in an empty room. Ladybug was busy with Césaire. [hacks violently at Butterflies] Is that a satisfactory answer?”  
Carapace: “Totally! [not remotely but no _way_ is he saying that to bird boy]…Feeling any better yet?”  
Robin: [stabbing Butterfly number 247] “No.”  
Carapace: [eying the walls of his shield wondering if he should drop it and try to book it to backup now or wait until Robin actually gets akumatized. No way will he be able to take him] “Should I be worried I’m about to be trapped in a small space with a Robin-akuma?”  
Robin: “No. [slices numbers 248 and 249 in half] I promised Ladybug I would not get akumatized. I hold to my promises.”  
Carapace: “Ladybug huh? You like her, don’t you?”  
Robin: [stares straight at Carapace as he stabs a butterfly into the ground and grinds it in]  
Carapace: “I’m going to shut up now.”  
Robin: “Wise choice.”

* * *

Shadow Striker is down!

Wreckage is down!

Great!

Now we only have the literal army left.

    Rena: “I’ve got no plan.”  
Ryuko: “Do we know where his akuma is?”  
Rena: “The paper mâché medal on his chest.”  
Ryuko: “Can you make an illusion so his army can’t see him but he thinks they’re still with him?”  
Rena: “A double illusion? I don’t– [pulls herself together and pulls out her last bottle] I’ll make it work.”  
Ryuko: “Good. Have the jar ready. This time I have a plan.”  
[Ryuko strides out into the middle of the street.]  
Proletariat: “You! You think you’re better than the rest of us! Wielding superpowers, holding yourself above the world! You will give us your miraculous and perish!”  
Ryuko: “You’re right, I did hold myself above the world. But no more. Your words have moved me. I ask to join your cause and offer up my miraculous as proof of my dedication. Longg! Open Sky!”  
Rena: _“That is **worse** than no plan!”_  
Luka: “What’d I miss?”

One small no-longer-superpowered teenager vs a superakuma.

Or, to put in _proper_ context.

One master swordswoman with a superhero-grade collapsible baton vs a poor sap who expects nothing.

We only need one good hit.

Proletariat is **_fucked._**

* * *

    Robin: [stabs the last Butterfly]  
Carapace: [sitting doubled over on the floor, eyes squeezed shut focusing for all he’s worth.] [Robin goes over and touches his shoulder] “I need to _focus._ ”  
Robin: “You can drop the shelter.”  
Carapace: “Oh thank god.” [immediately detransforms]  
Robin: “Go join the others. Hawkmoth’s trap is sprung but there’s still a cascading explosive set-up that he can trigger. I’m going after it.”

* * *

     Chat: “Happy?”  
Mayura: “Mother.”  
Ladybug: [kick]  
Bee: “Venom!”

Wobble Wobble

Topple

Face plant

Second verse, same as the first.

    Ladybug: “Queen Bee, secure Nathalie and Emilie then wait for the others. Chat and I are going after Hawkmoth.”

* * *

“Ready Kitty?”

“No way in hell.”

Ladybug slips her hand into her partners. Together they kick the door down. “Hawkmoth! You may as well give up! There’s no one else to hide behind!”

The dome is empty.

It’s dark save for a single beam of light in the exact center of the room from the partially open shield over the window.

“Alright,” Chat says as he steps cautiously into the room and leans forward to peer into the gloom. “Am I the only one who’s getting _really_ tired of all the disappearing villains today?”

Ladybug follows after him, yoyo spinning. “He can’t hide for long.”

“Who said anything about hiding?” a voice says behind them. The turns just in time to see the kick aimed straight for them. They both dive out of the way. Ladybug twists in midair, turning her fall into a handspring and launching herself into the darkness Hawkmoth had attacked from. He’s already gone and her kick only meets empty air. A cane slashes out of the dark, nearly cracking her skull.

Chat dives into shadows, natural night vision meaning that his attack does land. His claws latch into Hawkmoth’s arm scouring four lines into it. Hawkmoth grabs Chat by the scruff of his neck, flipping him into the floor. Chat instinctually rolls out of the way, expecting a hit.

No hit comes.

Instead Hawkmoth has pulled out a small controller.

_*ch-clnk chhhh–*_

Adrien’s eyes go wide, recognizing the sound.

 ** _“Get Down!!”_** Ladybug drops. A missile flies overhead, whizzing through where her head had been only seconds earlier. It explodes against the far wall, lighting up the entire room.

Night vision plus blinding explosions, not a good match. “Guagh!” Chat stumbles back, shielding his eyes.

_*ch-clnk chhhh–* *ch-clnk chhhh–*_

“Chat look out!” Ladybug tackles Chat Noir. The missile shoots past close enough to singe the end of her pigtail. She twists to her feet yoyo spinning just in time to catch the next one. It explodes against her shield, sending both of them skidding backwards.

“Got a plan My Lady?”

“Not yet.” _*ch-clnk chhhh–* *ch-clnk chhhh–**ch-clnk chhhh–*_ “I think right now the plan is don’t get hit!!”

~^~

Nino stumbles into the solarium just as Chloé finishes tying up Nathalie. “I’m here!” Chloé glances up, tossing Nathalie next to Emilie’s coffin.

“You’re late. Did you and Robin take care of… whatever it was you were doing?”

“You mean the five thousand akumas that would have destroyed the entire city? Yeah.”

“Chloé!” Alya and Kagami come running in, supporting a still-woozy Luka between them. “Nino! Where are the others?”

“Apparently there’s a bomb somewhere. Robin’s handling it.”

Luka nods, making an effort to stand on his own. “There is. A nasty one.”

“Okaaay… Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

Chloé scowls. “They went after Hawkmoth. Give me some kwami food I’m out.”

“We’re out too.”

“Survey says we’re all out.”

“Urgh! You’re all useless!”

“It does not matter” Kagami says, pulling her baton out now that her hands are free again. “We need to go help them.”

“Um,” Nino waves his hand gesturing to himself and the others all detransformed and some form of exhausted. “In the state we’re in we’re more likely to get in their way than help them.”

“You can stay. But I am going.” The others watch as she strides toward the elevator, baton held at the ready. As one they scramble up to follow.

~^~

Ladybug and Chat Noir start gaining ground. The missiles have a pattern to them. Not enough to beat them yet but enough Ladybug has time to analyze between blasts. She takes off in a sprint, flipping backwards at the last second leaving the missile chasing her flying straight at Hawkmoth. His eyes go wide as he throws himself out of the way, and incidentally, right into the path of Chat’s baton. He barely manages to dodge, desperately calling up a missile to force the hero back.

The tide has shifted. Hawkmoth is losing. The missiles aren’t going to last forever.

Hawkmoth, consummate coward that he is, realizes and prepares to flee. Looks like Robin was right about there being nothing he wouldn’t be willing to leave behind.

He launches all the remaining missiles at once. While Ladybug and Chat Noir are distracted he makes a break for it.

He makes it ten steps before he comes face-to-face with the detransformed baby heroes.

Looking decidedly less heroic than with this whole attack started.

“Stand aside,” he snarls, hefting his cane and preparing to go through them.

The others don’t move. Hawkmoth sweeps out his cane, barreling through them, and prepares to run. He’s hit in the knee. When he stumbles he is met with a two-by-four to the face.

Hawkmoth actually looks at the collection of children in front of him. Known allies of Ladybug. Lila’s threats should have sent them running. Not standing there wielding… was that a brick?

    Hawkmoth: “What the hell?!”

Surprise Fucker!! The baby heroes are **still armed!!!**

The babies have got no superpowers right now. But they do have:

  * One collapsible baton (Kagami)
  * Two lengths of rebar (Nino, Luka)
  * One 2x4 (Alya)
  * One length of rope tied around half a brick (Chloé)
  * An unending well of deep, long-standing aggression toward Hawkmoth ( _EVERYONE_ )
  * (They’re all also absolutely _wiped_ but shush. They’re gonna try anyway.)



Hawkmoth gets serious. Behind him the sounds of explosions are trailing off. He needs to leave _now_ or risk having to fight Ladybug and Chat Noir. If you think fighting against literal children would temper Gabriel even slightly you are gravely mistaken. 

So ya’ll remember they’re untransformed and totally wiped, yeah?

They’re not going to win this fight. They’re not even going to make a _dent._

Ladybug and Chat Noir skid into view just as he gets through the reserve heroes. Rather than fight fair, (yeah right) Gabriel pulls out a detonator. “My akumas are gone. My bomb isn’t,” he says, raising it threateningly. “Now you are going to hand over your miraculouses or–“

Robin busts onto the scene katana at the ready.

Fortunately, the team didn’t need to win. They just needed to stall.

Robin holds out his hand and drops the inner components of the explosive at Hawkmoth’s feet. “Try again.”

Hawkmoth fumbles for his cane, pulling a hidden sword from it. Robin lunges forward, locking his blade with Hawkmoth’s. He twists the blades, knocking the sword-cane out of Hawkmoth’s hand in one move. **“Try again.”**

Hawkmoth inches backward, glancing frantically back and forth. On his left is Robin, katana held at the ready. On his right, Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Chat strolls closer, baton slung over his shoulders. “We’re just ruining all your plans today, aren’t we?”

Ladybug grins at her partner, holding up her yoyo. “Should we ruin a few more?”

“I thought you’d never ask My Lady.”

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug throws her yoyo in the air, receiving–

“A… sealed jar?”

Ladybug glances around. Nothing lights up.

Robin meanwhile positions himself into a flanking post, moving ever closer to his target. “While I’m sure any plan you would devise around your lucky charm would be truly impressive, I’m not certain we need it.

“You want me to try again?” Hawkmoth snarls, reaching into his suit. “Fine.”

*BOOOM*

If the man has actual missiles in his conservatory of evil I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say he might have a self-destruct in there somewhere. Robin took out his _trap_ but he didn’t go looking for any _other_ explosives that might have already been there.

The floor buckles under them. Chat stumbles, shoving his baton through the wall. He extends it toward the baby heroes who with no suits to aid their reflexes have fallen to the floor. Ladybug, trips into Robin who braces himself against her. “Second set of explosives,” he mutters angrily, “Stupid, stupid. Should have realized–”

“Beat yourself up later,” Ladybug says pushing away. “Right now we need to–” A second, more violent shudder goes through the floor. Ladybug’s lucky charm and yoyo both go flying. Hawkmoth lunges for the lucky charm, snatching it out of the air. As soon as it’s in his hands he turns and runs back into the conservatory. “No!”

And then a great, unearthly groan can be heard above them. Ladybug looks up to see a steel girder come loose, falling straight toward their destransformed teammates.

“Everybody hold on tight! Ladybug! catch!” Chat swings his baton, flinging the others straight toward Ladybug and Robin and himself straight toward the beam. “Cataclysm!”

Chat Noir destroys the beam right as the floor beneath him gives way. There’s no place to land. Chat falls, disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

Hawkmoth races across the room toward the window. The blast shield has been damaged, panels sitting at odd angles, creating harsh angular strips of light and shadow. If he can just get away he can regroup, continue his crusade from somewhere else. He will get his Emilie back– He slams his elbow against the glass. It doesn’t break. If he still had his cane he’d be able to– He hurls Ladybug’s lucky charm at the window. The jar shatters against it, spilling shining white sand everywhere. A large crack runs through the window but it holds. There’s a screech of snapping steel and terrified screams followed by the cry of cataclysm.

The small army of _children_ that had dared attack his home spill into the room in a pile of bruised and bleeding limbs.

Something skitters past them, bumping against his foot.

A sword.

Not his. The non-miraculous holder’s. The foreign hero.

Ladybug sits up, rubbing her head. “Where’s Chat?” she asks. Suddenly her eyes go wide. “Chat!” She lunges for the abyss just past the door. Only the arms of the foreign hero around her waist hold her back.

Chat Noir is not with them.

_The black cat miraculous is not with them._

Hawkmoth picks up the sword, testing its weight.

If they will not give them their miraculous he will take them by force.

“I had no qualm with you Ladybug. All I wanted was to make the universe give me my wife back. To hear her voice again.”

He will kill them.

Ladybug turns noticing him for the first time. She stumbles to her feet trying to hide her exhaustion. The day has taken more out of her than she wanted to show. But Hawkmoth can see everything. “You can’t force a miracle! It’s not just foolish it’s dangerous. You’re far more likely to destroy what you still have trying to get back what you’ve lost.”

“Isn’t that what you do every day _Ladybug?_ ”

He will kill Ladybug and take her earrings from her still cooling body. He will find Chat Noir’s corpse and take his ring from it.

“Ladybug **_is_** a miracle,” the foreign swordsman says, rising beside her. “She does not _force_ anything.” At least one of his arms is broken and there is blood dripping down the side of his face. He is not nearly as invulnerable as his companions. Good. He will die first. It will serve as a perfect distraction for the others.

Hawkmoth steps forward, crushing Ladybug’s pitiful lucky charm further underneath his feet. “I wonder if you’d feel the same way if I let Ladybug go find her precious Chat Noir’s body. I think you’d be surprised by how quickly your oh so precious Ladybug betrays that stance of hers. Not that it matters. You’ll never get the chance to find out.” He lashes out, slashing at the hero with his own sword. The boy jumps out of the way just in time, crashing against a broken piece of shielding. Hawkmoth raises his stolen sword again. “I will bring my wife back and then I will destroy each and every one of you!”

“There’s no need for all that Father.”

Hawkmoth turns.

Standing in the doorway holding up a very familiar green and black ring is his son. “After all, we’re halfway there already.”

“Adrien. What are you _doing_ here?” His son was supposed to be in school. He was supposed to be safely away from this.

“Lila wasn’t the only one to notice a chunk of the class missing.” Adrien rolls the ring over his fingers, studying its edges. “He thought I was on his side. He thought I believed in what he was doing. He let me get close. And he never even suspected a thing.” Adrien smirks and holds up a familiar spotted yoyo in his other hand. “He had this on him too. Seemed to think you’d need it.”

“I am going to _murder_ you,” the foreign hero snarls.

“ _I’m_ going to throw you through a window,” Ladybug says, inching to the right. “If you like dramatic entrances to much.”

“Don’t be like that Ladybug.”

“I hope the sands of time let you see more clearly.”

“I could say the same for you,” Adrien says. Then he turns away from her and starts walking over to Hawkmoth, half of their dream out for him.

One of the children fumbles up to his knees. A dark-skinned boy Hawkmoth vaguely recognizes as one of his son’s friends. “Dude. Don’t do this.”

Adrien’s hand curls into a fist around Chat Noir’s ring. “I’m sorry Nino. I tried. I tried to find another way. But I refuse to lose my family.”

Sadness and betrayal floods through the room, pulsing through the butterfly miraculous. “No matter what you have to tear down and destroy to do so?”

“You guys didn’t really think this plan would work, did you? It’s crazy. But then again,” the barest hint of a smirk curls at the edge of his mouth before vanishing. He turns and locks eyes with his former friends and classmates. “I guess Ladybug’s plans are always crazy.”

There’s a moment of absolute stillness and everything speeds up.

Adrien turns, chucking the yoyo at Ladybug. The hand still holding the ring curls into his chest as he throws himself against Hawkmoth. The foreign hero darts forward, grabbing Adrien around the waist and sprinting straight for the window. The abused glass finally gives way sending the two boys flying through the air in a halo of broken glass. The foreign hero twists midair and fires a grappling hook. Ladybug catches her yoyo, snapping it out and wrapping it around Hawkmoth’s sword, yanking it away. Chat Noir comes diving in through the window his son just escaped from. He rolls, snatching up a handful of sand. Ladybug’s yoyo snaps out again. Chat throws the handful of sand directly into Hawkmoth’s face, blinding him. Hawkmoth throws his hands up trying to shield himself. The yoyo cord warps itself around him, hopelessly trapping him. Hawkmoth falls.

“Cataclysm!”

He cracks his eyes open. A seething mass of destructive energy was held centimeters from his face. He looks past it to bright green, coldly furious eyes. He does not move. A slim red and black spotted hand reaches out and plucks the butterfly miraculous from him.

“It’s over Gabriel. You won’t control anyone ever again.”

There’s a clawed black leather fist screaming toward his face. Then nothing at all.

* * *

    Robin: [swinging back into the room] “I was serious about murdering you.”  
Chat: “What? He deserved to get punched!”  
Ladybug: “What were you _thinking?_ ”  
Chat: “I was improvising! It was the best way to get your yoyo back and give you time to come up with a plan! And it worked!”  
Ladybug: “Never again Chaton. Do you hear me? **_Never again._** ”  
Nino: “What about Adrien?”  
Robin: “He’s safe. An **idiot.** But safe.”  
Nino: “Yeah, but like, what are we going to say about him being here?”  
Ladybug: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. He was never here. Officially all five of you and Adrien have been safely hidden away all morning with Marinette Dubain-Cheng.”  
Chloé: “Dupain–Cheng? _That’s_ our alibi?”  
Nino: “We _have_ an alibi?”  
Kagami: “Do we think that’s going to hold?”  
Robin: “She’s not your only alibi. Marinette has been in near-constant contact with Damian Wayne.”  
Ladybug: “I have?”  
Robin: “Yes. And there’s an electronic trail to prove it. Since you were always Adrien’s alibi we always planned on bolstering it. Red Robin’s currently acting under the assumption your shelter is magical in nature and doesn’t get cell service. He’s been faking it all day.”  
Ladybug: “Oh.”  
Robin: “I imagine over the course of the day every member of Damian’s family has dropped in on him and seen all of you. And would be willing to swear to it.”  
Chloé: “Why would a foreign billionaire and his entire family lie for us?”  
Alya: “Ummm… because Damian’s Marinette’s soulmate? And his entire family adores her?”  
Chloé: [banshee screech] “ _WHAT?!?!”_  
Alya: “Welcome to the inner circle of common knowledge. The entire class knows.”

* * *

Everyone stares down at the broken jar.

“So do we need to collect all of the sand for this to work, or…” Luka asks. “Because I’m not actually sure how we’re going to do that.”

Ladybug closes her eyes and extends her senses, _feeling_ for lack of a better word for the jar. “I think… I think I just need to throw the biggest pieces of the jar.”

Alya shuffles nervously. Next to her Kagami ducks her head looking embarrassed. “You should know before you send out your ladybugs that part of downtown is kind of… crushed.”

“You should also know we never actually shut down any of the traps to get down here, we just destroyed them,” Chat pipes in. “So they _miiight_ come back online once you fix them. Trapping us here.”

“Tt. I can handle the security system.”

Chat blinks at the boy next to him. “Oh. Good. Robin can handle it.” He turns to Ladybug. “Robin will handle it.”

“Right. Then let’s do this.” The jar had mostly split into thirds with a few smaller pieces dotted around in the sand. Ladybug reaches down and grabs the three pieces. “Miraculous Cure!”

Thousands upon thousands of ladybugs burst into existence. They spiral out from over their heads soaring out into the city. The reserve heroes all stager over to the window watching the tendrils of healing and light curl and unfold around the city.

Ladybug hangs back, watching her team watch the magic. Robin comes up and stands by her side. “Pretty miraculous, huh?” she says, glancing up at him.

Robin – _Damian, **her** Damian_ – smiles at her. “ _You_ are miracle.” He wraps a hand around her waist, pulling her closer. She comes willingly, hands already reaching up for his shoulders. “I love you,” he whispers against her skin. She barely notices her ladybugs returning, circling around each them like a caress. “May I kiss you?” Damian asks, barely louder than breathing.

“Always.”

His lips meet hers and it is perfect.

~^~

The last of the Ladybugs dissolves into sparkles of magic high in above Paris. Chat steps forward. The others watch as he lightly rests his hand against the newly healed glass before turning. Then he freezes.

“Oh My God.”

Everyone whips around. Ladybug and Robin are standing in the middle of the window’s spotlight, wrapped in an embrace.

Alya blinks, certain it’s an illusion. The scene doesn’t change. _“Oh my god.”_

“This explains so much!” Nino yells.

“It does?” Alya says, still blankly staring at her idol mid lip-lock with Robin.

“Do you _know_ how many bird jokes Chat Noir has made over the past few months?” Nino grabs her arms, shaking her. _“Do you??_ ”

 _“Wooooo!!!!”_ Chat Noir punches the air, grin wide enough to split his face. “I just won _ALL_ the bets!!!”

“You were betting on them?” Luka asks.

“ **Absolutely.** I had the insider information. _All_ of the batfamily owes me money.”

“You made a bet against Batman?” Kagami says.

Chat turns his Cheshire smile on them. “I didn’t just make a bet against Batman I **_won_** a bet against Batman.”

Chloé huffs, folding her arms. “We just took down Hawkmoth and this is what you’re focusing on?”

“I need to get my happiness from somewhere. Just let me have this.”

Light feminine giggles interrupt them. Ladybug is smiling at them, arms still looped around Robin’s neck. “Remind me again why we love him?” she asks Robin.

“Speak for yourself. You love him not me.”

“Ouch,” Chat cries, throwing a hand overdramatically over his heart. “That’s hurtful feathers. Weren’t you just saying something earlier about adopting me?”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

Ladybug giggles again, snuggling closer to Robin. “Yeah well me and Chat are kind of a package deal. You want me you’ll just have to learn how to deal with him too.”

Robin turns back to Ladybug, tilting her head up and smiling against her lips. “Somehow I think I’ll manage.”

“Yeah,” Marinette murmurs, leaning up to kiss Damian again. “Somehow I think we all will.”


	15. Happily Ever Onwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter. Whether you've been following this since I first dropped the first chapter or just found it now, thank you for joining me for 60,000 words of madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've given Damian a post-Robin name at the end there. Please don't kill me.

Everybody makes their way back to the main house. Chat gets the dubious honor of carrying the unconscious Gabriel. He’s very mature about it so he doesn’t drop him. More than twice. They pick up Nathalie alone the way. Emilie is… unanimously decided to be dealt with _later._ Lila gets fished out of the holding area and the cops are called. A surviving kwami restock kit is hunted down and the baby heroes are sent off to go hide on Marinette’s balcony. (Yeah they’re not happy about it either but if there was ever a ‘now let the grown-ups talk’ conversation this is it.)

The police arrive less than ten minutes later. Chat meets them at the gate, opening them for them and leading them through the drive. Most of the ladybugs had gone out into the city and Robin or no there were some traps Ladybug wasn’t willing to risk being reset so parts of the manor are still in disarray. As soon as Ladybug comes into view Chat gives a two-fingered salute and sprints off.

They’re all soot-stained and wary as they climb out of their cars, having spent the last few hours dealing with the fallout of a largely-Ladybugless triple akuma fight and a very belated Cure.

“Ladybug. What’s going on.”

Ladybug stands on the front steps of Agreste Manor. At her feet is a tied-up Gabriel Agreste alongside his assistant and a teenage girl.

“Officers. I see Chat let you in okay.”

“What happened?”

In response Ladybug holds up a single item. A small butterfly shaped broach. “It’s over. Hawkmoth has been defeated.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence. The police stare at the broach. Then at the man on the ground. All at once they scramble to contain him. A little late for that boys, but good job. You really got’em!

“You’re really sure that he’s Hawkmoth?”

“He is.” Adrien Agreste appears from inside the house. A shadow moves in the rafters behind him. “Chat said that it was– that it was time?”

Ladybug smiles reassuringly at him. “It is.”

Adrien nods. He shakily makes his way down the steps until he finds Officer Roger and holds out a black and grey data-stick and a small locked box. “He’s Hawkmoth and Nathalie’s Mayura. We have proof.”

The uniformed officer takes the items. The one next to him stares at Adrien skeptically. “And what’s your part in all this? No way did you know absolutely nothing about what your father was up to this whole time.”

The glare Ladybug sends him is enough to have him stumbling backwards. She wraps an arm around Adrien’s shoulders, still glaring. “Adrien has been helping us. We never would have been able to take down Hawkmoth without the information he gave us.”

“So that’s it then.” Gabriel wrenches away from the distracted grip of the policemen holding him. They scramble to get ahold of him but his entire focus is on his son. “You would betray your mother? We could have saved her, brought her back. Instead she’s gone forever because of you.”

Adrien steps out from Ladybug’s arm. He walks down to where Gabriel has been wrestled to the ground, staring down at his father. Cold blue eyes stare back at him. “Maman would be ashamed of you.”

Gabriel gets dragged away.

Adrien turns and does not watch him go.

    Officer Roger: “And what about the girl?”  
Lila: “I’ve been kidnapped!”  
Gabriel: “She worked for me!”  
Ladybug: “…She’s still a minor. We probably shouldn’t charge her with the full terrorism charge.”  
Officer Other than Roger: “Should we search the house?”  
Robin: “The house still needs to be secured. Come back tomorrow.”  
OOR: [jumps three meters in the air] _“Holy Fucking Shit!!”_  
Robin is not impressed.  
OOR 2: “Who is _that?_ ”  
Robin is even less impressed  
Ladybug: “I thought you were laying low.”  
Robin: “Apparently the French government is already aware of my presence. The League’s handling it.”  
Adrien: “I’m… just gonna go get Chat Noir.”  
Officer Roger: “Hold it. You’ll need to come down to the station with us.”  
[Adrien ignores him, peacing out into the house]  
Robin: “No.”  
Officer Roger: “He doesn’t have a choice. It’s the rules.”  
Robin: “No.”  
Ladybug: “Yeah that’s not happening. But Chat and I will make sure he comes down real soon. In the meantime we’ve got stuff to do and you’ve got some terrorists that should really be checked into a hospital. Unstable magic’s kinda draining.”  
Chat: [leaning out of the window] “Bu-bye now.”

~^~

Mari and Adrien make an appearance at her house. Adrien gets tackle hugged and cried on by pretty much everyone. Nino especially refuses to let him go until he promises never to do something that stupid again.

    Adrien: “So… do you want me to lie or do you want me to promise to _try_. Because I can only do one or the other.”

Chloé refuses to let him go at all.

    Adrien: “So does this mean we’re friends again?”  
Chloé: “Urgh! You stupid ridiculous idiot! If you’d just _told_ me it involved you I would have been there to help in a heartbeat.”  
Adrien: “But you didn’t need to know. You agreed to come fight anyway. You’re a true hero Chloé.”  
Luka: “Yeah you’re one of us now.”  
Alya: “Just remember you’re not the only hero on the block here.”

The next few hours are spent ~~in a cuddle pile~~ strengthening their alibis. There’s also a lot of kwamis floating around. Playing ‘keep the kwamis from accidently outing the guardian’ all night is _fun_.

Night falls and the others go home. Then Robin calls. He’s been securing the manor all day and they both need to get back there.

It’s about Emilie.

Adrien’s been avoiding his mother’s coffin since he first saw it. He’s been avoiding looking too closely at it, he’s been avoiding thinking too much about it, he’s just been avoiding it in general. And he thinks he’s been pretty justified in doing so.

But now Damian drags him down to deal with it and he’s not able to avoid it any longer.

At first glance it’s exactly what he’d thought: his dead mother laying in the word’s creepiest display coffin because his father was _insane_. And at the second glance and the next ten glances after that. But when he really dives in deep and studies the readings Damian’s showing him it’s something else.

That is not a corpse. That is a magically suspended unconscious human.

.

.

.

Adrien’s going to go hyperventilate now.

~^~

Emilie and her…non coffin life box (name pending) are pulled up wholesale and spirited away to Damian’s safehouse. No _way_ are they letting the police or government anywhere near her.

Emilie is in a magical coma thanks to a broken miraculous. Broken miraculouses fall under the purview of the guardian. Marinette is the current guardian.

Mari’s got a **_loooot_** of studying to do.

~ ~ ~ ~

~Police work police work a whirlwind of police work~

Ladybug and Chat Noir spend the next several days popping in and out of the police station/city hall/embassy/Agreste Manor as needed. Chat tends to handle watching over the search of Agreste Manor which after one day under Robin’s oh so watchful glare from the shadows everyone assigned to the manor is more than happy about. Instead Robin joins Ladybug acting at her intimidation factor while she lays down the law. Which everyone who has to deal with Ladybug is decidedly _less_ than happy about.

The police start several – well betting pools would be against regs, so let’s say _spirited debates_ – after watching Robin constantly crowd into Ladybug’s personal space in what has to be a power play. And it’s obviously working. Ladybug never cares when Chat gets in her space and barely blinks when one of her team does. But Robin? It’s like watching a ping-pong match the way she’ll back up then rally herself and try to turn the tables on the foreign hero by getting even further into _his_ space.

Yes. Definitely a power play. Clearly.

Chat eggs all of these debates on. In support of his Lady. Obviously.

Adrien makes a handful of appearances at the police station/city hall/embassy/his currently under siege house. Always flanked by at least one superhero and a fleet of legal council. Oh, and Gorilla.

Amelie sweeps into town with the intention of ~~taking advantage of the situation~~ ~~taking control of the situation~~ taking her dear nephew away with her. She’s immediately met with emancipation papers and said fleet of legal representation. And a personal call from Bruce Wayne promising to destroy her fortune to ash if she even looks in her nephew’s direction with anything less than angelic intent.

Amelie would really like to know when the hell her brat of a nephew had wormed his way into the Wayne family’s golden graces. She couldn’t even get into any of their good graces. Hell, she couldn’t even get into their ambivalent graces. And she’s been trying for _years._

(Adrien mails the other Grahan de Vanily ring to Félix. Félix offers to come to Gabriel’s sentencing if he wants him there.)

* * *

Let’s see how the babies are doing.

I didn’t give anything like running tally of cheat-code juice unless it was suitably dramatic to mention it. So let’s get a full count now, shall we?

  * Chloé: 0 + temporal shenanigans total of 2 = Perfectly fine.
  * Kagami: 0 + temporal shenanigans total of 3 + challenging for Luka’s reckless power up crown during the worst of the loops-that-no-longer-are = Raging headache that she resolutely ignores
  * Alya: 2 + temporal shenanigans total of 6 + following Kagami’s lead on ‘fuck consequences it’s the end of the world anyway’ = Feels a bit like she’s going to puke but at least the world’s not wavering as much. Anymore.
  * Nino: 3 + temporal shenanigans total of 7 + rounding out the ‘let’s cheat the apocalypse’ trend + pushing way past his limit holding shelter = ‘Oh honey I guess you really are sick. Why’d you even try to get out of bed?’



And the grand winner

  * Luka: 3 + temporally erased concussion + drinking two of them **at the same time** with no handy time loop erasing it for him = I’m going to curl into a ball and die now. (He’ll be fine. Just give it a couple weeks first.)



The Batfam (after one intense round of drawing straws that yes did draw blood) leave Steph and Cass watching the city while Bruce and the boys fly to Paris. Robin sneaks into the private airfield and wham bam all four Wayne sons were on that plane.

Now that he’s got an official cover Damian’s able to be in Paris as Damian. First stop, the Dupain-Cheng patisserie.

Oh.

Wow.

Up until now Marinette’s only ever seen Damian through a screen or with a mask.

Those eyes are _a lot_ greener in person.

Um.

She can handle this.

Right?

She can totally handle this.

(Just don’t stutter. Or trip. Or pass out.)

( _please_ don’t pass out.)

~^~

As far as Marinette’s parents ever know Damian and Marinette’s first meeting is this one, in the middle of the bakery, shyly staring at each other and whispering lovestruck hellos before falling into each other in an almost fairytalesque kiss.

Tom gets a picture of it. A copy of it sits in a place of pride in every home Marinette and Damian ever have.

But that’s long term. Let’s pull back some.

* * *

A couple days after the fight once things start settling Ladybug calls up her team for a meeting.

When the babies arrive at the warehouse they find Ladybug, Chat Noir and Robin and also Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin and _Batman._

Some highlights of the meeting:

    Alya: “Oh my god you’re Batman.”  
Batman: “I am.”  
Alya: “Can you get me Wonder Woman’s autograph?”  
[All the older birds start laughing.]  
Batman:…  
Ladybug: “Alya–”  
Kagami: “I would also be interested in Wonder Woman’s autograph.”  
Ladybug: “Can we maybe talk about this later–”  
Chat: “No wait. I didn’t know this was an option. I want Wonder Woman’s autograph too!”  
Robin: “If _I_ get you Diana’s autograph will you **Shut. Up?** ”

~^~

One recap of the final fight that quickly devolves into everyone trying to one up each other, wildly bouncing between arguing for themselves and for each other.

    Chloé: “I _stabbed Mayura!”_  
Luka: “Only because Ladybug set you up for it.”  
Alya: “Excuse me, my girl here took out an akuma **by herself** _while_ detransformed.”  
Kagami: “What about Nino holding back all those akumas?”  
Luka: “He was only able to thanks to me and Robin. I basically saved everything.”  
Nino: “Are we forgetting Chat sneaking in before the battle so we could get into the manor at all?”  
Luka: “Robin you’re an impartial observer. You can be the judge.”  
Chat: [laughing his _ass_ off] “Imp– Impartial!”  
Robin: Ladybug wins.”  
[Chat falls over laughing]  
Ladybug: “Choose someone else.”  
Robin: “Adrien loses.”  
Batfam: […What was that?]

~^~

Oh yeah, Adrien snuck out of Ladybug’s interdimensional safe-room and showed up to fake-out his dad.

All of the Batfam turn and _stare_ at Chat Noir.

    Luka: “So Robin already told you about how he loaned Adrien his ring to sell his whole fake betrayal?”

Staring intensifies.

~^~

So why was _Marinette_ their alibi anyway? How’d _she_ end up in the know?

Chat spins an opera-worthy tale of about Adrien and Marinette. How Ladybug and himself had taken Adrien up to a secluded roof before sharing the _dark truth_. How Adrien had refused to believe it, running off into the night until he stumbled blindly and exhausted onto Marinette’s balcony and spilled the whole story before passing out in her arms. How Adrien had awoken and refused to believe the night before was anything other than a horrible dream. How from there Marinette had taken it upon herself to convince him of the truth, becoming his closest confidant

    Chloé: “And how much of that story is bullshit?”  
Chat: [jabs a thumb at the Batfam] “More than even they know. But it’s mixed with the truth in such a way that it’ll hold in its entirety all the way until you learn the whole real story.”  
Nino: “I’m fine with that. I am more than happy to live a lie.”  
Alya: “Nino! Where’s your drive for the truth!?”  
Nino: “My last drive for the truth led me to asking Robin about his love life while trapped with him and five thousand akumas. I have _earned_ my blissful ignorance.”

~^~

    Robin: “I didn’t catch Hawkmoth’s previously set explosives.”  
[sympathetic noises from the other birds]  
Nino: “You took out the bomb. Why would you expect another explosive!?”  
Robin: “I didn’t even look for a second one.”  
[more sympathetic noises]  
Nino: “Again, who expects two explosives!?!”  
Hood: “Always expect a second explosion.”  
Nightwing: “It happens. You’ve never fought beside someone you like-like before. It’s a whole different kind of distraction. We’ll work on it.”  
Alya: “Did Nightwing just use the phrase _like-like_?”

~^~

Kagami tries to give Robin his baton back.

    The entire Batfam: No keep it please keep it actually let us give you a better one or you favor swords don’t you let us give you one of those.  
Nino: “…You guys are all obsessed with Kagami aren’t you?”  
Red Robin: “Oh we have files on all of you. I liked your newest mix. Not quite as much as the one before it but it’s good.”  
Nino: “…I haven’t released my newest mix yet.”  
Red Robin: “What’s your point?”

~^~

Luka, who’s still in ‘I swear I’m not a zombie’ mode, nearly faints.

Kagami shamelessly and ruthlessly outs his double chug of cheat code.

Ladybug _lays into him_. Have you ever seen aggressive fussing?

    Ladybug: [forcing him to sit down] “What were you **_thinking?_** [fluttering around him like her namesake] I told you that was too dangerous? How are you feeling? Is anything spinning? Is the world going in and out? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You’re smarter than this Luka why would you **_do_** that?”  
Luka: “I needed a longer second chance!”  
Ladybug: “That’s no excuse. [Luka opens mouth] I don’t care if it worked out in the end! [Luka shuts mouth] It wasn’t worth the risk.”  
Luka: “Your boyfriend asked me to keep you safe!”  
Nightwing: “What?”  
Ladbug: “He **_What?!”_**  
[Ladybug rounds on Robin]  
[so _that’s_ why all his brothers thought she was terrifying]  
Ladybug: “You _what?”_  
Hood: “Boyfriend?”  
Robin: “I stayed away! I didn’t let it affect my fight or yours. I stayed focused on the goal.”  
Ladybug: “That doesn’t mean you get to endanger my team!”  
Robin: “He’s fine!”  
Red Robin: “Wait no go back.”  
Luka: [sways dangerously]  
Ladybug: “He is _not_ fine! And that’s not the point!! He never should have drunk both in the first place!”  
Nightwing: “Can we talk about–”  
Robin: “Sometimes in a fight you have to take risks you normally–”  
Ladybug: “It’s my team. That means it’s **my** call what risks are worth it.”  
[it’s still better than the argument they had mid-fight. But I think they still have some fine-tuning to do when it comes to fighting together]  
Luka: “Um… I think I should probably say that Robin never even mentioned the cheat-codes. I made that decision myself.”  
[Robin raises a pointed eyebrow]  
Ladybug: “Luka, we’ll need to talk about that later. Don’t think this gets you fully off the hook. You still specifically asked him to spy on me.”  
Robin: “I… apologize. I did let my feelings affect the fight. And not just my fight.”  
Ladybug: [blushes like crazy] [I’m never going to be able to stay mad at this boy am I] “You’re forgiven. We can… talk, about it more later.”  
Batman: [swooping into the conversation] “What did he mean by _boyfriend?_ ”

~^~

Oh yeah. Ladybug and Robin are a thing now.

    Chat: [grinning like the cat who got the cream] (I regret nothing! I will die on my pun hill!!) “I win **_all_** the bets.”  
Hood: “Oh you’d better have a _damn_ good explanation brat.”  
Nightwing: “There’s got to be another answer. Ladybug’s team is teenagers. Just because they _think_ something’s going on–”  
Chloé “Excuse you? We don’t _think_ anything, we **_know._** We were all there at the end of the battle when Ladybug and Robin were trying to kiss the air out of each other’s lungs.”  
Alya: “It’s true! I didn’t get any pictures b–”  
Nino: [pulls out his phone] “I did!!”  
Alya: “Babe I love you.”

Yep. That’s very much Ladybug and Robin kissing. Dramatic spotlight and everything.

…

    Red Robin: “I’m with Hood. You’d better have one hell of an explanation for this.”  
Batman: “Robin. Tell me this was a mistake. Tell me this was a mistake you made in the heat of the moment that you’ve already come clean about and rectified. Tell me that it will not happen again.”  
[Robin shifts closer to Ladybug]  
Batman: [disappointed glare]  
The babies get up in arms. Bruce is gonna have a full-on revolt on his hands if he’s not careful.  
Nightwing: [yelling to be heard over almost half a dozen angry children] “The problem _isn’t_ Ladybug! We love Ladybug! We think she’s great! [rounds on Robin] The **_problem_** is that less than six hours ago you–” [freezes]

As one the Batfamily all turn to stare at Ladybug who’s embarrassed and blushing but also putting **negative** effort into her glamour toward the Batfam.

There’s just this cascading moment of understanding as the Batfam sees through the glamour.

    Chat: “ _AAAALLL the bets._ ”  
Nightwing: “Oh my God.”  
Red Robin: “No way.”  
Hood: “Holy Fuck.”  
Nightwing: _“Oh my God.”_  
Red Robin: “No wonder you had a crush on Ladybug.”  
Hood: [starts laughing] “This is perfect. Just– Holy **_Fuck._** ”  
Chloé: “Does anyone want to explain what exactly is going on!”  
Ladybug: [blushing as red as her mask] “I think _soulmate_ might be a more accurate term than _boyfriend._ ”  
Nightwing: _“OhmygodIamsohappyforyou!!!”_ [octopus hugs both of them]

The meeting devolves from there. (but Alya gets a _great_ recording of Batman saying ‘welcome to the family’ to Ladybug)

Bonus:

Way over in Gotham Spoiler breaks into Commissioner Gordon’s office to squee over how Robin’s soulmate is a superhero.

    Gordon: “Tell Ladybug I wish her luck. Now unless you’ve got something work related for me please leave before you give me a heart attack.”

* * *

Once we _finally_ get the meeting back on track.

It’s time to return the miraculouses to the guardian.

Alya curls her hand around her necklace. “Can’t we keep them? I know Hawkmoth’s gone but it’s not like he’s the only thing out there. The world’s always going to need superheroes.”

Ladybug shakes her head with a sad smile. “It’s too risky having that many miraculouses out in the world.” She meets Chat Noir’s eyes. They’d been having this same conversation for days now. “Technically I _should_ put away all of the miraculous, mine and Chat Noir’s included.”

All of the younger heroes surge forward toward her and Chat crying denials.

“No!”

“You can’t!”

“The world needs you and Chat Noir!”

Ladybug puts up her hands, trying to calm the tide. “I didn’t– That’s not–” A hand comes down to rest on her shoulder. She turns her head to see Robin standing behind her.

“It would be a great loss to the world if you did.”

Ladybug’s smile grows happier. She leans up and places a light kiss on his cheek before turning back to her team. “Relax. Chat and I aren’t going anywhere. And if we ever need more heroes again I know exactly who to call.”

“Yeah.” Chat leans forward on his baton, running his hand dramatically through his hair. “Bugaboo knows we can’t deprive the world of my handsome face.”

“Oh please alley cat,” Alya jokes despite tears that have collected at the corners of her eyes. “We all know the true depriving of Paris is taking Carapace’s fine face away.” Nino wraps his arm around her smiling through his own tears.

“Or Rena Rouge’s foxy figure.”

There’s a brief moment of silence then Chloé shoves her way forward. “Here!” she says, shoving her miraculous at Ladybug ~~resolutely pretending she’s not crying~~ absolutely dry-eyed. There are no tears. That’s a vicious lie. “I am _done_ with all this stupid hero stuff.”

Ladybug carefully takes the comb from her. She steps forward and places a gentle hand on the other girl’s shoulder. “Someday we’ll need Queen Bee again. And when that day comes I’m sure you’ll fight with us. You’ll always be Queen Bee.”

“Fighting with no secondary identity is more difficult.” Everyone turns to Batman who’s watching the exchange impassively. “But not impossible. More than one of our League Members do.”

Luka steps forward next. “I think I’m ready for a bit of a break. But if you ever need Viperion again just say the word. I’ll be there.”

Robin steps up to him. “Thank you for helping me like you did. I should not have pressured you as I did.” He holds out his hand offering it to Luka. 

Luka stares at it for a long moment before reaching out and taking it in his. “Anytime. And honestly I probably would have done something that stupid on my own anyway.”

While that’s going on Kagami goes over to Ladybug. She solemnly takes off her miraculous and holds it out for Ladybug to take. “I shall continue to train so that I may become stronger and better. So that the next time you call on me I shall be ready.”

It’s Chat who slips forward to take the miraculous. “Thank you,” he says. “And don’t let this three-ring circus slow you down. Adrien’s going to say yes. Provided he doesn’t ask you himself.”

“I’ll remember that.”

Finally, all that’s left is Alya and Nino.

“Guess this is it, huh?” Nino says. On his shoulder Wayzz hovers sadly. “I’m going to miss you little dude.”

“I’ll miss you too master,” Wayzz says, flying closer for one last secret handshake. “But I have faith we’ll see each other again.”

Alya fiddles with the clasp of her necklace while Trixx floats next to her. “It was great while it lasted. I’m never going to forget it. Or you Trixx.”

“You are a wonderful fox Alya. I’ll never forget you either.”

As one Alya and Nino take their miraculouses off one last time, handing them back to Ladybug. Ladybug carefully takes them then throws her arms around the two.

“You said it yourself, the world’s always going to need heroes,” she says stepping back. “This isn’t the last the world’s seen of Rena Rouge and Carapace. I know it.”

Alya sniffles, leaning into Nino. “Anytime, anyplace.”

* * *

Ladybug swings by the Wayne penthouse later that night while swinging through the city. Damian’s there to greet her. You know, for that… 'talk' they need to have.

His brothers are never going to let him live it down when they walk out and find him and Ladybug kissing.

As if they haven’t all done the same thing.

* * *

Nathalie is always going to get fatigued easier than most. The magic took a higher toll than anyone thought. But she’s not dead! Adrien visits her a few times to see how she’s doing.

Adrien never visits Gabriel. Marinette was right. Gabriel was so focused on what he lost he destroyed everything he still had. And now he’ll never get it back.

* * *

The Justice League has a betting pool.

Well, it’s less an actual organized pool and more a loose collection of increasingly wild and ridiculous theories with money attached.

Then Ladybug and Chat Noir have their grand introduction to the wider world of superheroes and Robin spends the entire time circling around Ladybug like a twitterpatted songbird.

The not-betting pool goes **_insane._** Way crazier than any of the French ones did.

Flash was the only one with any real money on ‘crush on Ladybug’ – less because he believed it to be the real answer and more because Wally’s an eternal optimist and it was the answer that amused him the most.

Flash _cleans up._ He even collects on Clark and Diana’s late arrival ‘absolutely certain’-level claim of civilian entanglement.

    Superman: “Civilian, huh?”  
Nightwing: “Yeah… It turns out _‘civilian’_ might have been a misnomer.”  
Ladybug: “In their defense they didn’t know at the time.”  
Robin: “ ** _I_** didn’t know at the time.”  
Ladybug: “And I didn’t know any of _your_ secrets at the time when Talia visited.”  
Wonder Woman: “So you’ve actually _met_ Talia?”  
Ladybug: “I should have punched her harder.”  
Clark and Diana are beginning to see what Jason had meant when he’d called her terrifying.  
Chat: “Oh my god that’s Wonder Woman. Can I have your autograph?”

* * *

Marinette visits Gotham. Gotham is very interested in Damian’s cute new foreign girlfriend. They take one look at the tiny ball of sugar and sparkles personified and give her one week. If the city doesn’t scare her off the ice prince’s personality will.

Then a viral video drops of Riddler trying to grab her and Marinette flipping him over her shoulder and knocking him unconscious while Damian looks on with heart eyes.

It’s official, Gotham’s keeping her.

Marinette and Damian keep the fact that they’re soulmates on the down low for a while longer. No one’s eager to pile that extra layer of public scrutiny on her.

~^~

Robin and Ladybug officially become a thing. Oh wow are they not subtle. They’re professional and everything but everyone and their mother know they’re a couple. Gotham has memes. Gotham has a petition for Ladybug to move to Gotham. Chat Noir has his own separate _even bigger_ petition to move to Gotham. (He wears a skintight black leather catsuit, calls Robin ‘Feathers’ and makes endless puns. Gotham has claimed him. He is theirs now, no take-backs.) There’s a campaign to make Paris their ‘Sister City Across the Sea’. They will adopt the entire city and all the heroes in it.

The first time Robin and Ladybug are photographed kissing after a battle – because again, _not subtle_ – the Gotham Gazette prints a full-page insert with the caption:

> It’s Official. Now We’ve Got Proof. Metropolis Pay Up.

(The Metropolis Insider (the shadiest of shady tabloids) sees the picture and runs with a ‘Robin Mind Controlled?’ story. The next day the Gotham Gazette’s _front page_ reads

> GOTHAM WITHOUT MIND CONTROL. METROPOLIS WITHOUT BRAINS)

~^~

Marinette and Damian come out as soulmates. Gotham goes crazy.

Of fucking course she’s Damian’s soulmate, look how perfect they are.

They **knew** they made a good choice keeping her.

All the gossip and society reporters scramble to get the first interview. Damian had scared them away up until then and that had been alright when she was just his girlfriend. But now she’s his SOULMATE. They **_have_** to get that interview.

Alya drops a prerecorded video interview of the two of them sniping everyone. Because Damian is a troll and will gladly ruin all those gossip columnists’ plans.

While everyone else is freaking out the Collège Françoise Dupont kids all just respond by finally posting their backlog of photos and videos with Damian in them.

We have mentioned Gotham’s adopting all of Paris, yes? Because they are totally adopting all of Paris. Superheroes and Collège Françoise Dupont kids first.

The most popular posts are a picture of Rose, Juleka, Marinette and Nathaniel captioned ‘soulmate squad’, a picture of Rose, Juleka, Marinette, Damian, Nathaniel and Nathaniel’s soulmate captioned, ‘soulmate squad take 2’, and the top hit: a shaky video clip filmed through a from behind a doorframe. The video, once translated from French, goes as thus: Adrien is standing in the middle of the room looking at someone out of frame “–in love my soulmate. Totally shocking.” Ah. Marinette is who’s out of frame

Adrien leans forward. “I don’t know Marinette, _platonics are a thing._ ”

“That was one time Adrien! One _. **Time.**_ ”

The camera moves to show Marinette sitting in Damian’s lap with his arms around her. Damian turns and stares directly at the camera. There’s a muffled curse as the phone is dropped before the clip cuts out.

* * *

So I know that the show’s going to end up taking the easy way out with Emilie. When (if) we ever get a proper conclusion to the show (rather than it just getting cut and ending unresolved) you just know they’re going to make it super easy and quick and just wake Emilie up instantly.

That’s not how we roll in this house.

You want to wake up the person who’s absence was the sole motivation for the main villain, and a huge part of the backstory/characterization for the deuteragonist, _AND_ has spent the series in a visible coffin you’re going to half to work for it.

So here’s how that’s going to go.

Emilie is in a magical coma.

 _Coma_ is not _Dead._

It’s unclear whether Gabe ever really fully realized the ‘not dead’ part in a practical sense rather than just the normal run of the mill maniacal ‘You can’t be gone! I won’t _let_ you be gone!!’ sense. Either way he did not care. He had his plan, he was going to rob children, use souped-up accessories to rewrite reality itself, bring her back. Later revisions added optional murder but the plan remained largely unchanged from conception to failed execution.

_ Except Emilie Wasn’t Dead. _

Whether or not she’s dead changes things. Structurally, Functionally, and yes, **Magically** the difference between _Dead_ and _Not Dead_ is a really really big difference!

Which means…

**_CONGRATULATIONS YOU FUCK-NUGGET!! YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED HER!!!_ **

Here’s an idea. You knew there were other miraculouses. You knew there was a Guardian. You had the magic grimoire so you _knew_ these things since the very beginning. Instead of leapfrogging straight to emotional terrorism and violence against children how about trying to reach out to the Guardian and _asking for help?_

I mean yes, Fu would have been useless because he was a trash guardian who got everyone eaten _But You Didn’t Know That._

I’m just saying.

**Proper. Channels.**

It’s not that hard.

Marinette throws herself into finding a cure. Unfortunately ‘awakening the almost-dead’ is kinda jumping into the deep end for a self-taught teenager.

(Anybody who’s going, ‘um, what about the no-longer-eaten monks?’ haha-No. I _hardcore_ headcanon that those monks are either going to be useless, absent, or if they do show up actively antagonistic in the vein of ‘you’re doing it wrong let us bulldoze in and take everything’.)

So no, Emilie’s not going to be a quick fix. It’s a problem whose solution is more in line with _‘years’_. But. One day Marinette will figure it out.

One day Emilie will blink open her eyes to a young man with blond hair and green eyes hovering over her that looks so much like her little boy. But that can’t be her Adrien. Her baby is still just a boy. And is that… a black cat kwami next to him?

And one day Adrien will watch his mother’s eyes blink open and lock eyes with his and he’ll forget everything else. Not Marinette and Damian lingering at the edges of the room. Not Tikki still floating just past Emilie’s head. Not Plagg floating next to him. All he’ll be able to see is his mother, awake and finally, finally back.

“Bonjour Maman.”

* * *

And now, as with all proper epilogues, we shall leave you with a brief glimpse into the future.

      
_“How’s your mom doing?”_  
 _“Nightwing got her hooked on some Romani soap opera. It’s apparently trash representation but the drama is irresistible. Personally I think they both just think one of the actors is hot and the newest evil twin storyline means he gets twice the screen time.”_  
 _“They watched the newest episode without me?!”_  
 _“You’re lucky you’re cute.”_  
 _“Am **I** cute Ryuko?”_  
 _“Not while we’re in uniform. We need to remain professional.”_  
 _“Ladybug and Roc are professional.”_  
 _“They’re also so in harmony with each other and firmly established as a couple people would be surprised if they _stopped_ acting romantic while in uniform.”_  
 _“We have more self-control than that.”_  
 _“You might. Alas, I am but a poor hopeless romantic kitten.”_  
 _“Oh you’re hopeless alright._  
 _“Can we hurry this up already?”_  
 _“Why are you so impatient? Some of us do this full time in addition to real jobs, **your majesty.** ”_  
 _“There’s our target.”_  


Vin pulls the truck into park, clambering out of it before it’s fully stopped. He does not like this magical shit. There’s a great market for it but personally Vin wants as little to do with it as possible. Especially since his son’s been getting really into this dark fairy tale book lately. That shit is _messed up._ He throws open the back of the truck, grabbing the closest crate. The sooner he gets rid of this stuff the better. Just drop it off. Just drop it off, leave and wait for the money. Quick and easy.

Quick and easy.

A shadow drops down from the roof above him. “Oh shit!” Vin spins around craning to see into the alley. Another shadow drops.

“Going somewhere?” someone asks, dropping down with the other shadows.

Fuck this.

Vin turns tail, sprinting for the mouth of the alley. Fuck this shit. They want their magic trinkets so badly they can come get’em themselves.

The alley is immediately blocked by three figures. Vin skids to a stop right in front of the middle one. A man in a teal-blue costume and mask, accented with scales and where those _fangs_ on his mask? Flanking him is a woman in red and black with horns on the side of her head, holding a sword and another woman decked out like a bee. Vin whips around. The shadowy figures walk closer. There’s three of them, two men and a woman, mirroring their teammates. The woman is dressed like a fox and the man on the right reminds him of a turtle. In the middle a man in a black leather catsuit steps forward, lazily spinning a baton between terrifyingly sharp-clawed hands.

“Now now,” he says with the same voice that had spoken before. “What’s the rush? You’re our first real lead in weeks.”

“I–I don’t know nothing.”

Something drops down onto the roof of the car with a thud. “That’s a lie.”

Vin looks up. “No. Fuck no! I left Gotham to get away from you bat-themed freaks!”

“Bat-themed freaks,” cat-guy echoes. “That’s really what you want to start this conversation with? Also, a roc’s a bird.”

“I don’t care! I ain’t dealing with any of that Gotham shit anymore!!”

“Relax,” Roc says with a smirk that just makes him that much more terrifying. “This isn’t my bust. I’m only here as back-up. The real one running the show is her.”

“…Her?” Vin asks against his better judgement.

Roc stands and extends a hand upwards. Another figure takes his hand descending to the roof of the car much more gracefully than Roc had. She’s slim with dark hair and bright blue eyes. She’s dressed in blood red and with pitch black spots and paneling on her arms and legs. A pair of wings flutter behind her before dissolving into sparkling pink light. She looks like a fairy. The fairies in his little boy’s book ate men alive.

The maybe-fairy smiles up at Roc as he kisses the back of her hand. She’s _tiny_ next to Roc but somehow controls attention effortlessly. Vin has no problem believing she’s in charge of everyone here. Then she turns her smile on him, razor sharp and eyes glittering like knives.

Oh fuck. He is _so_ dead.

“Arvin McCann. We have some questions for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it. We're at the end of our ride folks.  
> Once again thank you all of you for reading through this roller-coaster.
> 
> This is the end of the story but it might not end up being the last time I play in this very specific sandbox. I've got a few ideas, a midquel niblet with a Luka POV, a full-prose same-universe batcentric post-canon idea, a couple of aus idea bunnies of how this premise could have gone off the rails and the beginning thoughts about a proper sequel – of which I have only the vaguest whispers of thoughts so far. I know my own writing habits to hard promise anything, let alone anything like a timeline but all the Damianette bunnies are still actively hopping around my brain so keep an eye out, at least one of those might end up shaking out.
> 
> Until then though,  
> The End.


End file.
